You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Nice Post and i agree.Kawai said:It's an absolute game changer. I'm 5'10" and weigh in at 200lbs @ 13% bodyfat (this fluctuates). I've been working out seriously now for about 10 years and I can say that it opens doors and causes women to approach. When I weighed 180 or less I had to work a lot more.
That said, it won't hold'em. You still have to have a decent personality. If you have the car, the house, the clothes, the personality, and all the shiney things...it's almost a sure thing as it plays to their fantasy.
You will get labled a player, but that also creates the challenge of her being the girl that will be able to hold you down. This is not an exaggeration, I stopped counting after 400 women (this is good...and not good). At age 34 I slowed my roll and started only dating for relationships...I still got labled a player and had a hard time maintaining trust even though I wasn't spinning additional plates.
Anyway, most of the girls I dated always commented later that physique was the clincher.
Keep in mind that it's a lifestyle. Like I said, I found what works for me, and then I stuck with that formula (plain Creatine Monohydrate, Muscle Milk, and a daily vit.). Stay away from fried foods (unless olive oil), and don't over do the carbs. You're metabolism will speed up, you'll burn more calories just sitting around than someone who runs all the time, and since you're constantly replacing cells in your body, you'll maintain a youthful appearance far longer. I'm 38 and always get estimated at 29 to 33 max.
There's a lot of science behind it, but most important is consistency. If anyone has questions about working out, I'll be more than happy to send you everything I know. Consequently I'm good at getting laid, but horrible at maintaining a quality relationship, so don't bother asking me about that.
Laters
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
It's a delayed reaction, keep up the great work. If you can stay in shape it only gets easier. Plus, maybe try eating a whole foods diet and ideally growing some of your own vegetables (chicks LOVE a garden) for optimal health.JCballin88 said:I will say that over the past 4 years or so I went from a scrawny 160 to a ripped 205 (I'm 5'11).
And I really haven't noticed a difference. I'm certainly not getting opened by chicks, or complimented by anyone other than family. It's pretty damn frustrating, since I'm working so hard in the gym.
Could be your demeanor... meaning maybe you don't look approachable. Maybe you still have that "loser" look from back when you were skinnier.JCballin88 said:I will say that over the past 4 years or so I went from a scrawny 160 to a ripped 205 (I'm 5'11).
And I really haven't noticed a difference. I'm certainly not getting opened by chicks, or complimented by anyone other than family. It's pretty damn frustrating, since I'm working so hard in the gym.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Happy for you, man. Remember, the more you go to the gym the more you will want to go to the gym. After the first couple weeks it's all downhill.corrector said:After reading this thread, I should have no regrets of hiring a PT at the gym, keeping strict with my diet and going full thottle ahead. I am excited at this "new world" that can happen after a body change, better posture, health and losing the gut.
The feedback I got on my face was that I do not look sure of myself on some of the photos I put online.BigSmooth said:In my honest opinion, face is more important than body.
I am not very cogniscant of this. Again, all interesting to know -- if I have a hypothetically ripped body that I'm proud to take of my T-shirt and have an "unsure of myself" facial look with the same type of "off-putting" smile then how far can a good body over-compensate for these things?BigSmooth said:The face and facial expressions and your gaze/stare starts it all off.
Okay, well I have the opposite problem. I started at 250 lbs +. So I'm not going from skinny to gaining muscle weight.OC Speedball said:Happy for you, man. Remember, the more you go to the gym the more you will want to go to the gym. After the first couple weeks it's all downhill.
With that being said, girls do NOT like huge, shredded guys. (Just take a visit over to the bodybuilding.com forums and see how many threads there are with the OP crying about how he got more girls when he was skinny). Most people in this thread have already said this, but I just want to clarify: Girls usually go for the skinnier guys rather than the bigger guys. Someone around 180 lbs. and cut would get a lot more attention than someone who is 220 lbs. Think Brad Pitt in "Snatch" or "Fight Club;" That would be the ideal male physique.
Feel free to provide feedback on my thread on the muscles section if you have any tips about that.Speedball said:Working out and becoming a "sick kunt" has MAJOR benefits besides just the way you look. Being cut is great, although it's not imperative in the game. But what it will do for you is increase testosterone, give you massive confidence, and give you energy. Remember Zyzz guys? Yeah, it can potentially give you that kind of energy, which is a great thing to have when picking up chicks.
