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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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How You Think Changes the Whole Ball Game

Nocturnal

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*Note* This is a modified version of my post located here.

Part 1: Perception and Working for Our Feelings, Intelligence, and Instincts

To become a DJ we must first be aware of our surroundings and how we perceive them.

Perception is everything. Children are a great example of this, you tell them the sky is made of marshmallows and they'll believe you because they have to perceive SOMETHING other than NOTHING or what are they left with? Abstract thinking, which I believe is inconceivable.

If someone sees something I call a zugalot, they're going to accept that it's a zugalot unless they have reason to believe otherwise (i.e. encountering multiple things that are already classified). If I weren't there to tell them it was a zugalot, they would have to come up with something to call it themselves.

That person would probably look for characteristics they could define, such as color, smell, shape, size, and most importantly resemblance to something else. i.e., if it looked like a tree they might call it treedo.

Where do they get the "-do" from? It’s not abstract if you thought I was going to say that. The "-do" is of the alphabet, and other words have the letters "do" in them. If that information was not there the person would not have thought up the "-do". Why might you add the "-do"? To differentiate between the tree and treedo is a good reason.

Imagine this though; there is nothing that could possibly be resembled. You have no childhood, one day you just appear in the world. And there are no surroundings. You have no senses, there is nothing to see, nothing to hear, taste, smell or touch. Your mind exists alone. Your mind absorbs zero information.

With these conditions, what thoughts can be processed? Well there is nothing to process.

The youngest children rely on feelings, and instinct.

I believe there are three things humans react to:

Feelings

Instincts

Intelligence

Instinct is simply one thing: The feeling or urge that a certain action must be taken. This action can only be done in certain surroundings. I.e. if you had an instinct to pull bananas off of their trees, this instinct wouldn't apply where there were no bananas.

In our world where there are no feelings, and no surroundings, instinct is non-existent.

Feelings can't really be broken down any further than the ideas of emotions and the fact that it is purely psychological (as are instinct and intelligence). The brain senses emotions and tells the body to feel them. Where do they start? Surroundings. If your bed is warm you will feel it. If you discover you won a million dollars, you'll feel happy. What if you had no surroundings? Where do your feelings come from? No senses, no interaction with another world. There would be no feelings. In our closed off world, feelings are eliminated.

Last is intelligence. How does intelligence come about? Babies do not react on intelligence. It is only when they become older and parents enforce certain ideas that they learn that thing A does this because ___ and that can help me in this situation because _____. In that case I’ll use thing A. I theorize that the smarter the animal, the less instinct and feeling are relied on. And the more instinct and feeling are relied on, the less intelligence is. Babies do not know to do anything other than what they are told by people the feel trust for and comfort from. Their feelings guide intelligence, and intelligence cannot exist without feeling. Thus since we eliminated feelings above, intelligence is also eliminated.
 

Nocturnal

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Part 2: Perception and Value

What do you have left to react on now? All three things are gone. You cannot react, and if you can't react to something there is no growth. Growth only occurs when there is a reason for it. If you nurture and water a plant it will grow, if you choose not to water it then it will not grow. If you struggle catching up to your prey, your body will evolve to increase your speed. Your speed doesn't increase "just because".

There is a cause for every effect. You are closed off now with no causes for any effects. No effects take place. What will happen? Nothing. No growth, nothing at all.

So why do we want growth? To interact better with our surroundings. Our surroundings correlate very well to our growth. Why do we want to interact better with our surroundings?

This will enhance our feelings, instincts, and intelligence. Those 3 things govern our bodies and minds. They control what we do for their own satisfaction.

However we are a part of them, and they are a core part of us. Everything we do affects them and anything positively affecting them positively affects us, since they govern us.

We have no will to just die, so we value them not negatively but positively. they don’t want to die so our intelligence says "we're valuable" and our feelings say "we make you feel good" and instincts say "our race has evolved for many years, I know what’s best for you I’ve been through those years." we have no choice but to agree with them, because there is nothing else to convince us otherwise. The only other option we have is suicide.

*quick note* I’m not encouraging suicide and saying your brain is plotting against you.

Everything we interact with we place some sort of value on, and that’s where our perception comes into play.

If I offered you either a hundred dollars or a thousand dollars at no cost, what would you take? The thousand dollars is valued higher because it can satisfy more of our feelings, instincts, and intelligence (from this point forwards I’ll call those "FII").

We have to pick between two options, live or die. Since you are reading this you are obviously alive and don’t want to die, so in that case you agree with your FII that you need to satisfy them.

