How would you feel if your GF was best friends with a guy?

[The_Reaper]

Would you be suspicious - particularly of the guy? Maybe he's an AFC afflicted with oneitis for her.

My GF happens to be best friends with a guy whom I've heard used to date her for a short period. That annoys me. I have not actually met him yet - but she calls him her best friend. Hmm. I don't like the idea of a personal connection between them, and the possibility that he may be in love with her - from my experience in most male - female "best" friendships, usually one of them is attracted to the other.

What do you guys think?

 

[flexion_]

I agree.

 

[The_Reaper]

Thanks.

 

[Bourne]

Majority of guys are there to have something more then friendship. Guys who have transcended that, happen too. Not that often. I have many friends who are girls now, but wouldn't want nothing more then great friendship and I have that. Most of them have b/f. But I am coming from a different place, and back few years ago I was getting into friendships with girls for relationship now, I am opposite.
Its hard to say until you hang out with the guy and talk to him as you hanging out like buddies.

 

[Bourne]

Plus I think you should stop worrying about these petty things.

You have a life to lead and live.

 

[PeeGee]

I think you are letting insecurity get in the way of realising that your girl having a best friend who is a guy means she has somebody to dump all that stupid touchy feely **** to. So more time can be spent with you doing actual productive things.

 

[The_Reaper]

I think you are letting insecurity get in the way of realising that your girl having a best friend who is a guy means she has somebody to dump all that stupid touchy feely **** to. So more time can be spent with you doing actual productive things.

That's a very good post there - I would be glad if he was there as her emotional tampon, which would cement his place in AFC friendville....

HOWEVER - here's the problem. I'm living abroad and wont see my GF for 3 months, and the best friend is gone to stay with her for the weekend in her college. That annoys me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It shouldn't matter if she thinks you're a better man, of course she won't come to that conclusion on her own.

 

[The_Reaper]

It shouldn't matter if she thinks you're a better man, of course she won't come to that conclusion on her own.

Hold on, what? Could you elaborate a bit there?

 

[Distant Light]

It is a girl and at anytime some guy who can swoop in and take her by storm. Stop worrying, its best to still be in the field approaching woman because most guys I've seen on this site in particular is they get a girl and stop approaching new woman and then they hold her for months and when its all over they end up back to square one.

You should know by now that any girl can cheat if the guy push those right buttons.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hold on, what? Could you elaborate a bit there?

It all deals with the nature of women; their basic need. Is she believes that you fulfil that need, she will not sway, no matter what. Not too many guys believe it because they feel that they can't compete at that level and frankly, they can't.

So they make excuses that their girl is a wh0re, slut or whatever the term of the day may be. A woman will commit to a guy if he fulfills her basic need. Of course there's always an exception but that's only when a woman has a skewed interpretation of the need.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You should know by now that any girl can cheat if the guy push those right buttons.

A woman will be susceptible to cheating NOT because of some other guy pushing the right buttons but because HER GUY ISN'T pressing the right buttons. C'mon, take some ownership in the matter...

 

[lougv22]

OP, that sounds very suspicous to me. i don't believe that a guy can be 'just friends' with a girl. I am willing to bet money that her best friend guy has feelings for her and is just waiting for the right time to make his move. And what's this about him staying with her while you are away for 3 months?! man, i would be very concerned if i were you. i bet he is just sitting there thinking that since you are out of the picture now he can make a move on her. I think the best strategy in this case is 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer', in other words act like you are cool with the whole situation and ask to meet him and hang out with him. Try to make friends with him and keep an eye on him. Try to limit their alone time as much as possible but don't look like the jealous type. That's my opinion.

 

[penkitten]

A woman will be susceptible to cheating NOT because of some other guy pushing the right buttons but because HER GUY ISN'T pressing the right buttons. C'mon, take some ownership in the matter...

thats the truth for both males and females.

 

[BigFoot]

If you are concerned (I would be), find out more about the other guy - he could be a friend only.
Franci has a good point relating to whether or not a guy meets her
"basic need". Of course, he doesn't elaborate on what that is, so it's hard
to tell how valid that is. Kind of reminds me of Dave Deangelo

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

thats the truth for both males and females.

I'd have to question that. For most men it's quantity over quality.

 

[trance_addict]

I dont bother getting invovled with those situations. The only exception, is if I hear the words "I'm Gay" come out of his mouth..

 

[Abcd]

Majority of guys are there to have something more then friendship. Guys who have transcended that, happen too. Not that often. I have many friends who are girls now, but wouldn't want nothing more then great friendship and I have that. Most of them have b/f. But I am coming from a different place, and back few years ago I was getting into friendships with girls for relationship now, I am opposite.
Its hard to say until you hang out with the guy and talk to him as you hanging out like buddies.

I think the OP should just play it cool and figure out what he thinks after getting to know the guy and getting to know his GF. You should be able to get a good sense for whether the guy is romantically attracted or not after not too long...

Personally, my two best friends are girls, and I am definitely not at all attracted to either of them, and my girlfriend knows that. I've never dated either of those friends, though. Both of them were indeed interested in dating me at some point, however, but have moved on and had multiple boyfriends since then.