how to weed out a girl who's interested in u and not just cos she likes the attention

[drift_king]

after my bad experience with this oneitis girl i realise now i need to figure out a better way to filter out girls who are genuinely interested in me as oppose to 1s that like the attention.

how do i do this?

read the post below for a synopsis of what my situation with my oneitis was like.

 

[drift_king]

this oneitis girl kept convincing herself from the start that she was only looking to be friends, never explicitly told me this but would say stuff like 'so if we move forward we wont be able to be friends anymore?'

she always met up with me, always agreed to my date arrangements (she didn't see them as dates.. though in her eyes a date is 1 only where the 2 people make out at the end of the night..) always counter offered with another time or later in the same day.

these all seemed like Indicators of high IL.

Never flaked. Always flaked on other people. never me.

But when we finally made out she freaked out saying 'we wont be together, it was a stupid mistake.' then when i said to after 'so u dont want to see me anymore? ' she said 'no' then 1 hour later texts me 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u' i thought it was cos of the alcohol but the next day she still was open to the idea. then the next day offers me different times to meet up then again the following night asking what im doing.

1 would think high IL again. but alas not...

when things went pear shaped, she doesn't want to think about the past good times we had or focus on the night we kissed, and tells me to 'forget' about that night like it never happened and when i keep drawing attention to it she gets annoyed and angry like she wished it never happened. and tells me that 'i was never interested' and 'it was my fault'

is this buyers remorse? its like shes changed her mind since then convincing herself she never liked me to help her get over her 'mistake' and pretending it never happened.

what im asking is not necessarily what to do with this girl as i made another thread about this. but it's about HOW do i weed out girls who are genuinely interested and ones who just want me for the ego boost and attention?

with this girl i cannot tell whether it was genuine or just attention. maybe it was 50/50

they always say never judge a girl by her words only her actions, so her telling me she was 'never interested' i shouldn't read into either?

her actions indicate at one point she was, but now shes changed her mind her truth is she never was and doesn't want to regress back to those times cos it brings bad memories for her.

 

[coronaflash]

ACTIONS NOT WORDS, best filter there is! Focus on what she does not on what she says and all becomes clear. I had to learn that the hard way

 

[drift_king]

if she tells you 'i was never interested in u'.. but 2 weeks ago kissed me then pushed me away saying it was a stupid mistake and we wont be together, can you still judge her actions?

 

[giorgio]

ACTIONS NOT WORDS, best filter there is! Focus on what she does not on what she says and all becomes clear. I had to learn that the hard way

So simple yet so complex and most still can't figure it out. Good advice. Actions, not words

 

[coronaflash]

She kissed you then pushed you away giving reasons why she couldn't be with you. BullSh1t, she wants you to chase her and when you do she acts up.

Just back off and see the results it has, my guess is she will come back looking for more.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

She kissed you then pushed you away giving reasons why she couldn't be with you. BullSh1t, she wants you to chase her and when you do she acts up.

Just back off and see the results it has, my guess is she will come back looking for more.

I agree with this. However, if this goes on for tooooo long it means she has LI cause someone has got to reduce the amount of games.

 

[coronaflash]

Very true, DK should read the ANTIDump posts in the Bible. They really helped me out.

 

[Asasione]

Your still making threads about the same girl! Pushing you away after kissing is a big indicator of LI, she then talks crap about it being a mistake right. Why would a person who is genuinely interested in you do this? Her actions are a bigger indicator than her words; the text she sends you later. You proceed to act like a girly indicisive man by asking her which day she'd like to meet you?

You need to move on with your life and stop analysing this SPECIFIC girls actions to death. She's acting on what she feels it doesn't have to make sense to you, but it makes sense to her. Your trying to understand something illogical with logic, look what its got you, bewildered by her behavior and extremely frustrated. You need to work on your AFC issues because you think emotionally like a woman. In your other thread you were puking your feelings and making endless theories which are counterproductive to your letting go and simply writing it off as a learning experience.

Girls who like you make it easy for you, she didn't. Kisses mean nothing, girls kiss random guys in clubs and other venues for fun. Your attaching alot of meaning to kissing, its a simple act. I've had worse situations and I didn't expend even a fraction of the mental energy you have trying to figure out the girl. I made a mental note not to do it again and I made sure I followed through with my resolution and for gods sake work on your inner game. Don't you have a life beyond this girl, create one.

Your like a broken record that keeps playing the same song. There'll be other girls you need to read the DJ bible and internalise that mentality like your life depends on it and change yourself so that when a great girl comes along you don't screw it up.