"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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how'd my date go?

tony-montana

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when we first met at the train station... she came up to me and hugged me straight away.. which i wasn't expecting. anyway, we talked ALOT. i think the date was like at least 2 hours? we went on a ferris wheel.. i gave her a back massage on there lol.. cause i use to do massage theraphy for a living... she loved it. we had many giggles n laughs. however it was pretty boring i think. i really like her. she's nice n all but i was tryin hard to find things to talk about ... and im not sure if shes into me now. i did kino alot. touched her shoulders a couple times (apart from the massage which was like 5 mins) - i think we walked around the city for about n hour. including the time we stopped at a food court and had a drink. then we headed back to her car. she took me home (to where im staying with my friends - im on holidays btw) its about a 30 min drive. she offered too.

anyway when she came in the house i introduced her to my friend n his gf. went in my room sat on the bed for about 10 mins... talking and laughing. she asked for the bathroom so i guided her touching her shoulder pointing where it is. i tried doing kino alot cause i heard that shows you're interested in a way. after 10 mins she said "well i better get going" and "yeah if you're not doing anything durin the week or whatever let me know."

now i walked her out to her car... i wanted to hug her n kiss her goodbye. but she opened her car door and went in (she was infront of me) - but she wind her window down and i leaned on the car looking inside and told her i had a good time she told me the same... anyway i just went for a kiss and kissed her cheek. she said "awww" n we said our byes.

that was it. i dont think shes interested sexually or anything. but shes the kinda girl i see me dating. i wasnt in it for sex anyway... im lookin for a gf.

i dunno... im just not the type of guy who is crazy n talks alot. im a quiet kinda guy. she talked alot more than i did. but i threw in some laughs here n there. meh :/

p.s.; should i txt her saying i had a good time or is that too desperate. what if she msgs me on msn (shes on now) saying she enjoyed it do i reply?
 

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Cure

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tony-montana said:
that was it. i dont think shes interested sexually or anything. but shes the kinda girl i see me dating. i wasnt in it for sex anyway... im lookin for a gf.

stop making excuses and man up. or are you seriously telling me you are looking for a girl friend who doenst want sex? I cant help but think that you are simply trying to justify a lack of opportunities and sex.
Every post of yours I read seems to be a pessimistic acceptance of your lack of success with women, followed by an attempte to justify it with "oh im not looking for sex" or "I could have had X sex but choose not to.. Im not that kind of guy"

If you dont want to have sex with women, why are you on this forum?

If you do want to have sex with women, stop beating yourself up about it, stop justifying your lack of sucess and start focusing on improving yourself. Of course women wont be interested in you if you start of acting like a chump and telling yourself its ok. Read up on inner game to boost your self esteem. Stuff like conversation skill is somthing you can work on later.

In response to your actual post.
finding things to talk about takes practice but you can immprove.
What I somtimes do is make a list of topics to talk about. say 10 or so, for example, a film i saw recently, an interesting/funny thing I saw in the news recently, a story somone told me that was entertaining. somthing amaxzing I saw recently.
once you've figured these things out, dont use them unless you have to. they are you well planned back up converstion peices for when you run out of things to say. Try it.

Good luck mate, and sorry to be harsh on you but it seems like you need it.

Cure
 

She_feelin_Me

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You do have to open up more...no one wants to go out and deal with someone that laughs all night with a little small talk on the side...You should be the one talking more and getting to know her. So many things to talk about and yes why are you just looking for a gf? I mean having sex is the first part when finding a mate well for me it is. I cant have a gf that cant **** or suck,lol for real!

If I was you I would set up another get together and Invite her over to the house to watch a movie. Just yall two in the room. Make sure you have rubbers handy.
 

scrouds

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Ummm, if i get my date and myself in a room alone with a bed.... that's a total green light I'm getting sex.

She left when you didn't make a move. If i'm reading it right you had 20 mintues to snuggle up next to her and plant one on her.

Everything else was ok, cause hey, she basically volunteered herself to come home with you HELLO!
 

Captain

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tony-montana said:
anyway when she came in the house i introduced her to my friend n his gf. went in my room sat on the bed for about 10 mins... talking and laughing. she asked for the bathroom so i guided her touching her shoulder pointing where it is. i tried doing kino alot cause i heard that shows you're interested in a way. after 10 mins she said "well i better get going" and "yeah if you're not doing anything durin the week or whatever let me know."
She ended the date, and there was no kissing (cheek doesn't count.) You should have made a move in the bedroom.

that was it. i dont think shes interested sexually or anything. but shes the kinda girl i see me dating. i wasnt in it for sex anyway... im lookin for a gf.
Don't lie to yourself, you want sex, you just fear rejection. Besides, women want sex, and if you aren't turning them on, they won't stick around.

If you have another date you need to escalate FAST, or it's permanent friendzone for you (if you aren't there already.)

The general rule is: if you have to ask if the date went well, it didn't go well.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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