"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I almost got in a fight over a hot broad

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Heynow999

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So I was driving home late last night and just a few blocks from my house I see people moving in the bushes. I get closer and see it is a teenage guy and girl, drunk and having a lovers quarrel. The girl waves at me and calls for help, so I stop. They walk out onto the street and continue talking to each other. I get out of my truck and I ask if she is OK. The BF is getting upset and the HB tells me to leave! The BF then starts yelling at me telling me to get the fvck out of there. I have a bit of an attitude so I tell him that he doesn't fvcking tell me what to do. This sets him off and he charges at me. I hop in my truck and he starts punching at me throught the window! He misses thankfully. He comes in the window again and I floor it and he falls on the road. It was like a scene from a zombie movie. So I just leave.

So what can we learn from this? At first I was mad at the guy, but after I thought about it, It was the HB who was the problem. Here we are, two guys who don't even know each other, fighting because of her. We gave her way too much power. As soon as I saw she was OK I should have just left.

Just wanted to share that
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Heynow999

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that was a mistake.

Is there a sticky somewhere that explains all the abbreviations? What is an AFC?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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horaholic

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Zero123 said:
That was an AFC move don't be a captian.
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That has nothing to do with AFC or not. It is best to stay out of those situations though, but if she flagged you down, what were you supposed to do? i chalk it up to an unfortunate event.

Oh, and google PUA acronyms or abbreviations. There are pages.
 
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Robert28

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first of all you have a dumb hoe that flags you down. then when you stop she tells you to leave? what a psycho. then her bf smarts off at you and you say something back like any self respecting person would do. then he charges at you(wtf is he a bull?) and starts punching at you. couldnt you grab his arm, and break that f*cker? i damn sure would have tried. it's called self defense. ofcourse if you start whaling on him the dumb hoe(let's not forget her) might come to his aid and start hitting you too. quite the pickle you were in i'd say. i dunno man, if some dude comes swigning at me, i'm going to do something....ANYTHING. you didn't go looking for a fight but i'd sure as hell give him one if he wanted to dance.
 
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Energizer

Guest
This post has had me in tears of laughter.

I wouldn't bother stopping, I'd have had my prodigy blarring out and pass them by.
 
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