"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How would you deal with this guy?

Viper

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Alright, so there's this fat dude, named Dymen, this dude gets on my f*cking nerves, he doesn't shut up, he's always talking stuff, always attempts to tease me and make fun of me, always tries to start stuff with me, he always tries to act tough and he's just a plain dumbass. He put's on that self-consious, righteous, nice, funny guy act in front of most people and that's why he has so many friends, but when you have class with this guy, he reveals his true colors. This guy is also fruity too, he carries a purse around(Well, it's not actually a purse, but it looks like one), he has a lot of girls who are friends, he even has a fruity voice. Even though he puts on the tough, ****y attitude, man is this guy a f*cking softy, when you diss him, all he does is say "Shut the **** up" and when you come up at him, he rarely does anything, the one time he did do something, we got in a fight and I kicked his ass. I just want to know, how would you deal with this guy? I already kicked his ass, he apparently didn't learn from that, talked to the principal, despite a warning, this dude is still bothering me. There's also this other dude, is big for a freshmen, he weighs more than me, yes, but he's also about an inch taller than me. Man, this dude is just annoying, he comes up to the lunch line everyday, saying stupid crap to me, he mocks me alot because of my voice, he talks a lot of stuff, he thinks hes funny and hes just a plain dumbass, to be honest, I find his impression of me quite hilarious, but it just gets annoying after a while; plus, this dude uses the word "Man" at the end of almost every sentence and it just adds to how annoying he is. Enough complaining though, I want to know how to just get this "dude" to f*ck off, I'm tired of his jokes and I'm tired of him mocking me. The worse thing is, is that one of the Freshmen girls who I'm interested in, is friends with loser for some reason, one day she came up to him, while he was dissing me and said to him in a laughing tone, "You're terrible!". That sucks, because not only does the chick not think that I can stand up for myself now, but she also feels sorry for me. It seems as if when one bully leaves(Tony, the guy who was bullying me earlier, moved last week, to a bigger school, that's about 10-15 minutes away from ours), more bullies come in.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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thederekeffect1

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The only way to beat a bully is to be a bully. He immitates you, immitate him... But louder so everyone can hear and laugh at him. If he says some **** like "I'll **** you up" or "shut the **** up" be like... "Aww... Want me to get you a tissue?". Reply to everything he says confidently (like you could kick his ass if he tried to throw a fist) and sarcastically/****y. Or better yet, when he mocks your voice be like "Are you that in love with my voice? I'm flattered but I'm starting to think you're gay. Please don't stand behind me anymore".
 

Smooth Player 056

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Dude, You said you kicked the guys ass before......in class get your reputation up. Stand while the class is watching....point at him and be like "Dude, Id be happy to beat your ass again"

For the other guy......who makes fun of your looks be like
"Dude, your my personal assistant! Keep the advie comming! Your like queer eye for the straight guy, I mean your gay right?"


Love
~Smooth
 

TheGotDamnHNiC

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hit him in the jaw. mannn you cant be getting punked by a dudes with a purse ! ah ! wtf...just wtf...you cant be a playa, why are you on here?

only weak mothafukas start bull **** ! real gs dont do nothing but knock a hatta down ! get wit it !
 

Jay-X

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probably it's your fault if every guy in your school wants to bully you around...

sh1t man, this guy is even a fùcking fat @ss... if he were to diss me for anything, i'd reply something like "who's fatter? you or your mom?"


come out with something to say when he disses you... or hit him playfully, but hard so that he learns not to fùck with you
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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oakraiderz2

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STOP POSTING!!!
 

