I always want everything to be perfect

[SayWhat]

Some situations to clarify:
- when in a pub with friends I want to have an amazing time. I want to laugh so hard so I start crying, I want to have great conversations, no silent moments...
- when on a trip I want everything to be as it should be, always laughing, great meals, great weather, sitting outside as long as possible
- as with girls or just anyone: I want everyone to like me which leads me to saying neutral things and not going into deeper conversations or just saying what I want to say

But in reality it's never like this and I want to know if what I want is actually very impossible and how it is with you guys?
I go home and think I don't have a great life or great friends because it's never like this...

 

[skinnyguy]

Have fun fapping at home while other people are enjoying themselves. No seriously, I've been there before. Just be positive and realize that your life could be much worse. You could be starving in Somalia

 

[GetFit66]

Hmm I've been thinking about this too recently, but it got annoying and I felt like I can keep looking at the bad or enjoy the good and that better times will come but I'm not going to keep my focus on them.

I think being neutral is good at times but maybe it keeps you from bonding with people who see things the way you truly do and having a bad ass time?

I'm like this at work and in general, I try to be, but with one of my coworkers who understands that I like to respect everyone and listen to them and not judge them, I say the stupidest and weirdest **** and it makes us cry laughing. I always end up correcting my self when I feel he didn't understand that I was still neutral on something even tho I spoke my mind and said all kinds of **** about something.

 

[Gunner26]

Dude, there is nothing wrong with striving for perfection.

But at the same time you have to be realistic, life is not like T.V or movies, at the pub there is always going to be a period where the conversation lulls to silence. In my experience, when I have laughed as hard as you seem to want to, it has normally been followed 10 minutes later by a bit of silence, where we all just sit around and enjoy it after almost busting our ribcages.

On your trips, you cannot control the weather, in my opinion to make something perfect it has to be something you can control. In that sense if the weather is poor, adjust your expectations and then make the situation perfect. So you can't sit outside in the rain. Is it still hot? If so, get your trunks on and get in the pool. You'd be surprised how good a time you could have doing that. Think outside the box.

And with the last part boy do I know what you mean. I used to have this fear of saying something that might upset somebody, in-case it would start an argument, or they wouldn't like me because of it. And I was wrong to think that way. Not everybody is going to like you, and that is something you have to accept. If they don't like you, don't try and win them around, that will only make things worse, leave them alone, and maybe they will come around somewhere down the line, if not, let them fade out of your life. You don't really want somebody hanging out with you who doesn't like you anyway.

Don't restrict what you want to say to comply to other people, you need to be your own person with your own beliefs and judgement. If they aren't happy with what you say, then do you really want to be friends with them? Also sometimes a bit of disagreement can strengthen a friendship, I know myself and a friend have completely different views on relationships, and if anything it gives us something else to discuss and laugh about.

Being neutral is literally only restricting yourself. The only time I would consider being neutral is if two friends got into a fight over something controversial, but even then I would still think I would speak my mind if I thought it would resolve the issue.

Again I stress, life is not like the movies and that's ok. A movie is scripted, life is not. It will have it's ups and downs, but at the end of the day, it's up to you to make it as perfect as you want it to be.

Gunner

 

[RedZone]

If your waiting for perfection...you will be waiting for a long time. Rarely anything goes perfect.