"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I almost have no more use for this DJing ****.

00Kevin

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
This is good stuff. I did all of this a few years ago and it has made a difference. Haven't found the 'right' woman but I've avoided mass amounts of the 'wrong' type of women.

This is correct. I can honestly say that I've always known what I'm looking for in a woman. It is just second nature to me. In fact, I wrote it all down a few years ago too. All my dating experiences and relationships have not changed my perspective.

I have found that any time I ignored undesirable traits I ended up regretting it later. I still think the same way as I did when I was in high school.

When it comes to women always go with what your gut instincts are telling you about her. If you think she will sleep around on you she will. if you think she will take your money hide it etc..


anyway...

I've come to the conclusion that life for a man is a constant struggle. Life can be more of a struggle with a woman then it can without. so it really doesn't matter in the end.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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00Kevin

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Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-

the dilemma is whether or not you'd be happy in an AFC relationship today...or...being a DJ now and struggling to find the woman who meets your standards because there are so few out there...

personally...i'd take the latter..and i'm sure you would too...
I agree with this. There are a lot of psychological problems associated with men who are AFC. It can get so bad that it starts to effect their personal accomplishments. If a guy can't go up to a woman and ask for her phone number what else can't he do? sounds rather sad if you think about it.

I hear guys in the office who change the tone of their voice when their wife calls. it is so sad it isn't funny. these guys are totally whiped. These guys will get no place in life.
 

Bonhomme

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Where do you find these women at?

... and QUIT WHINING! (chuckling...)

OK, so you're very good at meeting and hooking up with women, but haven't found one who is up to your (very high?) standards.

Where do you meet most of these women?

If you seek quality, you must go where quality is to be found.

It's late, and I have a life, so I'll leave it at that. Think about where to go to find quality.
 

00Kevin

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Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
heh, think about this... the DJ bible condemns oneitis... so if that one girl out of 600,000 happens to look at you the wrong way, or forgets to return your call, you are supposed to next her?

Sheer Lunacy!

I say, if you find that one special girl, you better exhaust all possible avenues of making it work before coming to the conclusion that you have to move on.

There are some good ideas on this forum, but you must think for yourself and not take the DJ bible or all the advice on this forum so literally.

actually the DJ bible does explain how to pursue a woman correctly. you shouldn't just next a girl once you are the ladies man.

I can honestly say that It will be enjoyable DJing a good girl. I'll know everything she is up to and i'll have a bunch of extra tools to get her.
 

00Kevin

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Re: Where do you find these women at?

Originally posted by Bonhomme
... and QUIT WHINING! (chuckling...)

OK, so you're very good at meeting and hooking up with women, but haven't found one who is up to your (very high?) standards.

Where do you meet most of these women?

If you seek quality, you must go where quality is to be found.

It's late, and I have a life, so I'll leave it at that. Think about where to go to find quality.

this is true. there is no quality where I'm living. maybe i'll try a nice country girl or go find a non americanized woman.

I'll hit on a girl anyplace. The book store, a club, the movies, it doesn't matter.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Porky

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Classic qualifying, if a woman doesn't even look approachable is it even worth the effort?
Sorry, I'm not making myself very clear. An attractive girl might be approachable - but you need to decide if she's worth it for you. Sure, you could have sex with her, but are yo looking fo ra relationship girl or a ONS?

relationship girls (QUALITY relationship girls) have a different look to them.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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KEVIN: I've been happily married for 8 years to a wonderful and (still) attractive woman. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her and we have a 6 year old daughter to boot. Let me tell you something about finding the ONE - There is no ONE. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones but there is no ONE. I can't begin to tell you how many girls I nailed before my wife that I thought were the ONE and even said so. It took a long time to disillusion myself of this 'soulmate' garbage, but that's what it is; it's advertising to sell you what will amount to a raw deal if you internalize it. My wife was (and is) a good One, but I know damn well that if (God forbid) she died or cheated on me, there are other good Ones to spend time with. And there is no doubt in my mind that she would do the same.

You've got to find contentment in yourself. How you deal with being alone is the test. After that you can decide what a good One is. Women should be a compliment to a man's life, never the focus of it.

Once you do surrender and get married you'll encounter the 'now what' question and you'll finally understand. Men and women are sold the insecurity of inadequacy for the better part of their young lives. You NEED to find your 'soulmate' and the game of dating is central to our lives. Marriage is sold to us as a 'goal'. When you finally do achieve the goal of marrying, the night you are married you will confront the 'now what?' dynamic. This is the paradox of having lived for the looking for so long, we don't know what to do with ourselves and the reality of the expectation to stay 'faithful' to eachother finally sets in.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Porky
...
relationship girls (QUALITY relationship girls) have a different look to them.
Explain....
 

