Husband can't get over wife's dirty porno past!!!

[LiveFreeX]

http://news.yahoo.com/husband-cant-...NwYWNlLWFzdHJvbm9teQRwdANzdG9yeXBhZ2U-;_ylv=3

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19. We got married when she was 27. We have four kids from two previous marriages.
I am devastated. When I confronted her about it, she cried harder than I had ever seen. She said she was lost, and it's the biggest regret of her entire life.
I understand how hard it can be to tell someone you have done something like this. I haven't led a perfect life either, and I have my own skeletons and things that I would never mention. But still, I can't get over this. I have never felt pain like this in my entire life and don't know what to do. I love my wife and don't want a divorce, but it haunts my every thought. We have had a great life and I trust her completely. What should I do to get over this? -- DEVASTATED IN THE U.S.A.
DEAR DEVASTATED: A giant step in the right direction would be to accept that you both had a history before you married each other, and you both have done things you aren't proud of. Then make a list of all the good things you have together, and forgive your wife for making some painful mistakes in the past that she was too ashamed to tell you. It certainly beats divorcing a woman you love over something she can't change. If that doesn't work, then you'd be wise to seek marriage counseling.

I would dump her. She hid it from him and then cried (guilt) when he found out. No amount of marriage counseling can make you forget that your wife is/was a ***** and you are the permanent sloppy seconds. I had this same problem with an ex who had 6 guys (she told me about) before me. I was always thinking about the BJs that she gave her ex's when I looked at her, yuck.

The girl I married was a virgin till she met me... have no worries or ill will against her at all.

There is a lot to be said for peace of mind.

 

[vatoloco]

I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19.

Vids or it didn't happen.

 

[foreverAFC]

w/e man that was way in the past, he should just find the videos and jerk off to them. i think most women have been filmed or photographed by someone at some point. it is what it is.

 

[btownbuck2012]

This is what happens when you live in a false reality. This is what happens when you watch romantic films and decide that's how your life is going to play out too.

Would I be hurt in this situation? Of course. BUT, that is why, at the age of 23, I've accepted that we're all human. Girls, especially attractive girls, at the age of 19 are going to have d!ck being thrown at them left and right. And more times than not, they're going to have some fun. Some f-ck around with a few guys, some take it to the opposite end of the spectrum and make porno movies.

The problem occurs when guys don't REMOVE their blinders, and decide to blissfully fantasize about their one true love. A girl that has been chaste her whole life, waiting for him to come into her life. NOT only that, but they expect this girl to be very attractive, smart, and a freak in the bedroom.

Are you freaking kidding, me? Good luck with that. We're all human, just realize that the girl you're in to probably has a past. But yeah, if my wife's past involved porno movies, I'd be ticked off too.

That's why I don't think I ever want to get married. You'll never fully know someone's past. I just couldn't trust someone to the point where I'd decide to get married to them.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Does it make any difference if she has been fvcked behind a camera or behind curtains?

I agree with btownbuck2012, its simply not worth, we are walking in a car garage where any decent car has been rented and driven from countless people many of which were good drivers while others broken brakes and wheels while doing some aerobatic on sand.

Now you are expected to get these cars for full price with huge fine in case you wanna leave them...you know what I'll be renting them and doing some rally on sand myself.

When I'll be too old for that guess I'll consider to take one of those slow cars that nobody rented or better yet stay at home instead of driving...

Just deal with the fact that all odds are against you, except if you are born gifted and you take the virginity of your first girl in her pvssy,mouth and ass, you will always get a sloppy second in case
you want to get serious with a girl.

Im fine to stay with a girl who did other things with others before me as long as Im not expected to be a svcker and pay full price for what others had for free and in better condition.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Does it make any difference if she has been fvcked behind a camera or behind curtains?

Yes it does actually. Girls in porn are known to have a much higher level of insanity in general than girls who have sex off camera like most normal people.

I remember someone posting some funny videos of girls in porn acting like exactly what they are: messed up freaks that are beyond help.

It takes a special type of personality to do porn and it is not the type you should EVER marry.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

This is what happens when you live in a false reality. This is what happens when you watch romantic films and decide that's how your life is going to play out too.

Would I be hurt in this situation? Of course. BUT, that is why, at the age of 23, I've accepted that we're all human. Girls, especially attractive girls, at the age of 19 are going to have d!ck being thrown at them left and right. And more times than not, they're going to have some fun. Some f-ck around with a few guys, some take it to the opposite end of the spectrum and make porno movies.

The problem occurs when guys don't REMOVE their blinders, and decide to blissfully fantasize about their one true love. A girl that has been chaste her whole life, waiting for him to come into her life. NOT only that, but they expect this girl to be very attractive, smart, and a freak in the bedroom.

The word in bold is that only characteristic that most men expect women to have.

There is no "laundry list" that men have. Let's be real. Women have those lists, not men.

 

[zinc4]

http://news.yahoo.com/husband-cant-...NwYWNlLWFzdHJvbm9teQRwdANzdG9yeXBhZ2U-;_ylv=3


I would dump her. She hid it from him and then cried (guilt) when he found out. No amount of marriage counseling can make you forget that your wife is/was a ***** and you are the permanent sloppy seconds. I had this same problem with an ex who had 6 guys (she told me about) before me. I was always thinking about the BJs that she gave her ex's when I looked at her, yuck.

The girl I married was a virgin till she met me... have no worries or ill will against her at all.

There is a lot to be said for peace of mind.

