Hurting right now

[decades]

two words. no contact. this woman has been poison for you. she "plays" you like a fiddle. you have been beaten here and the only way to win is to exit and rebuild and learn from it. you met up with a not so great woman and were slow to figure that out. you got oneitis before you really knew her. learn from this so you never have to go through it again. learn how to recognize these women. its not so hard once you've earned your stripes and you will have earned them when you get through this. let go. she is trouble and you go No Contact with her and her family. You made a mistake by taking this case, and that was approval seeking. You thought by helping her it would improve your chances with her. We've all done that man. No more contact with this person.

regards

 

[decades]

I agree. We do need to know "some" things about a woman's past but we need to be subtle about it. The past is a good predictor of the present so it is valid to find out certain things. DJs want to have it both ways though. They want a hor in the bedroom but they don't want her to have slept around. DJs don't want the good girl because the good girl won't roll in the hay on the second date. Djs need to know themselves better and realize there are consequences for sleeping around and falling for a woman who does likewise.

regards

Because a perrson's past is a fair predictor on a person's future. People all carry baggage and repeat old patterns. Old habits die hard. Why do you think companies do background checks?

If she's a lying cheat when you met her, she'll probably lie and cheat on you too... Deuurr?

Anyways, drop the oneitis already and move on. That is the solution to 90% of all bych problems.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo PE,


Good words of wisdom. Especially your last post hinting at the lurking hypocrisy hidden just underneath the surface of most guys' lifestyle. It's the whole Madonna/Whoare syndrome. Most of the time, the cost of having a sexually skilled woman is the knowledge that your's is NOT the first Dyck she's rode and sucked.

Usually, you are just the latest of MANY...

 

[resilient]

Great responses guys I learned a lot from this thread. It's such a positive thing to know we have the healthy option of walking away that to which is toxic for our emotional well-being. As well as knowing as we self-improve so does our options.

I have less hang ups presently about sex than when I started a year ago. I learned to have that don't ask / don't tell mentality. What a man does in the bedroom should be private and not shared with roommate, friends.

The past is past amigo. Once you realize you're diligently living in the present, those exs and past lovers of hers don't matter. Be happy that you're the next pimp in line, and for DJ's sake don't get attached unless you're positive you're ready again for LTR and/or marriage.

A man has to constantly learn to detach himself and think clearly without mixed emotions after sealing the deal.

The rest is smoke and mirrors.

Good luck Yendor. I learned a lot from your question threads that always had quality feedback of wisdom from mature djs.

Wisdom to me is being able to receive feedback, know how to make effective decisions and act upon it. The worse thing we could do is seek help, but do nothing about our outcome.