Hypnosis/subliminals

[Magnatolia]

Hey all,

Anyone know of any good self hypnosis or subliminal mp3s that can be helpful in overcoming barriers?

The problem is that I was extremely shy across my whole life not just women, and over the last 5 years I've slowly but surely picked away at the problems and now all that's left is rock-hard and can't be picked at.

I still have confidence issues, like once a girl pinched my ass but all I did was turn around and check the faces of the girls behind me to see if anyone was looking guilty.

And approaching is hard, I don't know what to say. I know the words are the least important part but they still mean something.

So, does anyone know of any good quality hypnosis products that are useful at helping me to at least soften some of these fears.

I've listened to hypnosis files before and have noticed minor changes in other aspects. Look forward to your advice.

For the record, I've tried fighting these things but it doesn't work. They just hit me hard, and usually rear their heads instantly.

 

[slaog]

For the record, I've tried fighting these things but it doesn't work. They just hit me hard, and usually rear their heads instantly.

I don't think you're ment to fight any problems you have. You're supposed to actually allow them or accept the problems.

Why is this you may ask... fighting or resisting a problem means that you are giving it energy and making it worse. So just accept it and you'll feel better as it begins to stop having a negative impact on you.

Check out Eckhart Tolle videos on youtube.

 

[everywomanshero]

Subliminal messages have been studied by psychology departments of many US Universities. What has been found is that they do not affect competence at all. People do often report that they feel more able, but when skills are tested (memory for example in one study I read) there has been no change.

The issue you're describing (shyness) has also been studied. Correlationally speaking, you probably need to address your interpretation of events (cognitive therapy) and slowly increase your exposure to said events (behavioral therapy). A natural system of checking for green lights is known as flirting. It is very natural and in fact, it is innately programmed into human beings. Therefore, you will eventually come to realize that there is no reason to feel guilty for checking for a green light, it's actually polite behavior.

Medication is another thing to consider. Some people refuse to begin exposure therapy without medication. Your doctor can prescribe short acting solutions such as Xannax to be taken prior to exposure or SSRIs which must be taken over a longer period of time. You can try these if you wish, but understand that Xannax and similar short acting drugs may be addictive. Also, if you simply load up on alcohol, benzos, etc, then you'll be creating a codependence on these substances that may led you to believe you cannot face social situations without them.. not a good thing. I'd stick to cognitive and behavorial therapies. If you feel depressed or anxious in general, then you can try an SSRI which are not addictive and have fewer side effects than many other chemical aids. My bet is that you already have a codepence on having agreement with and being likable to people (especially women). Because you are so afraid of a negative reaction, you tend to take little action at all. Because you take little action and are hestitant, you do not gain enough experiences to ever find out what is likely to really happen. On top of this, I'm willing to bet you tend to pick out the few things that go "wrong" in any social situation and dwell on them, not realizing that no one (but you) will even remember those tiny details a month from now. How is my cold reading so far?

 

[frisco]

Try hypnotica s stuff listen to sphinx of imagination, he has some pretty good ****

 

[martinM.]

Hey all,



I still have confidence issues, like once a girl pinched my ass but all I did was turn around and check the faces of the girls behind me to see if anyone was looking guilty.

What do you think the appropriate action would have been?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I've thought about this too, the self-hypnosis thing, but I think as everywomanshero said, it's probably not going to be very effective, especially if there is a melancholic disposition that sort of has you grounded from making good connections.

What I am leaning towards trying is aromatic products (pheromones) rather than drugs products which can have side-effects and go into your blood system. Believe it or not, more than just attracting women, there are some of those products for sale that can also pep up your mood like an SSRI or whatever can and doesn't lead to addictions with it. I don't know if it's true or not or if it would really work, but I think I'll investigate it, try it for myself, and if I see any difference will write about it.

In terms of other drugs -- I've never been a big fan of coffee (caffine), and am trying a herb root from peru called Maca full of vitamins and minerals on it, but have seen no substantial effects (but I stopped taking it, may resart again and at least use up the bottle).

 

[SharinganUser]

Approaching girls is hard? You walk up to them and words come out of your mouth. I was really shy until I started using that mind frame, sometimes I walk away and I'll just be like "Wtf did I just say?"

Honestly dude, all you have to do is walk up to them and say "Hey, just thought I'd say hello." Don't worry about getting a date or a #. Just focus on taking steps up to them and say hi.

Honestly if all this hypnotic witchcraft worked as good as the late night infomercials worked, then we'd all be hugh hefners.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Try "Sound Health, Sound Wealth". You put it on while you sleep and it's great for self-confidence and motivation.

 

[Magnatolia]

martinM - The best thing would have been to ask which of them grabbed my ass with a smile of course

SharinganUser - that's a learned mindset. It's not a mindset people can simply switch on. And yeah I don't expect hypnosis to be a magic bullet. I see it as a way of diminishing the fears (which then gives me a window of opportunity to take action). Sure, some of the 'results' are simply a placebo effect yet this essentially can trick the mind into releasing the fears and whatnot. Then I can take action, even if it's small action. Eventually over time this will help to break down these fears.

everywomanshereo, thanks again for fantastic responses. I'm not a fan of drugs, and too much alcohol usually makes me tired lol.

The cold reading is a bit off. I do get along with most people, simply because I'm a friendly, easy going guy. But take a social group and there's someone who doesn't really talk to me much. At first I'll be curious as to what it is that they don't like. But I don't try and make them like me, I just be polite, say hi to them, etc.