Viper

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Originally posted by thederekeffect1
The only way to beat a bully is to be a bully. He immitates you, immitate him... But louder so everyone can hear and laugh at him. If he says some **** like "I'll **** you up" or "shut the **** up" be like... "Aww... Want me to get you a tissue?". Reply to everything he says confidently (like you could kick his ass if he tried to throw a fist) and sarcastically/****y. Or better yet, when he mocks your voice be like "Are you that in love with my voice? I'm flattered but I'm starting to think you're gay. Please don't stand behind me anymore".
Good advice, this really helps with the overall situation.
hit him in the jaw. mannn you cant be getting punked by a dudes with a purse ! ah ! wtf...just wtf...you cant be a playa, why are you on here?

only weak mothafukas start bull **** ! real gs dont do nothing but knock a hatta down ! get wit it !
I don't start ****, I just end it. If that guy hits me, I hit him back, if he wants to fight me, I kick his ass, but I never throw the first punch.
probably it's your fault if every guy in your school wants to bully you around...

sh1t man, this guy is even a fùcking fat @ss... if he were to diss me for anything, i'd reply something like "who's fatter? you or your mom?"


come out with something to say when he disses you... or hit him playfully, but hard so that he learns not to fùck with you
My fault? Oh yeah, I guess it is MY fault I have a silly voice, I guess it is MY fault people tease me about stupid things, that I can't change, NOT -- that was ignorant man.

Plus, man, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING JUST LETTING HIM DISS ME? Of course I've SAID something when he disses me, what do you think? I'm some kind of pushover.
I think you're on the wrong board, Viper.
Why because YOU live in a magical gay land of fairies and princesses, were people don't fight, people don't die and people don't have problems, the world were all is perfect? This isn't the Land of Make Believe man and believe it or not, no one is perfect, even the best Don Juans, have problems.
 

Jay-X

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Originally posted by Viper


My fault? Oh yeah, I guess it is MY fault I have a silly voice, I guess it is MY fault people tease me about stupid things, that I can't change, NOT -- that was ignorant man.

Plus, man, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING JUST LETTING HIM DISS ME? Of course I've SAID something when he disses me, what do you think? I'm some kind of pushover.


don't find excuses, viper. i know it's YOUR fault, since i have been picked on in the past... guess what? if those guys would try to start sh1t with me nowadays, i would make them regret it.


if you have a silly voice, improve it... i've known lots of people with voices that were just... unbearable... well, it was always because they wouldn't try to improve them.


if someone touches you, spit on his face.
if someone punches you, send him to the hospital.
if someone disses you, take care of his mother's flaws...


it's not that hard, after you realize that nobody will pick on you unless you give him the right to do it
 

The Master Disaster

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Originally posted by Viper

Why because YOU live in a magical gay land of fairies and princesses, were people don't fight, people don't die and people don't have problems, the world were all is perfect? This isn't the Land of Make Believe man and believe it or not, no one is perfect, even the best Don Juans, have problems.
I can see why you don't have friends. You blow up (like a nerd) on a small thing. Don't be so touchy and people won't **** with you. That could be your problem over analizing things and making **** out of nothing then reacting to it. So take life slowly. (I wouldn't lump you in with even the worst DJs)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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cablecow15

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heres somthing when they give you a moma joke
like "i was with your mom last night"
say, while you were after old ladies i was carving my name
into your moms uterus while she blew off my dog
(if that dont get them to thow a punch nothing will)
im forced to do that scince my school has really strict
policies about fighting.
 

oakraiderz2

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Originally posted by Viper
Good advice, this really helps with the overall situation.

I don't start ****, I just end it. If that guy hits me, I hit him back, if he wants to fight me, I kick his ass, but I never throw the first punch.

My fault? Oh yeah, I guess it is MY fault I have a silly voice, I guess it is MY fault people tease me about stupid things, that I can't change, NOT -- that was ignorant man.

Plus, man, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING JUST LETTING HIM DISS ME? Of course I've SAID something when he disses me, what do you think? I'm some kind of pushover.

Why because YOU live in a magical gay land of fairies and princesses, were people don't fight, people don't die and people don't have problems, the world were all is perfect? This isn't the Land of Make Believe man and believe it or not, no one is perfect, even the best Don Juans, have problems.
1. You dont end a goddamn thing, youre a *****, stop fooling yourself. If he annoyed you that much youd beat his ass. Stop being a pansy.

