How would you feel/react in this situation?

[FreeStyleZ]

Lets say your girlfriend lives 45 mins from you and is the type that hangs around mostly guys... most of her friends being guys. She has a guy friend thats constantly around her hanging out and a guy she used to mess with that she's just friends always around her as well. You rarely get to see her and havent seen her in 5 weeks, would you have a problem with this? Also a house that she's moving into, she's going to rent out two of the rooms to them. I tried talking with her about this but its hard without coming across as jealous and insecure. She says they're paying the rent and she doesnt have the money to, so thats the only reason she's doing it this way. Should i have a problem with this? And if i do, what is there i can do about it..

 

[JohnJones]

Why haven't you seen her in 5 weeks?
How old is she?
How recently did she "used to mess around" with the guy?
Are you better looking than they are?
Has she ever cheated on anyone before?

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Yeah I know some chicks that have ONLY guy friends. I'd be a tad concerned if she is renting a room out to one of the guys she messed around with though. I'll be fvcked if I know how to talk about it without sounding jealous and insecure though.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
most of her friends being guys... She has a guy friend thats constantly around her... and a guy she used to mess ... always around her as well. You...havent seen her in 5 weeks, would you have a problem with this? Also a house that she's moving into, she's going to rent out two of the rooms to them. .... And if i do, what is there i can do about it..

Oh there's no problem with this situation at all! After all, many girls don't see the guy they are "dating" for over a month. Not to mention, it's very common for girls to hang out and live with people they used to mess around with.

If you can't hear the sarcasm dripping from these words, perhaps you need to re-read it in a different light. You aren't dating this girl anymore, if you ever were. Quite frankly, long distance relationships don't work unless you're able to see the person a MINIMUM of once a week. I dated a girl in New Orleans that I'd met in a titty bar on Bourbon St. for 3 months... Either she'd come down to see me, or I'd drive an hour up there to go visit with her every weekend. If you have't seen someone in over 5 weeks, then I'd say it's a safe bet that she's got a guy (or guys) on the side. Move on with your life - by allowing the guy that she used to mess around with (and sure, you say that he's "just a friend"... how did you get that information? From her? ) to live not but 10 feet away from her bed, I think that she's already moved on with hers. If her interest level was where it should be, she would have made time to see you more often, and she would have put out roommate fliers around town like normal girls with boyfriends do when they need a roommate... 99% of the time finding a female one, instead of an ex-fuc* buddy and a "best friend".

Find someone else. Someone closer. Someone who doesn't intend on letting their ex and another guy live not but a room or two away. There's no way to say it without sounding like you're jealous, because you are. If you weren't, you wouldn't even care that you haven't seen her for almost a month and a half, and you wouldn't have posted anything about the situation up on a board for all to comment on.

This is AFC. Next!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

How can I put this delicately. Your girl is a ho!!

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Why haven't you seen her in 5 weeks?
How old is she?
How recently did she "used to mess around" with the guy?
Are you better looking than they are?
Has she ever cheated on anyone before?

Im in college and dont have a car here so i have no way of seeing her other than going home on weekends and then driving there. I havent done that because ive been busy for a while. I probably saw her 4 weeks ago... which still is a while. And yes im far better looking than both of them and have ALOT more going for me than either. This is the main reason that i didnt really worry about it because i figured if she wanted to make a poor decision and mess with them, she'd be making a big mistake. I have no way of knowing if she cheated on anyone though... she says thats not her style... and she's constantly worrying about ME cheating on her while im here at college. Id like as much input as i can get on this because its a pretty weird situation. One of the guys she's best friends with wants to **** her but she has told him numerous times its not happening and he's too ugly. The other guy whose planning to move in with her is a guy she messed with probably 4 months before meeting me.. one of the only other guys she's claimed was on my level.

 

[Big Pappy]

First, you are missing an important detail.

The only reason she is letting these guys move in is because she can't afford the rent?

First, why can't she afford the rent? What happened?

Second, understand that the reason that girls like guy friends is because we aren't as complicated as they are. We aren't "catty" and generally tend to like women as opposed to other women who might feel threatened by a young lady's beauty.

No car? That would suck! Have you thought about buying one or do you just not "need" one?

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Well no, she said she's letting them move in because the friend of hers broke up with his gf and needed a place to stay.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
...She has a guy friend thats constantly around her hanging out and a guy she used to mess with that she's just friends always around her as well....Also a house that she's moving into, she's going to rent out two of the rooms to them...

there is nothing to worry about here, she is just a normal girl that likes the company of male friends. If you go visit her and find her choking on one of her roomates' d1cks, don't fret, it means nothing. She's probably just giving them a demonstration, or perhaps it's only a "friendly" bl0w job.

If you behave yourself, maybe her roomates will allow you to take her out to dinner or buy her some clothes or something.

 

[Ballistik]

Wow.

Move on. Right now.

