How woman explain things to make sense to their friends.

[mrgoodstuff]

 

[flowtheory]

Weird, and random story..
But I get the point..

Both women, and men, generally need to make their ex seem worse than the actual facts so that their family and social circle can tell them they deserve better or are better than that. It’s self protection that people delay inaccurate stories. They need to feel wronged so to gain sympathy and power. And could be a sense of delusion to fabricate what happened in the end, so one can feel justified in keeping their sense of self in-tact.

Most people split because both individuals had parts to play within a dysfunctional dynamic. But neither can see the whole situation for what it was, as most actions are happening based on their biases of how they felt. Or maybe one can’t let something go. But in the end one will walk, and drama will ensue for ones ego so they can get away and feel a sense of pride.

I think in the above story, it just sounds like there were no boundaries or safe standards. But most relationships women will make the guy seem ‘less’ in some gradient. And they will always try to get the last word so they can convince they won a breakup and we’re right to leave. Even if they know they were just being ridiculous or dramatic.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Weird, and random story..
But I get the point..

Both women, and men, generally need to make their ex seem worse than the actual facts so that their family and social circle can tell them they deserve better or are better than that. It’s self protection that people delay inaccurate stories. They need to feel wronged so to gain sympathy and power. And could be a sense of delusion to fabricate what happened in the end, so one can feel justified in keeping their sense of self in-tact.

As men we probably "don't try to make it worse than it was", because even the tid-bits are usually enough. However if you are a really political type of person, you will paint the other person worse to absolve yourself of responsibility.

Most people split because both individuals had parts to play within a dysfunctional dynamic. But neither can see the whole situation for what it was, as most actions are happening based on their biases of how they felt. Or maybe one can’t let something go. But in the end one will walk, and drama will ensue for ones ego so they can get away and feel a sense of pride.

One of the strange things that happen in splits, is if one of them is narcissistic their group will continue an ongoing "campaign" against the person who was done dirty. The women who employ this method feel that their emotional state should be better than your own, so they will stay ontop of you for years and years later to maintain this differential. That's part of themselves making themself "feel better".

I think in the above story, it just sounds like there were no boundaries or safe standards. But most relationships women will make the guy seem ‘less’ in some gradient. And they will always try to get the last word so they can convince they won a breakup and we’re right to leave. Even if they know they were just being ridiculous or dramatic.

They know the truth, and many times their friends know the truth even though they may carry the lie or exxageration. I gave this one as a wild story to show how much the story can change.

 

[flowtheory]

However if you are a really political type of person, you will paint the other person worse to absolve yourself of responsibility.

That true. And I find usually women are the ones to attempt to absolve themselves post break up, contorting events to suit what will make them seeM like the one who was unworthy of whichever treatment. Putting the responsibility on the mans lack of leadership or his manhood.
Every guy has seen it and women friends are witness to it, but everyone knows it’s their own self-protective layers. Yet, most just enable it.

They know the truth, and many times their friends know the truth even though they may carry the lie or exxageration.

Yea It’s sad that friends don’t actually just make truthful observations about the entirety of the relationship. They just agree with the friend who their closest to.
I know in my recent break, from what I heard from her, all her friends think I’m ‘this’ or ‘that’ way, or it was ‘always doomed for x y and z’ from the start. Not taking any of her behaviours in to the bigger picture.
And they will all cast me out. Saying she deserves better, but only due to the fact they’re her friend, so it further enables her current mode of thinking.

More often than not in relationships, friends can keep people stuck in to thinking about things in atopic way, rather than seeing the whole Forrest. Depending on what happened, of course.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That true. And I find usually women are the ones to attempt to absolve themselves post break up, contorting events to suit what will make them seeM like the one who was unworthy of whichever treatment. Putting the responsibility on the mans lack of leadership or his manhood.
Every guy has seen it and women friends are witness to it, but everyone knows it’s their own self-protective layers. Yet, most just enable it.


Yea It’s sad that friends don’t actually just make truthful observations about the entirety of the relationship. They just agree with the friend who their closest to.
I know in my recent break, from what I heard from her, all her friends think I’m ‘this’ or ‘that’ way, or it was ‘always doomed for x y and z’ from the start. Not taking any of her behaviours in to the bigger picture.
And they will all cast me out. Saying she deserves better, but only due to the fact they’re her friend, so it further enables her current mode of thinking.

More often than not in relationships, friends can keep people stuck in to thinking about things in atopic way, rather than seeing the whole Forrest. Depending on what happened, of course.

And we wonder how they can grow into "pieces of crap". Enabling sh1t behaviors and removing accountability makes for a weak person.