How to turn from a loser who is nothing to something?

[SlyDonJuan]

BS,

Dude, I have mentioned previously in my post that I have been working for this term break while waiting for my results. And it looks like I am only feeling not bored when working.

But remember, I dont seem to get more @sses since I could hardly put my skills to use. I just find it difficult to play hard to get,mysterious, unpredictable to attract girls. This is because I have been seeing them everyday and things just got bored.

And do you think working there will get me more friends? No it wont, cause most of them are full of middle/old age people that just don't seem to be having any similar interest/hobbies with me. Don't tell me to look for another job cause this is just the waste of effort cause I can't be changing part-time jobs all the time

Blakis,

To answer your question, I am better than my friends in a way that I have a better family than them. Of course, I am financially stable cause I am from a so-called quite 'wealthy' family. And my so-called 'friends' are better than me in a way that they are more alpha males. I am always overshadowed by those people. Not only that, my enemies are always enjoying looking at me alone because when I suffer, it is a joy to them.

Don't you know how bad it is to be given silent treatment,ignoring, abondan me while they are always in a group? The current friends that I have are just 'friends'. They are not real friends. And these are all the people I have at the moment. I couldn't treat them like sh|t cause if I do, then I will have zero friends. So I am tolerating their nonsense here .

Photo1,

To answer your question, ARGH! I have no gfs at all. NEVER! So guys, just tell me how am I supposed to be able to attract them when they could sense that I am a so-called desperate fuc*king loser searching for gfs who is not wanted by anyone. The problem becomes worse when they know they I have few 'friends'. So who wants to be around a guy like me?

ARGH!!!



[This message has been edited by SlyDonJuan (edited 10-18-2002).]

 

[xSnag]

When I was in college I used to sit at home on the weekends stare at my phone and say to myself,

"Why doesn't anyone call me? Am I a loser?"

I realized one day it wasn't me. After that I got dates, a g/f and a cool on campus job. All I can say is that there is hope. I know it's a conundrum.

As for the g/f thing. After college, i've been depressed at the fact that I haven't had many solid dates. I would sit in bed and go, "All I want in my life is a wife." (Yeah, I know it's pretty AFCish. hahaha) After reading through all the posts I realized that I was focusing on getting a g/f and getting married so much that if everything didn't work out MY WAY. It was the HIGHWAY of Self Pity and I missed opportunities when I was on that road. Guess what? I took the exit off that Highway and people have been asking me? "You seem happy and excited about something lately?" A girl even asked me out for Lunch or Dinner, (of course I ignored her, she's a 7 and an attention w****... gonna wait until it's convenient for me). People do notice your self-esteem.

Some practical advice for you... Join on-campus group that YOU are interested in. Even if it's the chess club/playstation/i only watch Japanese Anime for a living club. Maybe a religious club if you are religious. Anything to get you socializing. Also, go to all the activities for that club and try talking to 3 different ppl each time at any activity and focus on those 3 ppl.. rotate and repeat, go early and leave late. FOR NOW.. talk to everyone, not just girls! If someone asks you, "How are you?" Say either "Good" or "Pretty Good". Don't say, "Okay" or "Woah is me, Life sucks!" Leave that stuff for your journals or God.

Never say, "I'm bored"!

If someone asks, "Are you dating anyone?" Say, "You don't want to know" or "I'll tell you some other time." If someone presses the issue, just say, "I've gone out a couple of times but no serious relationships." Don't go..."i've never had a g/f.. can you be mine or find me one?"

These are some attitude adjustments I have been making the last couple of weeks. They have been helping me out tremendously. It'll take time before I'm a true Don Juan but I'll get there and so will you.

------------------
Yes, I am a recovering Sensitive Nice Asian Guy.

[This message has been edited by xSnag (edited 10-18-2002).]

 

[BS]

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[This message has been edited by BS (edited 10-18-2002).]

 

[BS]

Originally posted by SlyDonJuan:
BS,

Dude, I have mentioned previously in my post that I have been working for this term break while waiting for my results. And it looks like I am only feeling not bored when working.

But remember, I dont seem to get more @sses since I could hardly put my skills to use. I just find it difficult to play hard to get,mysterious, unpredictable to attract girls. This is because I have been seeing them everyday and things just got bored.