I don't want to essentially rewrite everything Bishop said, and he covered what needs to be covered. This girl is not all that interested in you, and if she even considers you to still be together anymore (which I doubt), she's almost definitely cheating on you. There's a rule in dating: Never, ever, ever, ever trust your girl to be alone with someone she's hooked up with before. You're about to let her live with one.

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

FreeStyleZ,

I don't know if you are aware of this but most if not all college apartments automatically assign you fellow roomates in case you don't have any friends that you would like to stay with.

This is how it works, you have two options:

Option 1: You and some friends want to live together. The managment asks everyone this before assigning roomates.

Option 2: You don't have any friends so management automatically assigns you roomates.

***I think you should find out the name of the apartment complex and call them to see what the roomate options are. If your chick had the option of getting random roomates why didn't she take that? This is something you could easily find out if you know the name of the complex. Just call them up and ask how the roomate situations works.

 

[Seraph]

There is no excuse for not seeing her in the span of 2 weeks, much less 5. It's over. She's either choking on the **** like an earlier poster said, or soon will be.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

its not an apartment building on campus or anything.. its just a house that she's renting a room out with

 

[JohnJones]

There are a lot of worst cases here and few best cases -- since its unlikely that there is a best case.

Most women I know wouldn't feel comfortable being in that situation no matter what, b/f or not.

It honestly wouldn't surprise me if you broke up with her and she wasn't too shaken up about it.

Basically, if you can distance yourself to where she is just someone you hang with, and she knows that, and you're still having sex, etc., but you can look for someone else who is less reckless with her circumstances, do it.

Or, if you think its not that big a deal and can handle that she might get drunk and "mess around" with these guys, find a couple of hotties who just "need a place to stay" a couple of nights -- you don't need to do anything to them if you still consider it cheating. Then tell her these girls crashed on your floor but its not a big deal -- see what she says then.

Just remember that a girl who is jealous is not the same as a girl who is in love with you.

Otherwise, dump her and find another girl at school.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
Well no, she said she's letting them move in because the friend of hers broke up with his gf and needed a place to stay.

And needs a place for his d@#k to stay, maybe.

I remember reading somewhere that if a girl has all male friends and doesn't have one or two really close female friends, then there's some trouble there.

Let's get this out of the way...if you're girl's attractive and these guys are always hanging around her, they WANT to f**k her. That should be blatantly obvious, at least to you. Girls don't always see this right away, though, so assuming that she DOESN'T have any interest in either one of these clowns, she may just be making a business decision. But she's oblivious to the fact that they want to bang her and it's going to come back on her sooner or later.

But wait...she messed around with one of these guys before. (in other words, the platonic "seal" has been broken before) And she said he's "on your level". And she's gonna be seeing a LOT more of him. And she's been seeing a LOT less of you.

Now maybe she can handle all this, but remember, she's in college and I gather that she's not the most responsible girl in the world since she can't even afford her own rent.

As long as you're getting laid, I'd wait and see where this leads, but be prepared for some drama. And if I were you, I'd be looking for a replacement for her for when/if the drama hits.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

We no longer go out, as of today.

 

[JohnJones]

What did she say about it?

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Dunno, I didnt say anything about that. What ended it was me showing her this thread wondering how she'd refute the argument that she'd cheat on me.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Re: Re: How would you feel/react in this situation?

Originally posted by [T]he ishop
Oh there's no problem with this situation at all! After all, many girls don't see the guy they are "dating" for over a month. Not to mention, it's very common for girls to hang out and live with people they used to mess around with.

If you can't hear the sarcasm dripping from these words, perhaps you need to re-read it in a different light. You aren't dating this girl anymore, if you ever were. Quite frankly, long distance relationships don't work unless you're able to see the person a MINIMUM of once a week. I dated a girl in New Orleans that I'd met in a titty bar on Bourbon St. for 3 months... Either she'd come down to see me, or I'd drive an hour up there to go visit with her every weekend. If you have't seen someone in over 5 weeks, then I'd say it's a safe bet that she's got a guy (or guys) on the side. Move on with your life - by allowing the guy that she used to mess around with (and sure, you say that he's "just a friend"... how did you get that information? From her? ) to live not but 10 feet away from her bed, I think that she's already moved on with hers. If her interest level was where it should be, she would have made time to see you more often, and she would have put out roommate fliers around town like normal girls with boyfriends do when they need a roommate... 99% of the time finding a female one, instead of an ex-fuc* buddy and a "best friend".

Find someone else. Someone closer. Someone who doesn't intend on letting their ex and another guy live not but a room or two away. There's no way to say it without sounding like you're jealous, because you are. If you weren't, you wouldn't even care that you haven't seen her for almost a month and a half, and you wouldn't have posted anything about the situation up on a board for all to comment on.

This is AFC. Next!

DITTO!

 

[DJ_Dork]

Just ignore her, look for other girls.