"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How/when best to contact this girl.

Rhizzle

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Thanks everyone. I'm about to call this chick in a few minutes and try to set something up for after thanksgiving.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Rhizzle

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Ok, so I called the chick.

I wont lie, my dumb ass got a little nervous and at one point, I asked the same question twice. Hope I didn't blow it. I asked what she was up to, and a couple minutes later, I asked again.

So, basically, the whole talk was all of about 5 minutes. She was hanging out with some friends, and didn't know my number, so I'm surprised she answered. She didn't know my number, but as soon as I told her my first name, she knew who it was.

Anyway, so basically, I asked if she was gonna be back in town friday, and she said no, that she was working wed, and was gone till Sunday to her families house. Then added that she was working all day Sunday.

So, I then said, "Well, would you be up for checking out the zoo lights next week when you're back in town?"

Well, she said "yea, that sounds like fun" (and sounded excited), and said, "call me next week so we can plan it."

So, I said sure, I'll give ya a ring this weekend.

(I know, you're supposed to solidify plans, but I messed up. I'm on a learning curve here.)

I figure, I'll call her monday, so it doesn't look like I'm calling on the day I said I'd call (the weekend). But yet not waiting till into the week, so its too late to plan it.

In my opinion overall, I think it is a good sign. Time will tell.

Then she thanked me for calling, This "thanking" part didn't flow very well, sounded odd. Maybe she was a little nervous since I'm an older guy.

Thoughts?
 

iqqi

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Its good you didn't solidify anything. That would have seemed pushy, from what I get from what you wrote.

Must contemplate when you should call again.

Part of me thinks you should put her on the back burner for her IL not being high enough seeming... but I am ruthless in this time of my life.

So maybe Monday or Tuesday.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I don't get it. It's a holiday weekend, one where families spend time together, FOR THE WEEKEND!! So now instead of having a date set in stone for some time next week, you are in limbo waiting until next week just to call her to ask if you can get together. Sometimes we are our own worse enemies.
 
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