And do you think working there will get me more friends? No it wont, cause most of them are full of middle/old age people that just don't seem to be having any similar interest/hobbies with me. Don't tell me to look for another job cause this is just the waste of effort cause I can't be changing part-time jobs all the time

K, i'll post a little more advice. You say you've been working for this term break? How long is that break exactly?

It seems as if you are waking up everyday thinking that something will change overnight. It won't happen. Just work at little things and stop worrying. That's the biggest piece of advice. Start reading some books. Many books have been suggested here (48 laws of power, etc). Make a list of what you are now and where you want to be in 3,6,9 months and a year down the road and WORK at changing. It will take time.

You say you work with older people and won't make friends working here. Well, you won't have to change jobs all of the time, just keep your eyes open for jobs that look interesting and if you see something apply for it and keep trying for a job there.

Remember, changing yourself (appearance/attitude) is like learning to play the guitar. Your going to be crappy and not very good at the start but after awhile you'll start to get better and better. Eventually you'll be able to play songs (pick up girls if you will) with ease...IF YOU WORK AT IT. There will also be many screw up's along the way (rejections) but you've gotta learn from your mistakes.

Now, re-read everyone's posts, re-read the DJ bible and if you really are unhappy, CHANGE and come back here in 3 months, drag up this post and then TELL everyone how you've changed.

-Good Luck!

P.S. My computer is really pissin me off!!


[This message has been edited by BS (edited 10-18-2002).]

 

[LilJuan]

god damn man, and i thought i whined alot about how my life sucks. normally, i would never start a post like this, or really ever say this at all.

but i understand why you feel that way. i have felt that way for a long time, and still do sometime. I b1tch about how things are, about how people are. how people give dont give a rats as$.

There is alot of good advice in this thread and I have seen it several times but had never read it. I am in the same boat as you. I have never had a lot of friends. I have a few close ones but not alot. I didnt know anyone untill this semester. I signed up for a class were I knew I would have to talk and interact with people and there are 22 girls and 5 guys. I have made 3 good friends in that class which are all female. Yes they are just friends and thats fine with me. It gives me a chance to be around girls, talk to them, and most importantly be around and talk to their friends. This tuesday while sitting drinking with two of the girls, one says, I am trying to think of some girls for LilJuan to go out with, and then the other one said the same thing. I played it off but was thinking sweet. One girl said she thought I was stuck up before she knew me. I was really surprised by that and said I was just shy around people I didnt know. I have often wondered what kind of vibe I send out.
I have went to school for 3 years at this university. I would drive from home to school, go to class. Go to my truck and drive home. Each time saying, I wish i knew people. Why dont people like me. Why do they look at me like i'm strange. I would whine and b1tch about things being bad and how they werent ever going to change too. I have been trying for a long time to figure out why I cant go to parties and hang out like other college students do. I have had more fun in the last two weeks going out in the afternoon and drinking with people from class than I have had in the last 3 years. I love it because Iam getting to do a little bit of what I want, be a "normal" college student. There are still people in my class who I dont converse with, now is it me not talking to them, or them not trying to talk to me? Its easy to say its everyone elses fault that no one talks to you. What if the other people are thinking the same thing? No one is going to talk to each other.
People are right, things will not change over night. I have been "trying" to change for a while now. But what have I really been doing? not a damn thing. But will i sit and whine about it? oh heck ya.
I cant give you a cure all, cause I am still starting out myself. But one thing I can say is your attitude and how you feel about yourself, others can sense it to. I dont know how, but they can. My best friends sister, all she does is makes excuses, whines constantly about how things are never going to change, and goes on and on. We give her advice, she says oh that wont work and continues to whine. You know what? I do not want to be around her at all. She has no goals, ambitions or motovation to do anything. and thats not attractive at all.
I read all the time on here about how people say they have changed and how they were just like that a year ago. Its hard for me to imagine that, changing into something i want because I have been something i dont like for so long. Its late, and i will rant some more later. but dont give up man, drop the cynical attitude about the world, it doesnt do anything except hinder your ability to move foward. One thing that was mentioned was talk to a consuler at school. This is a very good idea. You are not the first student or person who feels this way and they will be able to help you some. you might not like the idea of talking to someone, but the way I look at it is, if it can help you get better and help you get what you want, then why the hell not?
good luck

 

[ExZen]

Originally posted by SlyDonJuan:
But I have a serious problem here. Since I have entered college from last year, things got worst.! As a 19 year old guy,I have been ostracized from my peers. I just do not understand why do they give me silent treatment and ignored me. I have been facing this so-called f*cking problem since high school and I don't have a clue why!

