"How To Win Friends and Influence People"

[Carnegie]

Long time reader, first time poster. I finally decided to register to this site. I found this site during the summer and I still consider myself a mild AFC. I made it a goal to achieve "DJism" in the new year. Now that my introduction is done, lets get to the topic .Well, I recently purchased a book called "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie (thats where I got my screen name from if you haven't noticed). I am about half way through the book (Part III Ch 4, to the people who have read it). As I read, I could get a sense of how human relations happened but there are some parts that seem to be "afc" in the book thus far. Parts such as admiting the person is right when he is logically wrong and just going along with him/her when you are actually right because it would make them "feel" bad when you critize them, even if they are wrong. Reading from this site I always thought a DJ is confident about himself that even if he is wrong, he sticks it out and argues for his right. But in this book it tells us to avoid argument even if the person is wrong and believes in himself that he is right, that we should just let it go...Should I continue reading this book? Some parts seem afc and I want to get as far as away from that as possible.

Well any feedback would be nice, and nice to meet all of you.

 

[Ziroh]

The goal of that book is to tell you how to make friends.

Im sure its common uncommon knowledge that when you please someone they are more likely to befriend you. You have to boost other`s egos to make good friends with them.

Arguing over stupid stuff just severe connections and lessens the control you have over someone. You dont have to agree but stop arguing. Then, be a little manipulative and slowly show them how good it would be for them to see the same way you do.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Welcome to the forum.

That book is much more of a business tool than a social tool. Keep that in mind. That said there are tons of ways to make friends because so many people have different personalities, you may take the submissive non argumentative approach if you like, but you don't nessecarily have to.

Acting AFC or DJ is irrevelant when you have the right attitude and outlook on life. Concentrate more on respecting and loving yourself, then others, then you won't even need to question whether something like this is AFC or not, you won't care.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Knicknack]

great book... awesome tool for communicating with people in a way that allows them to respect you.

i would suggest reading it all and actually practicing that skills learned in real life.

while many of the skills taught by Carnegie contradict those taught on this site, it is no reason to not learn them. you must learn to treat friends, family, and colleagues with the techniques taught by Carnegie, and treat women you are dating differently.

i'm not saying that all of the skills from Carnegie are to be ignored when it comes to dating, but you will need to find the perfect balance.

one of the things that Carnegie will help you with is how people are going to perceive your "new self." with change, even for the better, often comes hostility from those around us, even our loved ones. secretely, many people hate to see us succeed. so how can you learn to deal with people who don't see eye to eye with you?

simple, use Carnegie's techniques.