how?

[SnowBlind77]

How do i become the guy everyone wants to be around? How do i become that entertaining guy? How do i be that guy thats chick swoon over? How do i get people to care and LISTEN to what i say rather than just ignoring the words that come out of my mouth? How do i become that guy of importance and status?

please help, and if youre just gonna bash me and call me a retard please dont even waste your time, im looking to change my life for the better, and that wont help me at all.

 

[Prof]

My friend explained to me how he did this a little bit. Basically, he lied his pants off. The guy's a serious con artist when it comes to social situations. I don't think he's ever used his 'artistry' to steal anything, though. Just to get the word out that he's a cool guy.

So here's the problem with that. He's not been that successful with the ladies on this campus. (Which, really, is the end goal of all things, isn't it? ) There can be many reasons for this. For one, there's just not many womenfolk around here (the ratio at my college, guys to girls, is between 7:1 and 10:1.) Another's that the guy's pretty overweight, his mental 'issues', or any of another personal problems. I, personally, believe it's all in your head - which is the crux of my point, I think.

To get people to want to be around you, you need to exude comfort with your surroundings by means of easy-confidence, a good social base, and general comfort with wherever you happen to be. One trick is to show up where ever you're going to be 'social' early and get comfortable with the scenery, ambience, and people. (This last point was proved for me last night on a date. I showed up to the restaurant about 7-10 minutes before she did, thus I was comfortable with the surroundings and the waitress.)

Further, you need to be buying your own product to the point it rubs off on other people. By this I mean it's okay to be a little over the top on believing in yourself. Sure there's a lot to be said for complete and utter honesty, but 'faking' your confidence is one of the easiest ways of gaining true, deep confidence. Plus, last I knew, there's no law against faking confidence

A word, though. I'm no specialist. This is all based off what's worked for me. The girl I was with last night really seemed to dig my natural confidence which I garnished after following what I preached here. (As well as those bathroom mirror-self-pep talks!) Further, I didn't have an end goal in mind when I went out on the date with her. Sure, sex is always a beautiful thing to aspire for - but that doesn't mean it must be hoarded after like a fat 12 year old after his chocolate bar.

Aye, I'm on little sleep. I think I've got a complete thought there but if not someone should/probably will correct me.

You're not a 'retard' for starting down the path, though.

 

[Delta]

a big problem is that you want people to care and listen to what you have to say.

who the fvck are you?

you are putting the emphasis on yourself. think how attractive a self centered and selfish person comes off to you. you are seeking validation and approval and acclaim and glory... you are a NEGATIVE FORCE in the room trying to suck out all the energy for yourself.

this is why you fail.

go the other way.

be SELF - LESS. GIVE instead of take. put out instead of take in. examine your motivations and say things that contribute to the fun, not bring attention to yourself. make another feel better. say something funny for the benefit of others and not yourself.

interactions with women can be more nuanced but generally, if you have a simple social problem, the issue is because you are being selfish.

delta