How would YOU have handled this?

[100cagefighter]

Ok, this isn't about being labeled a chump or anything. This is a question about how you would handle this same situation. Sorry this may be kind of long.

Here's the story, this happened over a 10 year period:

I went to high school (1993-1997)with this girl who I pursued in a very neophyte manner. She knew I liked her back then, but she had this boyfriend thoughout high school. She always claimed she would have went out with me if she was single, although I don't believe it. I have to say that this is the girl I always thought was for me.

One year after we graduated HS we ended up going to the same college together and lived in the same dorm my first year. She seemed like she was interested in being at least friends at the time, but I never made a move. After that first year of school I only saw her on occasion, which would be a hi, how are you doing type of thing. Then 3 years ago (2000) I was out with friends at a club and was pretty drunk, and I saw her, and apparently we had some mutual aquaintances. Upon leaving, I did a kind of stupid thing, and approached her. She was hugging me and holding my hands but stated that she was currently in a relationship and assured me that if things would ever work out, she would date me.

Now, just yesterday, I went back to my hometown (we both have graduated college), and went to a restaurant and ran into her. We talked a bit and I gave her my phone number and email address and told her to give me a call some time or write an email so we could become better friends, I told her my phone number would only be good for another week, though, because I started my own business and will be in Germany for the next 2 years (which we had talked about before I decided to give my phone number).

I don't know if this was the correct thing to do, but I put it out there because you never know what could happen. I don't really expect her to do anything, but I am curious, if any of you were in this situation, what would you have done?

 

[stormwriter]

Dude, i wouldn't expect anything, cause you are only in town for another week, and you sounded kind of weak when you gave her your phone number.

One of the things a DJ doesn't do is give a chick his phone number. So, she has the power now, and if i were you, i wouldn't expect a phone call. In fact, i wouldn't even worry about it, cause you are leaving the country anyways.
She doesn't seem like she's had much interest in you in the past ten years anyways, so short of winning the lottery or becoming famous, i don't know what's going to change her mind in the next week.

 

[davelmn2003]

I would have asked for her phone number and be proactive (and would give her my # too, as you did).

The big problem is that you're going to be in Germany for 2 years.

If I were the girl, EVEN if I were interested in you, I'd think that it wouldn't work out, just because you're going to be away soon for so a long time.

I hope things work out in the end for you.

 

[100cagefighter]

You're probably right, and I don't expect anything to happen, that's for sure. The only reason I did what I did is because, hey, why not and what did I have to lose? That's what I was thinking.

And trust me, I've been proactive so many times with this girl that I figured I'd give her my number and let her decide if anythings different now rather than waste my time and energy.....again.

 

[davelmn2003]

You're right:

You have nothing to lose! So you can't go wrong.

Now, go get ein deutsches Fräulein!

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

What you need to do, is find a new girl. This one sounds like a lost cause.

 

[100cagefighter]

Well, she's special to me.

 

[Quick]

Originally posted by 100cagefighter
Well, she's special to me.

Why?

 

[100cagefighter]

I don't know, she just feels right.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by 100cagefighter
I don't know, she just feels right.

From what you've posted, it sounds like you've only talked to her ONCE...sober, anyway. Plus, you had decided she was "the one for you" before you even knew her. What are you going to do when you find out she's not perfect?

 

[dontmindme]

Well, maybe she does truly like you, but I'd imagine that she'd want to get sexed up a bit before settling down. Which would mean that the only hope for you is to be there when she decides to settle down.

So, you can either sit on your thumbs and wait for another 10 years, or you can play the field, enjoy yourself, and see what happens.

 

[100cagefighter]

I've known her well for 10 years. I just don't talk to her on a regular basis or hang out. I've talked to her literally hundreds of times.

I haven't been sitting around for 10 years waiting for her either. I date many women. Like I said, she just feels right for me.

 

[Umbra]

You did what you could do, man. Don't get desperate. You did ok. Leave it alone now.

 

[100cagefighter]

And that's what I'm doing right now.

 

[jlujan]

I don't see what else could you do, its simply not the right time and the right moment now, it might be in the future or might be not, who knows.