2. Everything is your fault cause you dontdo anything to change. I think you let him diss you...because youre a b-i-t-c-h

3. He didnt imply anything to that nature. Stop being so extreme to coverup your insecurities.
 

Viper

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I can see why you don't have friends. You blow up (like a nerd) on a small thing. Don't be so touchy and people won't **** with you. That could be your problem over analizing things and making **** out of nothing then reacting to it. So take life slowly. (I wouldn't lump you in with even the worst DJs)
Wait, wait, first of all, back off a little man, I don't know you and you sure as hell don't know me, so don't go telling me I don't have any friends, yeah, you're right, I don't have many friends, but that's not why, so stop acting like you know me.
Originally posted by oakraiderz2
1. You dont end a goddamn thing, youre a *****, stop fooling yourself. If he annoyed you that much youd beat his ass. Stop being a pansy.

2. Everything is your fault cause you dontdo anything to change. I think you let him diss you...because youre a b-i-t-c-h

3. He didnt imply anything to that nature. Stop being so extreme to coverup your insecurities.
1.
he rarely does anything, the one time he did do something, we got in a fight and I kicked his ass
2. Well of course I can't stop him from dissing me, I can't control his god damn mouth.

3. I take EVERYTHING seriously, deal with it.
 

DJ4Real

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Don't be mad at me because no one likes a jack ass like you, Viper.

You're the one with no friends and you're trying to talk sh!t...get out of my face, wanna be.

Edit: By the way, we do know you, we all know you very well. So stop trying to play it off like you have friends.

The next time you disrespect me, we will both be banned.
 

Viper

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Originally posted by DJ4Real
Don't be mad at me because no one likes a jack ass like you, Viper.

You're the one with no friends and you're trying to talk sh!t...get out of my face, wanna be.

Edit: By the way, we do know you, we all know you very well. So stop trying to play it off like you have friends.

The next time you disrespect me, we will both be banned.
Hah, alright man, whatever, once a guy starts threatening you with empty threats over the internet, you know it's too pathetic a topic to go on about.

Plus, no you don't know me, don't fool yourself buddy. Until you actually come up to my school and can prove that I have no friends, it really doesn't matter what you say.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJ4Real

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Originally posted by Viper
Hah, alright man, whatever, once a guy starts threatening you with empty threats over the internet, you know it's too pathetic a topic to go on about.

Plus, no you don't know me, don't fool yourself buddy. Until you actually come up to my school and can prove that I have no friends, it really doesn't matter what you say.
Threat? :crackup: you're worse than I thought. If you consider that a threat, then you really do lack experience!

It's not a threat, it's a warning. If you like these forums, then hence my warning.

You have no friends. If you did, you wouldn't ask such stupid questions. :crackup:

Tell me this, do you ask your "friends" these questions?

Here's the definition of "threat".

Threat

1. An expression of an intention to inflict pain, injury, evil, or punishment.
2. An indication of impending danger or harm.
3. One that is regarded as a possible danger; a menace.
 

The Master Disaster

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Originally posted by Viper
Wait, wait, first of all, back off a little man, I don't know you and you sure as hell don't know me, so don't go telling me I don't have any friends, yeah, you're right, I don't have many friends, but that's not why, so stop acting like you know me.
I don't have to know you. I see little *****es like you everyday. Emos. Complain, Complain. "My Life Sucks" Grow up. Every thread you make just makes me want to hate you more. You don't help anyone when you make dumb threads you just clutter everyones brain with dumb repsonses.
 

cablecow15

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what was this post about again?
 

Viper

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Originally posted by The Master Disaster
I don't have to know you. I see little *****es like you everyday. Emos. Complain, Complain. "My Life Sucks" Grow up. Every thread you make just makes me want to hate you more. You don't help anyone when you make dumb threads you just clutter everyones brain with dumb repsonses.
You call my post DUMB, but then you call me emo and then make up all this sh*t about how I think my life sucks? I think you should first stop making presumptions based on nothing, then you should think before you post. Plus, who's complaining, the only one I see complaining is you. I made this thread because I wanted HELP with the situation, not for your f*cking entertainment, dumbass.
 

benassi

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viper bro ur always crying about ****, are u like the school geek?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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