I act in a way I f*ck things up when I know a girl is interested

[SayWhat]

Hi

When I meet a girl, all is going good, up till the point I know she's interested. When I know it, I act normal for a few days, but then suddenly I start to ignore her or act completely different around (no hello, no goodbye,...). I don't know why I do this and I need to know why, because this behavior f*cks everything up. She asks what's wrong, I say 'nothing'.

Another example, when I'm in that 'fase' I'm glad she's around, but I act like a little **** as said above around her, when she goes home I literally crash, I can start to cry, again like a little ****, or just feel the energy drain from my body. I keep hoping for a text, which never comes, because I dropper her IL to below zero.

WHY do I act this way, I have no reason for it and still...

 

[Born_Again]

What are you afraid of her finding out about you deep down
You think about what i just wrote and you may get your answer

 

[VladPatton]

Everyone does that man, but it goes away with being more social and getting used to these situations. Surround yourself with people.

 

[The411]

Hi

When I meet a girl, all is going good, up till the point I know she's interested. When I know it, I act normal for a few days, but then suddenly I start to ignore her or act completely different around (no hello, no goodbye,...). I don't know why I do this and I need to know why, because this behavior f*cks everything up. She asks what's wrong, I say 'nothing'.

Another example, when I'm in that 'fase' I'm glad she's around, but I act like a little **** as said above around her, when she goes home I literally crash, I can start to cry, again like a little ****, or just feel the energy drain from my body. I keep hoping for a text, which never comes, because I dropper her IL to below zero.

WHY do I act this way, I have no reason for it and still...

Because some people such as yourself prefer the "safe relationship" where when it comes time to put up or shut up they'd prefer to push others away rather than moving past their own 'fear thinking' that those same people they see like them will eventually push you away if they get too close to you and found out the things you don't like about and haven't changed for yourself. That and thinking that if they found out about the things you don't like about yourself will automatically mean they won't like you anymore and they'll tell others hurting you even more.

It could be an irrational, subconcious fear or simply something you know you should correct or work on that would turn people off but you'd rather live "safetly", and do nothing about it but just complain.

If you think whatever it is about you is truly "unloveable or unwantable" once "found out" by the person you like you have to determine why you think that way and how to resolve it. It may be something that's irrational but a big deal to you and wouldn't be to to others though your own fear is holding you back from progressing.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Agreed with everything that's said above.

You have to understand that no one is perfect. (cliche but true)

Seriously. This is where the moniker of "be yourself" comes into play. You are disqualifying these women before they can disqualify you. It's your insecurities coming into play. Women do this exact same thing as well. That's why you have to be able to navigate through a lot of these women's smoke shields. Anyways, one of the most attractive traits to a woman is a man who is "comfortable in his own skin".

Become comfortable in who you are, and accept yourself. Then, if they don't like you, fvck em, who cares.

 

[SayWhat]

Thanks, I think it's because I think I'm boring and have very low self-confidence. Going to sit down this night and think over it thoroughly.

But how should I proceed? Just act like nothing happened, or should I apologize and perhaps make something up why I acted that way (the truth won't help I think)? I have no interest in this girl to start a relationship (I really don't, but I can't tell the whole story, this would be too long). But I do want things to go back to normal between me and her.

 

[Heisenberg]

Because some people such as yourself prefer the "safe relationship" where when it comes time to put up or shut up they'd prefer to push others away rather than moving past their own 'fear thinking' that those same people they see like them will eventually push you away if they get too close to you and found out the things you don't like about and haven't changed for yourself. That and thinking that if they found out about the things you don't like about yourself will automatically mean they won't like you anymore and they'll tell others hurting you even more.

It could be an irrational, subconcious fear or simply something you know you should correct or work on that would turn people off but you'd rather live "safetly", and do nothing about it but just complain.

If you think whatever it is about you is truly "unloveable or unwantable" once "found out" by the person you like you have to determine why you think that way and how to resolve it. It may be something that's irrational but a big deal to you and wouldn't be to to others though your own fear is holding you back from progressing.

Wow. This is me, word for word. Would love to stop pushing the good ones away.

 

[SayWhat]

I did it again... I pushed another girl away with this behavior. I don't know why this keeps happening.

Probably low self-confidence as stated here, but I'm not really sure anymore as I feel good overall... God damn it.

 

[VikingKing]

I did it again... I pushed another girl away with this behavior. I don't know why this keeps happening.

Probably low self-confidence as stated here, but I'm not really sure anymore as I feel good overall... God damn it.

Stop taking things so seriously.