But yeah I do tend to not take action, due to expecting a negative reaction (but it's more that I will make a fool of myself, or not know what to say, freeze up, etc). I don't get a mental image of a woman screaming at me, or anything like that. My mental image is more that I will do something wrong, screw it up. I'm not good at getting inside a persons head and connecting with them. I'm not really into the whole lieing (even when it comes to insignificant white lies to open up a conversation) and the other option is to ask questions. But seriously in a bar/night club situation what questions can you ask that will start a good convo?

Funny thing about social situations is that I'm pretty good at them. Say I'm in a group of 15-20 people at a bbq and I know the majority, on a good night I can wander around and strike up at least 5-10 different conversations. I just mingle and go from group to group. Yeah there are things that I dwell on, but not for long. Mainly when I hear a lot of them talking about some event that's on and I don't know about it. But I simply ask what's going on and it's usually an event that someone I don't know has organised and it's at their house etc.

And like one time I went by myself to a commerical street party and ended up hanging out with a total of around 10 guys throughout the day.

So yeah as you can probably tell I'm quite successfull when it comes to making friends and being social. When it comes to women and dating, it's that initial period of going from cold to rapport that holds me back and I have no idea how to overcome this.

But on a side note, if for example, someone I don't know comes up to me and starts chatting, if they're one of those people that offers quality conversation that I can work with, I'm 100% fine. But I'm not very good at taking the conversation and running with it. Like in the office, quite often the conversations are very stilted, although I am working on asking about peoples weekends, etc.

So yeah, it's something I know can be improved, I just need to know where to start. My problem too is that I am very visual learning, reading from a book generally gets me zip. But visual/hands on is really good, that's why I wanted video/audio stuff.

 

[cherry.jop07]

Dating

This was a good suggestion that you put up here...dude…..hope that it benefits all the ones who land up here.

 

[SharinganUser]

SharinganUser - that's a learned mindset. It's not a mindset people can simply switch on. And yeah I don't expect hypnosis to be a magic bullet. I see it as a way of diminishing the fears (which then gives me a window of opportunity to take action). Sure, some of the 'results' are simply a placebo effect yet this essentially can trick the mind into releasing the fears and whatnot. Then I can take action, even if it's small action. Eventually over time this will help to break down these fears.

Man, getting rid of your fears of approaching is like getting rid of your fear of swimming. You can sit on the beach all day hypnotizing yourself to eventually feel less fear so that you can eventually learn how to swim. OR you can sign up for swimming lessons and hop into water.

The point is that your fear of approaching probably coming from a lack of confidence, which stems from a lack of preparation(of something you feel insecure about). The more preparation you put into your life, the more confidence you'll have.

Don't look at approaching as just a goal, it's also a preparation for the next step,(getting a #). The more women you approach, the more prepared you'll be to meet more women.

Action is the most effective way to strip away the AFC traits you have, so take action and go up and talk to people.

 

[SinJester]

I love hypnosis. Hell it works even if it is placebo. Placebo works

I'm not telling you it will make your fears go away. But it probably will help. Here's what you should do, go out and FACE your fears and when you come home listen to some hypnosis tapes before you sleep. Best of both worlds, right? If you just keep approach you will get BETTER and BETTER at it. It has to happen. Try hypnosis, if anything it will deeply relax you. I was a little skeptical untill I tried the sphinx of imagination. The hour felt like a minute and I didn't remember most of it.

Try the Collection Of Confidence by Hynotica. It's great, it has hypnosis tracks and exercises for you to do to increase your confidence. Personal Ecology - Dr. Lloyd Glauberman also comes highly reccomended. I'm about to try that myself.

 

[Alle_Gory]

rather than drugs products which can have side-effects and go into your blood system. Believe it or not, more than just attracting women, there are some of those products for sale that can also pep up your mood like an SSRI or whatever can and doesn't lead to addictions with it. I don't know if it's true or not or if it would really work, but I think I'll investigate it, try it for myself, and if I see any difference will write about it

Yes they work. I am on St. John's Wort extract. Its for mild depression. Helps out with Serotonin levels. Definitely boosts my mood. There are no side effects. It should not be mixed with anti-depression medication.

Another is Valerian Root. Its a mild sedative. Helps to calm the nerves. Reduced anxiety for me, as well as stress in general. Its also good because you can get to sleep easier. If you take too much Valerian, it can make you MORE stressed, and anxious. Best in a moderate dosage.



Take this info or leave it.

 

[slaog]

Yes they work. I am on St. John's Wort extract. Its for mild depression. Helps out with Serotonin levels. Definitely boosts my mood. There are no side effects. It should not be mixed with anti-depression medication.

Another is Valerian Root. Its a mild sedative. Helps to calm the nerves. Reduced anxiety for me, as well as stress in general. Its also good because you can get to sleep easier. If you take too much Valerian, it can make you MORE stressed, and anxious. Best in a moderate dosage.



Take this info or leave it.

Diet can't be underestimated for it's effects on moods! Forget about drugs untill you tried eating healthier.

By changing my diet I have felt much better. Cutting down on sugary foods and processed food will have an effect I'm sure... although you may be on a downer for a few days but after that you will feel better.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Diet can't be underestimated for it's effects on moods! Forget about drugs untill you tried eating healthier.

I'm also doing that. I am on a cutting diet high in veggies, fruits and fibrous grains. But I guess I am prone to anxiety and depression. :cuss: