"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How would a DJ break it to her?

M

MacAvoy

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How would you tell your g/f that you actually may have 2 kids and not 1. 4 years ago, I slept w/ my ex (have a 7 year old daughter w/ her). At the time she had a b/f and was sleeping w/ him on a regular basis, we slept together maybe once in the month that this other child was conceived. Because I have been the only father in my ex’s life, when things went sour w/ the other guy, she naturally reacted by saying that it was my child because I have been the only one to spend time (and money) on my daughter. For the first 2 -1/2 years of child B’s life, I never paid attention to her, never accepted her. In the past year, I started spending time w/ her and allowing her to call me daddy for many stupid AFC reasons.

So my question is, how should I tell my current g/f about the situation. She knows about my daughter and is completely understanding of that. However I know she will not approve if in fact I do have 2 children. It makes it a lot harder for us to have a family when there are that many other people involved.

So how should I tell her and act. In the end, if I lose her over it, I am not worried, I made my bed and I have to sleep in it. What I want to know, is how to use DJ and attraction principles so that I can best come out of this situation?

I have been seeing my g/f for over 4 months but we have known each other for 4 years.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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V

Vibe

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Well, just tell her. It's not something you can get around. Tell her you understand if she can't be with you anymore and you are prepared for that result, but obviously you have to tell her. But you have to be willing to lose her (and you already said you are) if you want to keep her. She'll see that you are serious about the situation. This takes care of three things. By taking care of the situation, you are showing her that you are a responsible man. By not trying to hide things, you are showing her that you care about her. Finally, by giving her the option to leave, you are showing your male confidence and willingness to stand up for your own life.

~Vibe~
 
G

Gangster Of Love

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how about a patternity test?
 
N

Nighthawk

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Tell her you have terrible secret to tell her, that you've been lying to her and this might be the end, but you have to be honest with her.

She will imagine its another woman. When she hears its just another kid, she'll be relieved.
 
M

MacAvoy

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Originally posted by Nighthawk
Tell her you have terrible secret to tell her, that you've been lying to her and this might be the end, but you have to be honest with her.

She will imagine its another woman. When she hears its just another kid, she'll be relieved.
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I like it, how else should I play it once she realizes it isn't another women. I know this'll help but I'm sure she'll still be pissed.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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N

Nighthawk

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Originally posted by MacAvoy
I like it, how else should I play it once she realizes it isn't another women. I know this'll help but I'm sure she'll still be pissed.
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Well I wouldn't use c&f that's for sure.

Open up, be honest about how you were torn between lying and being honest, cry, punch yourself in the head, whatever - it might bring you closer. But theres no getting around the fact you deceived her, so your at her mercy to an extent. She is going to be pissed (and with good reason), and I think you have to suck it up and take it. But if you open the door, she is less likely to go through it, imo.
 
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