As I said before, we place value on everything. The kid riding his bike on the sidewalk has little value, being that it has value in that it's part of society, and POTENTIALLY could be of more value if certain things were to happen.

Potential value is a big one here. If I were to trip and fall and break my neck while no one else was around, this kid could save my life. In this case his value would be extremely high. However if he just rode on past and nothing happened to me the value would be low. But potential value doesn't change.

The higher value we perceive things, the more we will satisfy our FII. In this case, we want to put as much value on things as possible since we are working together with our FII to please them (so we will be pleased).

If you give a child chocolate for the first time, he's not going to perceive its minimum value. He’s going to love it, and if you tell him that he can only have it once a year, he's going to value it even higher. The value we place on things is lowered the more access we have to it, since we don't have to go to as great lengths to acquire it as if it were always present.

I love using children as examples when it comes to human nature because they haven't yet been educated by society to think certain ways. Children will value things however you tell them to, because they feel devotion and trust to you. Adults have already been told how to value things, whether it was in words or actions. Children can view a new bed as highly as we would view a million dollars for free, or as lowly as we view dirt. This is the capability of mankind's perceptions.

Let me explain it this way. If every person you met on the street was "stupid" until you got to know them, you wouldn't be a friendly person and you wouldn't be pleasing you FII. If your perceptions were that every human being was great, and you valued them highly enough to be very excited and happy and friendly around them, you WOULD be pleasing your FFI and things would be going better.

What’s the difference? Perception. That is how much it can change things.

I’m going to bring up another point, relativity. Everything is relative. Repeat that a few times. If you view all humans 10X better than John does, your perceptions for each individual will still be different. If a girl has a softer voice than another girl, even though you might adore both of them, you will place higher value on the one with the softer voice.

This is how we strive to improve. Even if you have $10 mil, that's not much compared to bill gates. If everyone had bill gate's money, the economy would change and you would be considered poor.

This is why we try to go for better, no matter how good what he have already is. Values drop as their relative value to other things drops. If you can control your perceptions to things to where the effect relative value has on actually value is limited, you'll be in great shape.

Let’s talk about one way of getting around that. It’s called diversity. If all the girls you dated looked closely the same, had the same accent, enjoyed the same things, etc, their relative value would be about the same. Their actual value would drop because that type of girl would be easily accessible. Now let’s say a girl from another country comes along, looks different, different accent, enjoys completely different things. Her value is going to skyrocket because she is so diverse from the rest.

Ever hear of supply/demand? If something is easily accessible its value drops. The more the supply outweighs the demand, the more accessible something will be.

The more of these "special" girls you find, the more accessible they will be and the lower both their relative and actual value will be.

Diversity is very important in our lives. It allows the demand to go up, but in many cases we control the supply, so we control the value on our lives.

By becoming a diverse person, by becoming DIFFERENT from other people, by finding diverse people and items, the value your FII places on your life will be much greater at much lower cost.

Ever wonder why they say "be different?" this is as good a reason as any.

The way you perceive things will change the value you place on them. So let me ask you this one final question:

Are your feelings, instincts and intelligence telling you to acquire the more or less valuable?

If you are a diverse person, you will be successful with women. If you are different from other men (not negatively), women will see you as a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and there will most likely be none other like you they come across again.

www.sosuave.com is not only about getting women. Maybe that’s the core part that gives it substance, but countless people have changed their lives through this website, so take it a step further by making your life the best possible.
 

Nocturnal

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Part 3: Molding Yourself to Fit Your Desires

Now that you know that you operate to please your FII, you can begin the process of changing yourself to fit what you really want.

People want happy lives. Yet they are sad. People want to be physically appealing. Yet they are repulsive. People want talent. Yet they are untalented.

See where I’m going? How many times have you seen the man at McDonalds who looks like he’s eaten one-too-many cheeseburgers, the chair bulging under his weight? Does he wish to live such a life? Does he really enjoy being this way? Perhaps there are some, but I’m willing to bet most people suffering from obesity wish the problem to go away. But do they take initiative to fix it?

Often, no.

How many men do you know that would like to look like that model on a weightlifting magazine, wishing to look more muscular and appealing? How about the people who suffer in their marriages, and yet do nothing to fix them?

If you’re getting tired of me leading you on, what I’m getting at is that people often find it easier to complain than to focus on the problem itself.

How many people do you know that just seem boring? They have a dull life and they know it, but they don’t choose to do anything to make it any better.