Everybody seems to have their own friends together but I don't. The people around me especially my previous schoolmates/classmates and my current collegemates do not wish to associate with me since I have the image of a total loser who has no friends.

Being from college myself, I know how this
feels, more or less. While I haven't been
ostracized, I never really did have a
'successful' social life in college.

But in regards to your previous classmates'
treatment towards you? I don't know if
these previous classmates are in your
college classes, but assuming they aren't,
you have to realize that most often than
not, unless you are 'tight' with your
previous classmates in HS, there's a tendency
for people to drift apart due to a change
in daily routine. Interests change and
with that, new horizons.

Nevertheless, if your previous classmates
treat you like that. LOSE them. Life's
to short to waste on people like them. If
they don't want to correspond or even be
with you, that's their problem. Not yours.
This is a very large world and there are
more people out there that's worth your
time than them.

As for your current collegemates, I seriously
doubt 'all' of them are alienating from you.
There's always more than the two groups that
you've mentioned (jerks and nerds). Hang
around with those that AREN'T in either
groups. That's one way to broaden your
horizons.

Of course, I have few friends but I can't always go to them when I am bored or looking for entertainment.

Why not?

When I look at my peers, they always seem to have something on going for them. They are having a happy life going out and have fun. And me? Staying at home doing nothing but playing with Playstation or surfing the net.

Very reminiscent of me. Actually...
kinda like me right now. But the thing
is, and I'm still trying to grasp this
myself; you can also go out and have a
happy life.

So it's 11.00 a.m on friday, and everyone is out. But I have no where to go. Why? Few friends and I am regarded as a total loser.

Friends... you don't need a lot. Just enough
that you can handle and that you feel
comfortable with. Especially those that
you can trust very much. Useless to have
100 friends when most of them you wouldn't
trust.. of course, we wouldn't call them
friends. would we?

But seriously, avoid those who call you
a loser. Of course, if this is just
some self-perception (ie. you feel
people think you are a loser, and not
actually hearing others calling you
one) you need to re-affirm yourself.
Yes, it's hard. I'm right now in
the position of re-affirming myself
each day.

I can't tolerate this any longer. Of course, I know my peers would probably think that I am different from them cause I am not a jerk like they do. So I have been isolated from them.

Let me emphasize this phrase. "probably
think" You don't know for sure unless
they've explicitly told you. Perhaps
you need to look at it more deeply; in
other words, figure out why you've been
isolated from them. College is a very
big place and with A LOT of students
running around. They can't ALL isolate
you.

And what pretty upsets me is, I am a person who has few friends so I can hardly get access to getting any girls.

You're only in your freshman year. It takes
at least half a year to establish any
links with anyone else around you. Provided
that you try.

going to date me since the aura of desperation is circling around me.

Lose the desperation. It's only a couple
of months after the beginning of your
freshman term, it's WAY to early to be
desperate.

Everyone around me regards me as a useless id|ot who has no friends or gfs to the extreme that my own family members said that to me!!.

Sure in a joking (albeit cruel) way?!
But regardless. Let them think what they
will. You're still young and have PLENTY
of time for relationships. Friends..
you will find. G/Fs. You will find.
BUT, it is on YOUR own time, and ON
your own free will. You should not be
'bullied' into thinking that you need
a g/f right now.

what I have learnt here. It's been a while since I have actually pickup someone. And for my so-called enemies in school and college, they are having a good time laughing at me for facing such terrible situation in my life. They are happy !.

Let them laugh all they want. Ignore
their shallow insecure laughter. You have
your own agenda to fulfill. You do well
in college and by the time you graduate,
and get a job, you'll get your own
chance to laugh back at them. But like
I said, it's still early in your post
high-school phase to make any harsh
judgements on your peers.

Nevertheless, do not depend too much
on your peer's approval. Think
and act independently, but in times of
trouble ask for help. It's during these
times, you will be able to find out who's
for real and who isn't. Then stick with
those who are real and ditch those who
aren't.