I don't understand this train of thought and to me it just reeks of deep seeded insecurity....why would you care who she has had sex with before????? 6 guys??? So what??? How many women have you had sex with? Is it really that different? If the girl is with you now and loves you then who cares....honestly...i would never want a virgin...because you are her only experience...seems kind of boring to me. If this guy really loves his wife and if she is really a different person now and he can trust her then he needs to chill out.........we are all human and do disgusting things in moments of weaknesses....have some freakin compassion. We are no better than anyone else.

 

[betheman]

I don't understand this train of thought and to me it just reeks of deep seeded insecurity....why would you care who she has had sex with before????? 6 guys??? So what??? How many women have you had sex with? Is it really that different? If the girl is with you now and loves you then who cares....honestly...i would never want a virgin...because you are her only experience...seems kind of boring to me. If this guy really loves his wife and if she is really a different person now and he can trust her then he needs to chill out.........we are all human and do disgusting things in moments of weaknesses....have some freakin compassion. We are no better than anyone else.

Dear God.......how are those low standards of yours working out?

 

[zinc4]

Dear God.......how are those low standards of yours working out?

My current GF has only been with 2 people...me being one of them....and i am not looking at standards...just how harshly we judge others on stuff we are not really above ourselves...

 

[betheman]

My current GF has only been with 2 people...me being one of them....and i am not looking at standards...just how harshly we judge others on stuff we are not really above ourselves...

age 16 by any chance? both of you?

 

[zinc4]

age 16 by any chance?

She's 26.....this aint about standards...it's about judjing people...me and you have completely different perspectives on the matter...

 

[zinc4]

He is married to her and supposedly really loves her.,...real unconditional love does not judge.....his problem is just getting over the mental imagery of her ****ing guys on camera...and it is bringing out his insecurities...no i wouldn't like it if was married and she told me that...but it wouldn't be because of thinking of other guys screwing her...it would be trust issues which he says he has none...so maybe i wouldn't either...i don't know her.......his problem is getting over the fact that many men have banged his wife...well, that is life....we don't own anyone.

 

[perseverance]

I swear most Pornstars are mentally ill people and not only that most have sexually transmitted infections.

The thought of having sex with a girl who has more pr*cks than a second-hand dartboard makes me feel nauseous.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If you guys think any girl is going to be honest with the amount of dudes she has slept with, I have an awesome bridge to sell you.

Just imagine what your sexual history would look like if women were constantly throwing themselves at you and offering to pay for everything... think about it for a second, and don't imagine ugly girls either. Good looking, decent, normal girls checking you out all the time willing to bang you anywhere anytime... you don't have to have a car or a job, nothing, you only have to be willing... Jedi Mind Trick material

The only way i'll believe a girl has a decent sexual history is if she is very young and lives really sheltered with strict parents or something.

Whats the number one thing a girl is worried about? People finding out what she is doing. Across the board all women have super HO Shields. Alot of PUA material is all about getting past this shield. What you think she just decided to be all secretive like this out of nowhere?

 

[SJ413]

We got married when she was 27. We have four kids from two previous marriages.

That alone is enough for me. Nope, no sir.

 

[zinc4]

His problem is that his wife has a h0rish past. No man wants a h0r for a wife.

And ALL love is conditional. If he decided to stop working and sit on the couch all day, it would not take long to see how conditional her own love is.





You are shaming a man for having standards, and calling them insecurities.

Did you know that there is precedent for divorcing a man/woman based on misrepresentation? That surely applies here.




But we do own ourselves and our standards.

Again, I give this as an example of a woman having her cake and eating it too. A large number of men took her out for a very fun test drive, yet the OP has paid full price for her via marriage. This is called "getting taken advantage of".

She was able to play her sexual market value to maximum advantage in her 20's. The OP should do the same through-out his 30's and 40's when his sexual market value peaks. Nothing could be more equal than that.

If by that definition than i am a ***** and probably are you too....so what....he says he can fully trust her...maybe he really can't i don't know...i'm just saying it's silly to worry about other people your current has been with....that just makes no sense to me...once again this guy says he is okay with her trust but he can't get over the fact that she ****ed a lot of different guys......**** man i made a ton of mistakes in my past does that brand who i am? If this guy has any suspicions of cheating than that is a different story....but that is not what he is claiming....i just don't buy into the notion that women are bad people because they ****ed a lot of guys. If i was a woman i would just have fun....damn the social restrictions and codes.

 

[5string]

I swear most Pornstars are mentally ill people and not only that most have sexually transmitted infections.

The thought of having sex with a girl who has more pr*cks than a second-hand dartboard makes me feel nauseous.

This guy get's it! ^^^^^

She should have told him before the ceremony. If my wife were to tell me at this point that she had done something like that, even though in her past and it can't be changed, she'd be gone.

I could not get over something like this.

There are limits.

 

[zinc4]

This guy get's it! ^^^^^

She should have told him before the ceremony. If my wife were to tell me at this point that she had done something like that, even though in her past and it can't be changed, she'd be gone.

I could not get over something like this.

There are limits.

Would you do the same to your daughter or son? I am talking about real love....i have no idea if the guy really loves his wife or not...but pure love is unconditional. I was married before and i can honestly say i didn't really love her...i thought i did at the time...but i realize now it was BS...

 

[5string]

Would you do the same to your daughter or son? I am talking about real love....i have no idea if the guy really loves his wife or not...but pure love is unconditional. I was married before and i can honestly say i didn't really love her...i thought i did at the time...but i realize now it was BS...

Yes. I don't believe in unconditional love.

Trash is what trash does.