I am about to become... the SECOND most hated on here.. lol

[Triple X]

Yeah, thats right... I might as well come out in the open and speak my mind.

This is something I feel pretty passionately about and unfortunately I'm sure a lot of you will disagree with me but here goes anyways.. what am I talking about?!?

COLD APPROACHES.

I love this site but this subject has to be the biggest problem I have with it (and I struggle to see why it is so smiled upon).

I live in England, so maybe cultures are different across the globe but generally over here, if you approach someone you don't know with the premise of 'gaming them' subtly or not, more than likely the girl will think you are weird or a complete freak. Very rarely are there exceptions.

Over here this kind of thing just isn't done. If I was to go up to a complete stranger in the street, introduce myself and give some corny line like 'don't I know you from somewhere'.. chances are she would be perplexed, appalled and maybe even scared - like 'don't you have a life?!?' It makes you look sad and desperate. PLUS it gives them all the power too (YOU are the one gaming her)

It's threads like this make me want to cry:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=75968

NOT because of what the guy did. I mean he got some balls. But its the thinking behind it. 'Its a numbers game - the more you approach, the more success you will have!!'

Yeah.... but also the more times you get rejected and humiliated (which you certainly will).... the lower your confidence will become and subsequently your will to keep trying.

I mean PLEASE... there are far better ways to meet women than having to endure this humiliation constantly. Is any pvssy worth sacrificing your dignity for THAT much?!?

You wanna meet women? Go to clubs! Join social events! Meet them through other ppl! Go online even!! There are FAR better ways to meet females which don't involve the loss of your dignity like the cold approach.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of stuff on here is gold, the DJ Bible is awesome, etc etc. Its just I have a big problem with this subject.

I know a lot of you will disagree with me but I had to say this. Its something I feel strongly about and would personally recommend newbies NOT to try.

But comments are welcome.

 

[Dublinsfinest]

I agree with you.

It's hard meeting women and some people take the easy, most painless and most flakiest way out

 

[Coolage]

why is it so humiliating?

when you are looking for jobs you have to cold call people all the time.

I agree though about street pickups. I don't see it working. but if you met a girl at a bookstore that you would like to ask out, what's the worst that could happen?

You don't go out with her?

 

[Qmanchoo]

You have to define "success" in Rockitck's context. Success for him, at this point, is just getting over anxiety.

"Cold approaches" are fine for people wanting to overcome a insecurity or a life barrier like this. If you go from zero social experience and start doing cold approaches, even if you get rejected, you're going to feel better about yourself that you tried and put the effort in.

Although, I don't like that terminilogy "cold approach" because it implies that the person wont be receptive to you and you have to open them up. Lots of people are open to random converastion.

The boot camp serves its purpose and will make extremely socially uncomfortable people realize that people aren't so scary aftrer all once they rise and repeat enough.

Personally, I'd say that if that's what it takes to get rockitck out of his anxiety shell and it's working for him, go for it.

The true path to being a Don Juan (and I don't like that term either now since everyone seems to have a different interpretation of it) is breaking down your personal barriers to become 100% open, receptive, and comfortable at all times. Everything else that breeds success will come out of that.

I don't think cold approahes are the best way to meet women, however in the right context it can work quite well.

 

[Jariel]

I completely agree with you and have always maintained my dislike for cold approaches. I'm all for making casual conversation and breaking the ice with strangers, developing social skills, but not with the pure intention of picking them up.

There's just something very sad and pathetic about guys throwing themselves at women. It's even quite disturbing that some guys dedicate most of their time to "sarging" and go through 100s of approaches. That's desperate and more than a little creepy in my opinion.

 

[frivolousz21]

in the United States of America!

you shouldnt have any issues with cold approaches.



our country is supposed to be this country were you talk to your neighbors...

I talk to americans everywhere I go....gas statations, walmart, baseball games..ect.

if they happen to be 5 4 blonde 115 34DD so be it!



the more cold approaches you do, the better off you are!



IF YOU ARE HUMILIATED WHEN YOU ARE REJECTED..THATS OBVIOUS YOU ARENT CONFIDENT ENUF IN YOURSELF TO GET THAT IT HAPPENS.

of course the numbers are in your favor when your at a bar..or online rather than the street or a facility!

stop making excuses

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by Jariel
There's just something very sad and pathetic about guys throwing themselves at women. It's even quite disturbing that some guys dedicate most of their time to "sarging" and go through 100s of approaches. That's desperate and more than a little creepy in my opinion.

Why? Some of us don't have huge social circles where we can meet girls through friends, etc. Or maybe we had social circles in school and most of our friends are away for the summer. If you don't meet women strictly through your day-to-day activities (and you know how much people on this site say to stay away from female co-workers...so it's not like I'm only talking about guys in school) you'll be faced with cold approaches as being the only solution.

