"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

How would you have handled this?

jakeyboy

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was feeling pretty good about this girl

things were going fine too...

i didnt really contact her, and most of the time it was she contacting me first

showed mild interest in her, but she does know im interested

anyways, today after a paper in uni, we took the train back together, and i asked her where she was going... she told me she was going downtown with her ex, to catch a movie and some lunch

and i think my jaw just dropped like ten inches to the ground.

and i was simply caught up in the moment and stunned because this girl had earlier on expressed interest in me.

and since it was the examination period, i didnt ask her out..

so she's going out with her ex?

so i simply said "i see... have fun :D"

(hmm, do tell me how you guys would have handled it)

i just didnt know how to handle it, i think i've been put in the LJBF zone, i'm going to bloody NEXXXXXT her... but i would really like insights on how you guys could have handled the situation any better than my pathetic effort.

thanks in advance for any input!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DJDamage

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You should have shown how this situation won't effect you at all.

I would say " cool, I have a date this saturday and I am going to downtown too maybe I will run into you."

This will show her that A) you don't really give a damn that you want her and you can care less that she is going on a date with the ex

b) You have other options, she is not the only game in town.

By the way, you don't know yet for sure if you are in the LJBF zone. Although her giving you that info is not a good sign.

You can always say: "why don't I take you out next saturday to my fav spot in downtown and we will have fun". Then see how she reacts to that.
 

thefonz

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i didnt really contact her, and most of the time it was she contacting me first
I just got done reading a piece by the ever-wise Anti-Dump aka. Pook in the DJ Bible....

He states this is a bad thing when women initiate hitting on you, asking you out, get your # etc. because it provides them the stepping stone of being incontrol/taking over the role of the man...... if your good enough or too good for her to date she should be to afraid to initiate any relationship in the begining because it;s not women's nature to do that.....knowing this information i would have expected a situation to arrive like you just described with the ex-factor coming into play......she;s control freak, next the biotch
 

Grey Fox

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She could be testing you to see if you are interested or not. Just take a little time to feel her out and see whats what. Once you get a real good feeling that she is either B.S. or legit, you'll know what to do.

-Grey Fox
 

uniassign

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Dude, HBs don't put all their eggs in the one basket until THEY decide to commit.

All my hot HB friends have several "prospects" going on at the same time, until they find one that they really want to "settle" down with (for the time being).

Don't be alarmed because you are not the only one. If you have been f&*king her for a while and she has indicated that you are the only one, you should be worried. Otherwise it is just normal chick behaviour.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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jakeyboy

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thanks for the insight guys...

hmm. i think it might simply be normal chick behaviour, though surprisingly i've never encountered this before

i'm nexting her because this has been going on for quite some time, and i'm already slapping myself left and right for acting like such a chump by "sticking around for her"

maybe i was just besotted with her beauty. DAMN

definitely agreed with UNIASSIGN, most HBs dont commit till they feel its right, (just for awhile only though)

guess i should never put all my eggs in one basket either, regardless of how hot she may be..


THEFONZ

this is a bad thing when women initiate hitting on you, asking you out, get your # etc. because it provides them the stepping stone of being incontrol/taking over the role of the man...... if your good enough or too good for her to date she should be to afraid to initiate any relationship in the begining because it;s not women's nature to do that.....knowing this information i would have expected a situation to arrive like you just described with the ex-factor coming into play......she;s control freak, next the biotch
hmm, however when i tried to talk to her in the past, whenever it was me initiating the contact, i never ever really got positive responses from her, she was either too busy to date me, or seemed very cold and distant in the way she was talking.

however when she started initiating contact with me, she was somewhat more friendly and warm, more receptive.

Pook's AD machine is for filtering out women, to find THE ONE AND ONLY SOULMATE SUITED FOR YOUR PERSONALITY ... doesnt really apply if you're just looking for a casual relationship though...

however, your point is well made.. and yeah definitely NEXTED the biatch already :D



thanks for all the responses guys... all will be taken into consideration on the long road to ultimate self improvement

any other insights or views are most welcome...
 
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