Before you can consciously change yourself, you need one thing. Motivation. The desire to change. You have to have a reason to use all that energy and time. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, just that you really want to change. It has to justify the process of getting there. It takes limited effort to complain, but it’s a full-fledged project to go through with fixing the problem.

If they guy who eats too much complains all the time, he obviously wishes he didn’t have the problem. But humans are great at fathoming new thoughts and possible outcomes. People can visualize the vaporization of an entire city beginning with a firecracker. Of course, reality doesn’t always fit with our “visualizations”. People can imagine the outcome of an action to be much worse than possible. This creates fear of taking that action, and they can hold themselves back from doing great things.

Perhaps the obese man decides to himself that the end result of going through the process to lose the weight is not worth it. Exercising daily and maintaining a healthy diet for that much time is just “too much”. He visualizes that the process is very tedious and much worse than it actually is. It could be pretty bad, and perhaps he is happy enough as he is, so he doesn't see the point of going through with the change.

So before you decide to change yourself, you have to plan out the process needed to make that change. Then decide if it’s all worth it. Often immediate situations prevent us from taking a beneficial action. For example, most people wouldn’t approach a random woman on the street because it would be leaving their “comfort zone”. However, you probably know that this is very justifiable after getting great results with women, by simply stepping out of your comfort zone.

Once you have good reason to make the change, you have to really decide how you’re going to get it done. Go into detail, if you want to “become muscular” then do some research and devise a plan that will fit to your schedule and needs most efficiently.

Efficiency is key in most effectively completing a change/goal, and using minimal resources (time, money etc). This way the compromise of making the change is more appealing and is worth it.

If we want to become something, be it humorous, intelligent or anything else as far as characteristics of personality go, the mind will take us there if we have the proper motivation. If you consciously try to be funny around people, your mind will subconsciously note what people like and what they don’t, and will help you in changing your humor to fit what is “funny”.

The main idea is, if you really want to change, you will find a way to get there.
 

Create Reality

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This seems like very good advice from someone who knows what they are talking about, and I might read the whole thing sometime when I'm feeling down in the dumps.
 

Addicted

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"If you give a child chocolate for the first time, he's not going to perceive its minimum value. He’s going to love it, and if you tell him that he can only have it once a year, he's going to value it even higher. The value we place on things is lowered the more access we have to it, since we don't have to go to as great lengths to acquire it as if it were always present."

thats a bloody good point...
 

Ashkon

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this was written well enough that deserves my well-done.
 

Duke

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BRAVO!

Nocturnal, where did you go, man???
Ashkon, props for bumping this thread!

There is so much FRESH material and wisdom in this thread! Where do I start?

Originally posted by Nocturnal
Part 2: Perception and Value
Let me explain it this way. If every person you met on the street was "stupid" until you got to know them, you wouldn't be a friendly person and you wouldn't be pleasing you FII. If your perceptions were that every human being was great, and you valued them highly enough to be very excited and happy and friendly around them, you WOULD be pleasing your FFI and things would be going better.
Aha! I believe Senor Fingers exemplifies this example. He stresses the need to be genuinely interested in learning about people. He views people as a new opportunity to learn and have fun. I've taken this mindset, too, and it's wonderful.

Originally posted by Nocturnal
Part 3: Molding Yourself to Fit Your Desires
Before you can consciously change yourself, you need one thing. Motivation. The desire to change. You have to have a reason to use all that energy and time. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, just that you really want to change. It has to justify the process of getting there. It takes limited effort to complain, but it’s a full-fledged project to go through with fixing the problem.
ABSOLUTELY. That fact hit me in the face yesterday. Motivation is the most important ingredient. Do you want it bad enough? Are you hungry for it? You must visualize your goal and the results of that goal-- how you will feel, how your image will change in other people's eyes, what skills you will aquire.
You must also consider what it will take to get there-- planning, discipline, dedication, consciousness of your behavior.

The main idea is, if you really want to change, you will find a way to get there.
Again, dead on. This is an overlooked fact because of its obviousness. People think "Yeah, I know that already, but..."
No! You don't! Re-read and apply! If you want it bad enough, you will do it. Motivate yourself by any means possible!
 

LikRetsam

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Interresting. It lacks a bit of organization though. The essay doesn't seem to flow smoothly. Otherwise, interresting.
 

Duke

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bump
 

Duke

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A bump for this excellent thread, which, oddly enough, I read a couple weeks before my first big in-field success.
 

October

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Bump. Nice post.
 
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