Besides, if you don't succeed, atleast you boost the girl's ego a bit and make her day brighter because she got 'hit on'.

Sure joining social events is a great idea. But what about when you just see that one super hot chick somewhere? Back before I found this site I thought there is no way I could meet that girl, she's not in any of my classes, none of my friends no her, she's not in any of my clubs, and etc. negative thinking. The only way is to cold approach. I don't like the term either...because it's not really "cold" to strike up some conversation and see where that takes you. You don't have to close her...you just meet her atleast; something you couldn't do even if you knew all the school football players.

I think the whole loss of dignity is that you actually fear it. I thought about having that too, but no one even gives a crap unless you pull something out of the ordinary and humiliate yourself completely. Just starting a conversation and casually asking to hang out with someone won't cost you your dignity.

I won't recommend going to either clubs over street approaches to other newbies (I'm still a newbie doing these approaches, and I'm glad I'm not 21 yet) because in clubs alcohol can probably ease you up. In my opinion it's better to get comfortable socially in a sober environment than get used to doing it with alcohol in your system for the first time you do it.

Lastly, I gotta say maybe we gotta change the name to "warm approaches" because it should be a positive thing and the way it sounds being "cold" is all negative. You should be warm, and comfortable.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

I'm going to Europe this summer and plan on approaching dozens of women. I could care less if they think I'm a stupid American, I'm trying to get some pvssy.

 

[Triple X]

Hmm.. maybe I should clarify what I mean.

Like Jariel said, I'm all for striking up friendly conversation with strangers (if appropriate). That's perfectly normal, and not what I'm concerned with.

The difference with the cold approach is you are deliberately striking up conversation with the SOLE AIM of getting into a girl's pants. The only reason you are talking to her is to get her # - it is not merely 'friendly conversation'. There is an ulterior motive.

The whole thing reeks of desperation and creepyness and girls can smell this a mile away.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Triple X
...
I live in England, so maybe cultures are different across the globe but generally over here, if you approach someone you don't know with the premise of 'gaming them' subtly or not, more than likely the girl will think you are weird or a complete freak. Very rarely are there exceptions...

The problem is that no matter where you live, if you approach women with only the premise of gaming them, you will be shot down more times than you can count. Without learning how to gain rapport with a woman, it would be best not to do cold approaches.

 

[Triple X]

Maybe. But from most of the reports of cold approaches I have read, this is exactly what happens.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree, I've read the same FRs. Think about it, you walk up to a woman, drop a cheesy line on her and expect to walk away with a #close? Rarely works. Why should she give some strange guy on the street her number? She doesn't know him and from his lame pick up line, she doesn't want to know him.

 

[Alpine]

NO, NO, NO.

Look, define a cold approach first.

All it means is you don't know them, you are probably in a public place and you go away with a date or some means of contacting them.

Trouble is everyone here is assuming you just go up to some girl, come out with a line that is a blatant pickup and expect to get a number.

Of course that won't work, unless you are Tom Cruise with cubans on.

Is it not fair to say that what is also valid is striking up a convo with someone about anything relevant, the shop window you are both looking in, the price of melons, how cool that busker is, how much you like her latest mobile.

Bridge from here to some personal info searching for commonalities. Oh so you play the guitar, I've always wanted to learn, do you have lessons? Have you got his number...

From this level of rapport after just a few minutes, you can then say hey, what's your email?, you can send me his number.

Body language and voice tone should now indicate the subtext and if she is keen you'll get it.

Now do you see how what you call a cold approach CAN work?

I was once up a mountain in the breacon beacons in October and got the phone number and address off two hot trainee nurses. Now that's what I call a cold approach!

How did I do that?, think about it, be creative look for connections and links.

Simple, I went over to them and said, hey can you take my picture on the summit? Some small talk about what a great feeling, at one with nature bull****.

Hey, I can take your picture if you like. Bang, phone number and forwarding address with the innocent reason to send them a pic.

Start off by talking to strangers, old people, ugly people, and work up to good looking girls. Play a game of finding out as much about then as possible without them even realising it.

More advanced skills can be gained from reading books on cults, mentalism and so called psychics, they all use subtle illicitation techniques to gain rapport.

Keep at it and treat it as a fun, interesting activity.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

hey bro, awesome discussion, you made some valid points...I just want to add., but I could be wrong...

but there is not such thing as rejection. From being in sales, and learning how the human minds works and so on....a person will say no due to certain things that involved their train of thinking, if you can change their train of thoughts, like Dale Carnegie shows you in How To Win Friends and Influence People, they will be less likely to reject you.......and even if you still get rejected, it is also for reasons being in their head.

When we take rejection as saying, we were not created good enough, and everybody else is better, this is when rejection hurts and even kills our spirits.

Rejection instead, should make us go deeper into understand our human social relations.....once you have a great understanding, meeting new people becomes a habit instead of a hinderance.

Great job guys...