True. It's really easy to say this. It's
another to actually do it. But once
you keep your faith and work at your
confidence/independence, people will
start looking at you differently.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no DJ.. not yet.
Just learning myself, but the above, I
picked up from here and there. I'm
still working at my own life.

Btw, what major are you in?

EZ

 

[Itsatisfies]

Here is some really good advice for you. Go to some resturaunts in town, find one that seems to be busy alot and also has a lot of Hotties working there, then apply for a job waiting tables. THis will help ya out immensly as you will be working with the public a good bit, and having hotties as coworkers will help ease the "tension" of talking to good looking girls and trying to get their numbers. Plus all the resturaunts I"ve ever worked in have usually been pretty wild, a lot of drugs, sex, and rock and roll, truly the American dream.

 

[Glide]

People...EVERYONE.... Stop giving him advise...Here is the problem
1. Your Depressed.
Thats it, plain and simple....He is suffering from depression. It doesn't take a clinical psychologist to diagnose that. I did it in about 1 minute...No advise is going to help him...

Dude, there is only one thing you can do. Go seek a professional. End of story, end of topic. Your welcome

 

[Hawkeye]

Here's what you need to do.

1- Start working out. dont worry no ones looking at you, everyones doing their own thing in a gym....and do it regularily. 5 days a week.

2- Get a job. any one, just get one, whether it's washing dishes or sweeping floors.

3- Smile more, be 'happy'.

4- Join a club of what you like to do. computers ? photography ? aviation ? chess ? just do it, it gives you a great excuse to socialize.

5- if someone, includign a family member gives you ****. just look em in the eye, and give them the middle finger, turn around and walk away.

6- Try playing raquet ball....there isnt a better stress reliever that ive found to date.

7- Stop masturbating so much, and start running.

8- Get a hobby auther than video games.

9- dress up, shave, prep up your appearances. Look good...look your best ANY TIME.


Why do i give advise ? because although i got a lot of friends, i still dont have a girlfriend... not the biggest thing, cause i am an introvert by nature, but im working towards being more sociable.

Good luck.

 

[stever]

Sounds exactly like me when I was in university. My advice:

- get out to the gym regularly and work on your appearance....

- buy some good clothes...the best that you can afford & try to develop your own sense of style....to start off just find someone that you like the way they dress & copy them...then add your own touches....same goes for your grooming...always look the best you can...

- Join sports, clubs that you have an interest in....you need to get out of your comfort zone and start to meet new people & make new friends..

- Stay away from the negative people who bring you down...leave the jerks from the past behind...

- If you have the time, get a part time job....work as a bartender or in a restauraunt to earn some extra cash...or consider volunteer work or working on a political campaign...

- get rid of the PlayStation...

- when you meet new people look them in the eye and be confident...manage your attitude...

If you start doing these things regularly, you will see improvements - of course, these changes don`t happen over night..it takes time - so be patient...give yourself until the end of the year to work on things and I think that by the New Year things will start to improve...

Steve

 

[affirmed]

It's one thing to ask for advice, but you have to take it or actually LISTEN to it. You're not doing that. You've already made up your mind you can't change, you've told yourself it over and over and over and you're self-sabotaging yourself. Any advice is lost on you because you're not truely taking it in.

I know, it's hard, but that's how it is. I still have lots of problems with my life as a whole, I need to fill it up, I get nervous, but I know THE REASONS behind this and I know it's UP TO ME NOBODY ELSE to change. People are happy to help somebody in need, people are REPELLED by those who just whine ALL THE TIME.

In fact this is probably a reason you don't get on too well at college.

Also, another tip: Analyse exactly what you are really like at college... There is one guy at the college I'm at who would be fine, but for the fact that he is SO QUIET, he just projects being a loser so strongly, he's all "Uhhhh errrr uhh" in a mousy tone. This is a pretty big guy but because of that it's very hard for anybody to WANT TO MAKE THE EFFORT to talk to him.

If you have a quiet voice FAKE CONFIDENCE and make sure you talk clearly and confidently. That is one nuts and bolts change you CAN MAKE. Look in the mirror right now, say "I have a deep resonant voice that projects confidence. People will like me!"

Did you do it?

"But I can't. That would be stupid. I don't think that would do anything. After all, I know all the things that would never ever ever work. Everybody who has a life that works just got lucky... blah blah blah"

JUST DO IT!

