"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Humor

backbreaker

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i just realized something

earlier today we at lunch with some friends, i'm sitting there, and seriously just being me. the topic of food came up, and we started talking about food iwe liked that we have recently tried and i started talking about these nachos at this particular mexican resturant which are just freaking awesome. i love nachos, it's hard to **** up nachos. even taco bell's nachos are good. anyway, i' talking and i'm trying to explain to everyone like 10 of us in all like you know, it's good, and you eat it and you are happy then just when you think you got enough BAM it's a different layer, of goodness.

i mean i wasn't being serious but wasn 't trying to be funny, yet i had everyhone at the table crying. then this one girl was talking about this guys house she went over on a date and she got mad because he was trying get some, and then i was trying to explain the 10 o clock rule to her, every guy here knows what the 10 o clock rule is and the fact htat in explaining the 10 o clock rule you are explainig to her that she has to live up to her end of the bargin and the code there is between men and women, ther are things you odn't do, if i a on a date, and it's 11 o clock and i ask ou to come up stairs, and you say okay, right then and there, you have agreed to **** me. it's just that simple. see at 8 oclock, we could talk about music or cook dinner, but i mean at 10 oclock, you are saying hey the only thing we can possibly do this late is ****, so i was trying to explain how she broke the code and she owes him an apology

i went to the bathroom and came back and i overheard one of the girls talking to my girl and she said "that's part of his charm". Then it hit me.

i'm ****ing funny. I guess this is something i have taken so much for granted i don't pay attention to, or i assume everyone is funny, but i guess not.
i don't say this to brag, i say this to say, you know, i'm good looking, i have some money, i have some "game" but none of that had everyones attention at that table like me being able to make everyone laugh, without even really trying.
i got to reflecting on it on the way home i found it interesting. you know what can you do in a group of people, pull out your bank statement lol? pull out **** pics with a ruler showing how big you are?

there is no doubt in my mind i could have hooked up with every last woman at that table had i chosen (much to the dislike of the other guys there).

i can't really tell you how to be funny, that's like saying how to be stupid, you either are or you aren't i suppose, but i know it's something you can work on and i think it gets neglected when dealing with the opposite sex. and when you are being funny, you are naturally showing ****iness. I remember one girl i hooked up with a while back told me i was a little arrogant and she loved it.


lol i remember when i was 21 my friend hooked me up with this girl. i had plates out the ass at this point, we met at a bar, she thought iwas cute, i thought she was cute, she tried to play ahrd to get, i said ***** i got women to see. she made up some excuse about going to a wedding but agreed to come over my house that night, it was a saturday.

she shows up at about 11pm lol. so i put my arm around her after like 30 minutes of talking and i'mt rying to take it there. i' horny and it's midnight by now. i can tell she wasn't really feeling it at that point. so i got a call about an hour late from one of my real plates and say i have to split, i have better things to do.

so the next day she tells my best friend i'm too pushy and i was moving too fast, his lol, exact words were "dude you showed up at 11pm what the **** did you expect!?. what sane woman shows up at a guys house at 11pm, then gets mad when he tires to **** her lmao, ***** get the **** out my house. man everyone knows that 10 oclock rule. my 10 oclock rule extends to phone conversations as well, even my old oneitis knew that hey i will talk to you but don't call me after 10 oclock unless you are fingering yourself or something... which she would do on occasion lol.
 
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"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Diaforetikos

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That's all charm man. Humor is so powerful. It's having the skull to be witty, and daring all in one sentence.

I'm like you, nautrally funny. It's hard not to toss out jokes. I hang around funny people too, so that's all we do. We attract girls left and right. But our game is never strong enough to hook the girls. I'm learning though.

Let this marinate in all you current mindset seekers of what it takes to be a true DJ. Humor is powerful, don't neglect it.
 

Bible_Belt

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when you are being funny, you are naturally showing ****iness


In one of his very old routines from 1982 that was recorded at night clubs and made into a tape (yes, a "tape"), Eddie Murphy had one of his jokes bomb at first. It was about the Chinese restaurant having a sign up that said "Chopsticks - $.29 - What a bargain!" Nobody laughed, at first, and when he saw that no one was laughing, he stopped and said:

"I don't care. I think the sh!t is funny."

That is the summation of why being funny is being ****y. You are sharing with people what you yourself find to be humorous, and if they don't get it, then too bad for them.
 

PokerStar

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and to add to this..

make sure they are laughing with you not at you.
 

War Against Betaism

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When I used to be really really religious, I was on the altar and they were asking everyone what they thought god brought them here for. I said "I honestly feel God brought me here to make people laugh." No one disputed it, everyone thinks I'm hilarious. People love people that make them laugh, so automatically when you're in a group you'll be thought of in high praises...unless you're the pick dog and jester.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Powerlifter

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I locked my keys in the car yesterday it was OK I was still in it I finally got out by using a coat hanger.

The candle factory burned down last night and everyone just stood around and sang happy birthday.

I bought some batteries but they weren't included.

Steven Wright's quotations are the best it's the way my sense of humor is and I tend to attract the prettiest babes.

Powerlifter
 

backbreaker

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more than anything i learned that humor is a great what is the word i'm looking for, screener if that makes any sense.

we were with some friends a few nights ago and talking about up coming big races, and some dumbass was talking about lookin at lucky would be 3.5 in the breeders cup classic which would put him at about 2nd choice in a 14 horse field.

I told him that he would have to pull a phar lap on the the rest of the field for that to happen. for reference purposes, someone tried to kill phar lap before the Melbourne cup, thankfully unsuccessfully.

Now, i think that was funny. a little riskee but funny nevertheless. this **** said 'that was really rude and you are really insensitive'. i told her she was more than entitled to her opinion but you know what lol, i didn't mean any thing by it and i think it's funny. but you know what else, if i were single she would have just disqualified herself for not being able to take a ****ing joe.

who wants do deal with a prude regardless of how cute they are?
 

ArcBound

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Not humor alone but the art of story telling. A couple funny stuff happened my first year of college which I can now tell to my friends. When you start drawing them into your story you feel their attention get more focused and you build them up and throw the punch line/funny part. For some reason one liners or short jokes don't seem to work so well with me. It's just the way you frame stories and exxagerate things that makes it awesome and draws people in.
 
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