Of course. But I'm sure there's a massive ego-boost to have women checking you out or seeing you as a sexy person.Speedball said:It all depends on the girl though. There will always be those outliers that love guys like Ronnie or Jay Cutler, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, skinny emo guys with no muscle. And as a couple of people have said, for an LTR it really doesn't matter. Most guys are flabby or skinnyfat and still get girlfriends. At the end of the day a mixture of face and game is more important.
Exactly, and I bet those women probably got turned off quite a bit. Like I said, the face and your expressions and how you use your gazes are very important, which is why I would rate it 40%.corrector said:The feedback I got on my face was that I do not look sure of myself on some of the photos I put online.
Not very far in my opinion, but there will always be girls that take exception to this rule and they'll say, "even though you look kind of shy, I really LOVE your arms." Stuff like that.I am not very cogniscant of this. Again, all interesting to know -- if I have a hypothetically ripped body that I'm proud to take of my T-shirt and have an "unsure of myself" facial look with the same type of "off-putting" smile then how far can a good body over-compensate for these things?
But doesn't a great body, which comes from working out, also means you have leaner jaws or less fat on your face. Indirectly, your testosterone and energy levels are higher meaning there is less fatigue and better "in the moment" facial presence and more confidence derived from the body.BigSmooth said:Not very far in my opinion, but there will always be girls that take exception to this rule and they'll say, "even though you look kind of shy, I really LOVE your arms." Stuff like that.
If your face is a liability and you are working out to improve your body to get more looks from girls, and are paying money for a PT then it may be a good excuse to forget about working out all together. It's easier to write-off everything, say "I'm a hopeless case" and then quit everything if you find that smoking gun that says there really is no hope.BigSmooth said:Now, I'm not trying to discourage anyone from working out. I'm an athlete myself so I am in the gym frequently, but I'm just telling it like I see it.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Sometimes, yes. You're never going to see a muscular guy with a fat face because that doesn't make sense, but just because your face is lean and isn't fat does not mean it is attractive.corrector said:But doesn't a great body, which comes from working out, also means you have leaner jaws or less fat on your face.
I say it is. When you are working out, you're improving your physique mainly from the neck down. Doing military dumbbell presses aren't necessarily going to make your face any more attractive to women.In other words, is it realistically possible to seperate the face in isolation to the body. It's hard to believe you have a well defined body and then you have a face that totally cancels the effect of it.
Like I said, I'm not trying to discourage people whose faces might not be the most attractive, but I am telling it how it is. You have to work with what you have. If you ask any girl, I will promise you that most would rather take a guy with a sexy face and an average body over a guy with an average face and a sexy body.If your face is a liability and you are working out to improve your body to get more looks from girls, and are paying money for a PT then it may be a good excuse to forget about working out all together. It's easier to write-off everything, say "I'm a hopeless case" and then quit everything if you find that smoking gun that says there really is no hope.
In that sence, with this idea, either I have to work on my face before I improve my body, or write-off my face and quit the gym and not waste my time or money on my body since it would be a fantasy. So, I'd say that this sounds discouraging if it is true.
Oh look, one of those guys... so if my interests are playing video games/computers and stay locked in my basement getting fat and pasty white smelly fag, sometime in the future (for no apparent reason) I will be drowning in hot pussay. Because you know.. I'm just so passionate about what I'm doing.Focusing on yourself, on YOUR interests, and becoming a capable person who can DO things is really the key for attracting others. If you're just doing something for the sole purpose of attracting someone it's not going to work. Find the things that YOU want to do for YOUR life. Then learn those things, become capable at those things, enjoy those things! Others will be attracted to your confidence, they'll want to share your enjoyment of those things, and be a part of your life ...because you HAVE one!
200 lbs seems a bit much for your height. Was your body fat higher when you were 180 cause 180 is a good weight for 5'10".Kawai said:It's an absolute game changer. I'm 5'10" and weigh in at 200lbs @ 13% bodyfat (this fluctuates). I've been working out seriously now for about 10 years and I can say that it opens doors and causes women to approach. When I weighed 180 or less I had to work a lot more.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.