I'd say the advice from everybody else in this thread was wasted, but of course it wasn't. I've found some great nuggets of wisdom in here which I intend to put to use as best I can right away, and I'm sure lots of other people have too. Our thread starter however will probably reply to this post with something like:

"Come on guys... nobody likes me. I can't do that. Give me some more replies [attention]"

Yada yada!

 

[szof]

The other guys have made some excellent posts pointing you in the right direction. I think the most crucial thing is to stop viewing other people as sources of comfort and validation. Stop worrying about what other people think of you and focus on improving yourself.

Improve mentally: keep up with your work in school, do some reading on the side - Machiavelli, Nietzsche, Sun Tzu come to mind.

Improve socially: take what you've learned here and from the books and use the world as your classroom. Talk to everyone. If they reject you, take note of how they did it and brush it off. They are mere apparatii in your laboratory.

Improve physically: eat alot, lift weights, get big.

Other people will come, it will take a while but it will happen.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by Glide:
People...Here is the problem

1. Your Depressed

Thats it, plain and simple....

Dude, there is only one thing you can do. Go seek a professional. End of story.

I agree with your diagnosis.

The problem with "a professional" is that professionals come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and textures, and some may be helpful whereas others may be harmful.

For instance, a talk-therapist may target and broaden his awareness of the sources of his anger and depression.

A group therapist may observe and comment on his interactions with other group members, calling to his attention subtle and not so subtle behaviors that affect the quality and result of his interactions.

A pill-pusher may give him a little something to treat the blues. He can pop one once or twice a day and after about a month feel different. The tradeoff is he'll have to deal with side-effects.

Professionals can be great and they can be a waste of time. If you hire one, a couple, or several to help you out of this, do NOT expect them to solve your problems. YOU have to do that for yourself, and all of these cool things we mention (exercise, clubs, meeting new people) are what you and the therapists will use to see it happen.

Oh, and don't adopt a "I've tried all of this and nothing is going to work attitude" because that is bullsh't. It is easy to make excuses when you are not happy with your life. I have been there and although my life is not one hundred percent better right now, I cannot complain about an eighty percent improvement.

I've already given you my long, exhaustive list of things you can do and I will not repeat it. You are depressed. "Professional help"... therapy can be helpful, but you must couple it with some of the things I listed to help you. If you isolate and live in a box, no "professional" in the world will help you improve your social skills. It's like when all these Dons talk about this theory or that theory of being a PUA and Nick tells them to go out and get field experience. You are not going to improve, no matter how read you are or how motivated you are, if you do not get off your a$$ and apply yourself. You ain't trying to be a PUA, but the same rules apply. Get off your a$$.

DWK

[This message has been edited by Don-Wan Kenobi (edited 10-19-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Don-Wan Kenobi (edited 10-19-2002).]

 

[TK]

SlyDonJuan,

I hear you man. Re read the posts above. Consider getting some professional help. I feel the same way sometimes too but you just need to get your ass off that chair in front of your computer and get out there. Forget what people think about you. Forget who you used to be in the past. You shall become who you think you are. If you think you're a looser, you WILL be a looser and people will see the looser in you. But, if you refuse to let negative thoughts take over you and stay true to your heart, you will be able to change yourself. Its not going to be easy. Self-betterment will be one of the biggest challanges you will undertake in your life time but you will succeed and it will all be worth it. Why am I saying all this? I'm not giving you any solid advice and I'm not giving you any set of concrete set of methods to use because it's all about your ATTITUDE.

TK

[This message has been edited by TK (edited 10-19-2002).]

 

[Glide]

Yup...
I think giving him advise might be very harmfull in the long run. Depression is a serious issue that no amount of confidence and new clothes is going to fix. He can wear armani and lift weights while listening to motivational tapes till the cows come home, but its not going to do sh it. Its a simple chemical imbalance.

Dude, your young and still in college-and Im assuming your insured under your parents right? Go seek treatment. Its free, your scripts/meds are free. Take adventage of it before its too late

 

[Future DJ King]

What the guys have given you here is a wealth of valuable info. the only thing I can add is that it is vital you get real-life expieriance with women outside of your school. If you mess up with women nobody knows (like that cute waitress at your fav. restaurant) nobody can hold it against you. And you can't try to hard to be a guy's friend or he may think you are uncool/gay.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by Glide:


Depression is... a simple chemical imbalance.