Oxide

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heh...it is just me or every guy on this site has a reason for saying "im fed up with these women!" ?

Life partner, ONS, blah blah.. you know what..im 20, in college..im gonna fvck girls who meet my standards.. if i dont find any who will fvck me..then im not getting any at all..

honestly..im getting tired of lowering my standards to get sex...i think all or nothing at this point works for me.


Oh..standards wise.. i need a pretty face.. if i wake up in the morning, turn to you, and dont like what i see..well im not calling again.
 

Hoppy

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Anti-dump's stuff is geared at exactly what you're talking about, Finding a girl that meets your standards.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Tha Realnezz

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This site is good for what it's worth..printing out the pages and wiping mah ass with it.:eek:
 

Porky

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Explain....
haha. I've been trying to.

it's really in the eyes. they just look nicer. I have a very good friend who is very, very hot, and very, very nice. she would never make fun of anybody, and she's the type to volunteer at a soup kitchen just for the experience of helping people.

then, of course, we all know the typical hot girls. they wear fashionable clothes and look down on people. there's just a different look to their face. the nice girls have a softer look to their faces.
 

LikRetsam

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Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
This site is good for what it's worth..printing out the pages and wiping mah ass with it.:eek:
hahaha ;)

Yeah, mainstream chicks are not worthy. I mean, I'm still at qualification number 1: She must be able to challenge my mind, make me think.

I feel like I'll be sitting here a LONG time.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Re: Re: Where do you find these women at?

Originally posted by 00Kevin
this is true. there is no quality where I'm living. maybe i'll try a nice country girl or go find a non americanized woman.

I'll hit on a girl anyplace. The book store, a club, the movies, it doesn't matter.
I'm right with you there. I'm sure now more than ever that my chances of finding the "right one" here in the states is very slim. Not that I'm into the Mail Order Bride type women, just that I'm more attracted to the looks and attitude of women of Spanish or European decent. Definitely ones that have not become "Americanized." Nothing against American women, I just have yet to find one with the majority of the qualities that I'm looking for.
 

Soapz

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To bump a two yr old post...

Maybe the problem isn't with the girls- its with the method.

How can we expect to grow and connect with someone if our main goal was getting them into bed?

Also, it is probably much harder to love someone when all thats in your head when your interacting is DJ "Tactics."

I always find that giving love is just as satisfying as Being loved.

Let go and really try to connect with people. And yeah, maybe go to new places to find girls.

G'luck!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

comote

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seabreeze said:
Might I suggest you write down a list of things that you would like your ideal girl to be? If you don't know what you want, you're never going to find it. Sometimes people talk about their ideal partner but have no idea what it is. They don't take the time to reflect and get to know themselves so that they know what will work for them or not. For instance, what part of you is the most desireable to a woman of LTR value? What are the good parts of your personality? What are the bad? What can you change about yourself for the better? What things (good or bad) will never change? Perhaps you can think about what you have to offer a woman and then think about what type of woman would be attracted to your qualities. Then you can think about those qualities that you want in a woman. Sosuave can't help you with that. Every woman has a vagina, so what. But what are those SPECIAL things that you need from YOUR woman?

I also agree with this advice. But more than that you have to become the man that your dream girl is going to want to be with. Case in point, becoming "that guy" that sleeps around with skanks. Is the girl you are really looking for going to want to be with a guy that is sleeping around with skanks? So either stop or keep your skank sleeping around in a different social circle.




Maybe I have just been extremely lucky but I have met plenty of women that are just awesome. Maybe you have disqualified too early the right women for you? My current gf flaked on me at one point during our first couple of dates, at which point I Nexted her, well it turns out that she had a valid excuse, but I would never have found that out if she hadn't approached me at a party and made that clear.



When searching for "the right woman" or one of the many "right women" because there are plenty out there, you may have to ease up a little on the DJ rules, for example alot of girls out there(more then you might think) are not going to be ready to have sex well into the relationship(and after you talked about exclusivity), ask yourself, is it worth it? Do I really want to be with her? Because there are plenty of girls out there that will have sex with you right away, so the temptation will be there.



Look all I'm saying is those girls are out there, take a cooking class, go do some volunteer work. Take a salsa dancing class. There will be women all over the place.
 
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