"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How you gonna act?

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nickeldime

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Hi, i've been visiting these forums for a while now but never really bothered to register or post cause most of my questions and thoughts would usually be expressed by someone else.

So here is my post to start me off here..

Recently I just broke up with this girl..pretty short relation..not even 2 weeks...and she told me she dont like me in that way no more..but wanna stay friends cause she really enjoyed talking to me and stuff..blah blah..and yeah..
so about 2 days after we broke up..she started talkin to me online and all...

Obviously I still like her and would wanna be with her..but thats not the case for her..but I dont wanan brush away a potential friendship that could lead to me getting back with her..ofcourse...if imma stay friends with her it'd only be in hope that she'd fall for me again and we'd be together..but it wouldnt work if it was only a one way ride. I'm contemplating..having conflicting thoughts and feelings..I wanna be friends..but it would hurt to know that all I'd ever end up being would be friends..and if i stayed friends..i'd wanna give her the feeling that..i'm happy and fine with or without her...and shes missin out on a gd deal right hurr..

So what should i Do..?
talk to her casually..?
i mean right now i'm only talkin to her when she talks to me..online that is..since i rarely see her at school as i'm on study leave..and shes in a grade below..so yeah..hmm

thanks guys.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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R

Rythm

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I am kind of in the same situation. I have just told the girl goodbye for good. The only time I talk to her is random occurances in person. I dont talk to her when she calls or if I see her online. Hey and a thing about the online thing. I personally dont like aim at all. I might get on for 2 minutes a day, but anything more than ten or so I think girls might see as being readily available. Maybe thats just how I think though... But hey I say you next the girl, its the only way to save your feelings.
 
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nickeldime

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yeah but then she told me 'lets end it'
coz her feelings faded..but she said i was the best b/f shes had and that kinda stuff..
haha
the way i said bye..was pretty..gd in my opinion..
i hugged her...i asked her...'did you like it when i held u againest me like this?'
'yeah...'
and i gave her a kiss on the cheek and i asked her 'did u like it when i kissed u like that?'
again she replied 'yeah'
and i asked her 'did u like it when we kissed' as in ..made out ..and she said..yeah...
and i gave her a kiss on the forehead and left by saying...in a low and calm voice..sorry for ever liking you..and i walked off...haha

but man...how often am i gonna come across such a fine chick..who had a great personality to compliment her looks and body..its rare..and she wanted to keep us friends coz she really enjoyed talkin to me..its complicated..
 
J

JSH

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Well, typicla advice off these forums is, do not get into the friends zone to hope you can get together. Talking of getting abck together, to me that sounds like a risky strategy unless you dig the chick as friends. If you just want to go out with her it will be hard. I love habving mates like that but if you go in just for the poon you will get burned.


Roll with the punches
 
L

LikRetsam

Master Don Juan
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You want her as a girlfriend. She doesn't want to give you that. You arn't givng anything else.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jerky Boi

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As rarely as this situation comes up, I've been in your shoes a few times. There's really no hurt in keeping her as a friend at all. Just always remember, don't let her know that you're hurting because she broke up with you. Distance yourself from her, maybe even going out with a few different girls. Give her the vibe that she's missing out and she might have made a mistake by letting you know :] You'll still have her as a friend and who knows, she might start liking you again.
 
L

Luscious

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Originally posted by nickeldime

I'm contemplating..having conflicting thoughts and feelings..I wanna be friends..but it would hurt to know that all I'd ever end up being would be friends..and if i stayed friends..i'd wanna give her the feeling that..i'm happy and fine with or without her...and shes missin out on a gd deal right hurr..

So what should i Do..?
talk to her casually..?
i mean right now i'm only talkin to her when she talks to me..online that is..since i rarely see her at school as i'm on study leave..and shes in a grade below..so yeah..hmm

thanks guys.
Click to expand...
You DON'T want to be 'friends' after a breakup, because then you get back together, and break up again, and then get back together...etc. etc. Trust me on that one.
Once you've broken up, there's no recapturing the trust and feeling there was. Sad, but true.

What you do now is find a new girl, or just fly it solo with your buddies. For god's sake don't chill with her after you've broken up with her - it gives everyone the impression you're in search of a pair of testicles, but you aren't. You have them - now use them. Just stop talking to her. IF SHE IS MISSING OUT ON THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD (YOU), THEN LET HER REALIZE IT ON HER OWN.

In the meantime, since you ARE a great guy, you're going to hit on her friends :D.
 
K

kave

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Remember u dont need her the women need you..you shouldnt waste ur time on a girl u know u cant have and if u do it will most likey fail again..so move on and use ur dj'ing on someone else
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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