How would you handle this?

[jimjam]

First off, as some of you know, this is all new to me. I mean, it was easy in my twenties. I really didn't have to work at it. Women, game, etc. But since being married, divorced, my son, everything seems complicated. My point is, please forgive me if I seem naïve.

Anyway, there's this track by where I live where everyone walks, runs, rides their bike, walks their dog, etc. I've been walking there at night just because it's a nice place. But there's a ton of women there. So tonight a storm was creeping up on us. On my way back, I see this one. Long brown hair, tight pants and a pink top that showed everything. The sun was behind her so I didn't get too good a look but I thought that I don't deserve to live if I don't at least say hi.

She came into focus as I got closer. I had originally thought, based on her body that she was mid twenties. But by her face she was easily mid thirties, early forties. And she was cute.

Me: "Looks like you're going to get rained on."
Her: "Oh, sorry."
Me: "No. I hope you don't get rained on, but it looks like it's headed
for us."
Her: "Oh, well, all the clouds are over there."
Me: "Okay. Have a good night"
Her: "Yeah, you too."

Then, when I was unlocking my car I saw her looking back at me.

My question is how do you escalate something like that. I seem to get hung up on escalating these situations. I suppose I should just let go of my outcome and say whatever.

And I was proud of myself because I approached. I didn't care what her response would be. I just wanted to make sure that I said something. Seems to me the same line of thinking should be employed in escalation.



Your thoughts are appreciated...

 

[Çharismo]

Good job on at least approaching.

There really is no way to escalate this smoothly. You could have tried to continue the conversation but you might have caught her off guard. Regardless if you see her next time just say hi and try to introduce yourself. Maintain a cool, calculated distance in the beginning but her responses should tell you everything whether or not she wants to continue the conversation or not. :moon:

 

[guru1000]

You: "Excuse me ... I couldn't help but notice that you were looking at me."

Her: "No, I wasn't."

You: "Yeah, yeah, that's what they ALL say." <smirk> I'm _____; nice to meet you.

Speak slowly. Try it.

 

[Albatross953]

See her again, or others approach with no expectations. Let yourself fail without concentrating on any one woman.

Eventually there will the one who doesn't reach into her bag for mace...

Kidding!

 

[jimjam]

Thanks for all of your thoughts and input. I appreciate it.

Went back to the track but I didn't see her. Oh, well. I'll introduce myself if I ever see her again. And if I don't see her? So what. I'll live and be happy.

Tried chatting up this one in the store today. She had on a t-shirt of an old band that I like and that I saw play. I commented on her shirt and that I saw them play and she immediately starts b!tch!ng about how her ex stole all of her records. I said he sounds like a real sweetheart or something equally droll but I took her comment as a huge red flag. Anyway, I gave myself a pat on the back for at least talking to her.

And I have a date tonight with one from POF. We'll see how that goes. Haven't had much luck with the on-line route.

Thanks again for your comments/advice.

 

[speed dawg]

Went back to the track but I didn't see her. Oh, well. I'll introduce myself if I ever see her again. And if I don't see her? So what. I'll live and be happy.

One thing about this - and I have to be truthful - you probably blew your shot with her. She probably wonders why you didn't escalate when you had the chance, and now she'll be judging you hard. So be prepared for that, if you see her again.

Other than that, good for you for approaching. Have to get comfortable with that before you can really close. Remember, it doesn't really matter what you say. Just be smooth and don't think too much. Keep it light. After she said, "Oh, sorry", you should have asked her, "Sorry for what?" and go from there. Her response made zero sense (unless she misunderstood you). Or after she said the cloud comment, just introduce yourself. Go for it.

 

[jimjam]

You're right, of course. And it's in hindsight that we realize our blunders.

I keep telling myself, ABC, always be closing, but I seem to hesitate at the moment of truth. Just have to let go of my outcome.

Thanks for the advice

 

[DJDamage]

She came into focus as I got closer. I had originally thought, based on her body that she was mid twenties. But by her face she was easily mid thirties, early forties. And she was cute.

Me: "Looks like you're going to get rained on."
Her: "Oh, sorry."
Me: "No. I hope you don't get rained on, but it looks like it's headed
for us."
Her: "Oh, well, all the clouds are over there."
Me: "Okay. Have a good night"
Her: "Yeah, you too."

Then, when I was unlocking my car I saw her looking back at me.

I don't think she was exactly digging at what you were saying, its a valid effort but it sounds like you caught her by surprise with a big goofy smile (although i'm guessing what your body language was at the time) and then you nervously existed the conversation.

I found it to be better not approaching when women are really concentrating on something like working out because they might not be so receptive at that time to be interrupted from high stress activity as opposed to a more fun or relaxed environment when they are likely want to engage while being in a more fun or relaxed state of mind. This woman might have had thoughts running through her head at the time like "oh man i'm so sweaty, gross and tired from the workout now, i just wanna head home"

With women is a numbers game, forget about her for now and continue to approach other women. Try incorporate more humor and dominance to the conversation as well as your opening may need to be more clear because if you have to explain yourself like you did there then it ruins your approach.

Best of luck.

 

[speed dawg]

You're right, of course. And it's in hindsight that we realize our blunders.

I keep telling myself, ABC, always be closing, but I seem to hesitate at the moment of truth. Just have to let go of my outcome.

Thanks for the advice

Don't we all.

I found it to be better not approaching when women are really concentrating on something like working out because they might not be so receptive at that time to be interrupted from high stress activity as opposed to a more fun or relaxed environment when they are likely want to engage while being in a more fun or relaxed state of mind. This woman might have had thoughts running through her head at the time like "oh man i'm so sweaty, gross and tired from the workout now, i just wanna head home"

Good points. That's why I've never been big on picking up at the gym or any other places where you have a strict 'purpose'. Others will probably disagree. To me, if you are at those places, you really have the screen the women and sort of wait for them to give you an opening.