How would you respond to this?

[Genos]

A girl I was with a while ago sent me this message: "But I am allowed to miss you?"

The last time we spoke, I basically wished her well, but also said that there's not much point in us writing to each other as we used to.

The question seemed odd to me...why would you need to ask permission? If you want to miss someone, you kinda just do it right? I didn't consider not replying - it just seemed a bit cruel, and even if it was the best thing to do, it's not really in my nature to ignore someone unless I had good reason. She was a very feminine, kind woman actually.

I didn't really know what she was thinking (I was also a bit skeptical and found it a little hard to believe) or how to respond, but I just took the 'safe' route and messaged back "I'm not sure what you mean?" Since then (probably about a month ago), she hasn't replied.

I've been thinking about things, and am looking for some insight. She's certainly gotten into my head (if that was her objective, she did it haha); I don't want to get her back or anything - rather, I'd like to know how you guys would have elegantly handled the situation.

What could she have been thinking? My honest opinion was that she was just feeling lonely at the moment, I don't think she knew what she was saying - and it'd be best for both of us to move on. Should I have just conveyed that to her? Was I too passive in my reply (and thus hurt her)? Any insight is much appreciated.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Bait to catch an orbiter. Knowing how things go now, I wouldn't have replied.

If a chick misses u, u will know it! Don't fall for words and text

 

[Genos]

That could certainly be true. However, given how our last interaction went, and in general the kind of woman she is, I'm doubtful that she's just trying to get an orbiter.

You mentioned that if a chick misses you, you'll know it...isn't this her reaching out and letting me know? She's currently out of the country, so the only way she can communicate is through writing.

Again, don't want to get her back or anything...I'm simply wondering how y'all would've responded in this kind of situation (assuming she's not just looking for an orbiter).

 

[El Payaso]

Everything a woman does is to get your attention. It doesn't matter what kind of attention it is; whether positive or negative or neutral.

When you freeze them out, they will look for an excuse no matter how ridiculous to see you or talk to you or text you.

An ex texted a friend of mine after two months of breaking up and no contact to tell him he left a pack of gum in her car. A pack of gum!!

Their contact isn't designed to make sense. It's just meant to get a response from you with many choosing to ignore you once they get their satisfaction.

Some come outright and say they miss you. It varies.

Next time, just ignore, delete and put them on a block list.

 

[logicallefty]

"That's a silly question. If I wasn't stuck with myself every single day, I would start to miss me too"

 

[Julian]

"yeah u can miss this d1ck"

 

[Bible_Belt]

As soon as I have to spend more than a second thinking about the meaning of something a woman said, I just ignore her. It's a lot easier that way.

 

[Genos]

Everything a woman does is to get your attention. It doesn't matter what kind of attention it is; whether positive or negative or neutral.

When you freeze them out, they will look for an excuse no matter how ridiculous to see you or talk to you or text you.

An ex texted a friend of mine after two months of breaking up and no contact to tell him he left a pack of gum in her car. A pack of gum!!

Their contact isn't designed to make sense. It's just meant to get a response from you with many choosing to ignore you once they get their satisfaction.

Some come outright and say they miss you. It varies.

Next time, just ignore, delete and put them on a block list.

Your reasoning makes a ton of sense; I think you're exactly right El Payaso, I appreciate the insight.

However, I still have to question whether straight-up ignoring someone who reaches out to you is the best thing to do, you and @Bible_Belt may be going a bit too far...I have a great deal of respect for this woman - she hasn't really done wrong by me. I might prefer something like @logicallefty 's response - it keeps things lighthearted, while also not acquiescing to her attempt to get some kind of emotional reaction from me.

As long as she isn't excessively/unreasonably sending messages, I'm of the opinion that blocking isn't necessary. If the woman is feeling lonely (and she's clearly shown herself to be a decent and respectable person) and shoots you a message out of the blue, isn't giving some sort of reply fine?

 

[AllDay85]

Best response no response

 

[Bible_Belt]

This girl nexted you a month ago. Let it go.

 

[Genos]

This girl nexted you a month ago. Let it go.

Setting aside that we'd split up a while ago, if she did "next" me, then I'm even more interested in learning what I should've done better/how I could've responded when she reached out to me, which is the whole point of the post. I don't want to make the same mistakes in the future, Bible_Belt.

I'm simply questioning whether ignoring a woman (especially someone you've dated) so readily is a healthy approach to the interaction...it's possible that might be the case, but I find it hard to believe.

 

[PapiChulo]

They contact you for the sake of communication in itself! Don't read into the text. All it means it's that they though of you and might have actually missed you. That doesn't mean she is not looking for another d!ck while sending that text. Ignoring or blocking someone is a d!ck thing to do imho. and women see through that stuff easily. It's a mode of covert warfare that they learned as little girls! I personally only do it when it has been warranted by the woman's actions and she has done me wrong. Other than this, why not just play it cool and keep yourself open to opportunities.

 

[devilkingx2]

"For 6 easy payments of $9.95"