Drug treatment should be a last resort. Chemical imbalances are by no means simple. The drug manufacturers themselves have little insight into how any their products actually work - read the inserts that come with the products if you don't believe me. Lily and company are fairly honest about how little they know if you read the fine print. Reported side-effects of drugs vary with the individual and range from mild to intolerable.

I have met many people who have abandoned drug therapy for lifestyle changes (relationships, therapy related exercises, physical exercise, and dietary changes) and have made complete turn-arounds. They have become happier, healthier, and generally more attractive people.

I know of many others who take their pills religiously and claim to "need them," and yet I see little change in their affect. Little change in the quality of their lives. Some of them are doing a lot worse. I bet they will continue taking the drugs until they (1) become severely depressed, (2) are no longer be able to afford them, or (3) see the light and start taking better care of themselves.

I know of some people who need the meds to function. I feel deep down inside that our friend does not belong in this category. Any benefit of drug therapy will be short-lived for him in that it will create a window of opportunity for him to start following our advice and getting better... he probably doesn't even need drugs to accomplish this. The doctor will tell him how drugs take the edge off and give him more energy. They'll loosen him up and make him feel more himself. So won't a few beers or a smoke, but nobody would hesitate to point out the downside of excessive alcohol and mj consumption... these pills aren't much different.


Sadly we are seeing more and more people who do not need drugs being encouraged and even coerced into taking them.

If swallowing a few pills could improve the quality of life for everyone, who wouldn't be taking them?

DJing ain't about finding a quick fix.

Our advice sounds simple. Sounds like we're not getting at the heart of the problem but only edging around it and patronizing our friend who is struggling. But a lot of the people giving advice have been where he is now (self included) and some of us have spent years escaping that life and have tried and tested everything in the process.

DWK

 

[SlyDonJuan]

Glide,

I agree with what you said. Yes, I am feeling depressed. The problem here is the people have been making me feel bad about myself. I just do not know why , but it looks like I can't control it.

And you want me to seek professional people? No way! I am not insane.! and I am not taking any F*CKING pills!. It is sad cause I do not know why I am so unlucky. ARGH!

Btw Glide, are you a psychologist/ psychiatrist?

 

[WizardOfOz]

Sly there is one thing that has boosted my confidence so much that I think it will be able to break you out of your mental state.

Hit the gym. Do weights or cardio (whatever is most appropriate for your body).

And while you're at it increase your Omega-3 intake. Depression is a symptom of low Omega-3 levels. Some good sources are salmon, tuna, avacado, almonds and linseed/flaxseed.

Oh yeah and temporarily forget about the women. I felt like you (not quite as intense) back in Feb of this year. I started working on myself in the gym and within two months I noticed a big difference and started feeling a lot better about myself. That translated into me smiling a lot more. People (guys and gals) at work started to notice the changes.

After a couple more months, I managed to inspire 4 guys and 2 gals to start going to the gym. Myself and 5 other guys at work recently had a little bodybuilding competition (which I won). I'm now seen as a positve source of energy, an inspiration and a bit of a mentor.

Are people happier to see me now than in the past? Yes.
Do people want to come and talk to me? Yes. Do people respect me more now? Yes.
Do I love everyday that I spend at work? Yes.
Have workmates introduced me to female friends that I've had a bit of fun with? Yes.
Has all of this flowed into every aspect of my life? Yes.
Was my decision to start working out the single most life changing decision in my life? Yes.
Are you going to stop whining/complaining get off your arse and do something to improve your life? Yes.

 

[madslackin]

Originally posted by SlyDonJuan:
And you want me to seek professional people? No way! I am not insane.! and I am not taking any F*CKING pills!. It is sad cause I do not know why I am so unlucky. ARGH!

Sly,

Do us all a favor and stop f*cking whining. I normally would not reply to a thread like this but you are SO PATHETIC that I have to.

It seems like you like to whine about how bad you have it or how much you're a loser, all the while not taking ANY advice from the people here who are trying to help. Probably every other reply to this post has suggested you go to a gym. Have you done that? Have you even thought about taking any of this advice and actually DOING what is suggested?

And would you please stop talking about @ss! You basically say yourself that you have nothing to offer.. why then does it surprise you that you have never been popular with the ladies (or anyone, for that matter).

Were you spoiled as a child? I'm betting that's a huge yes and it's not helping your case much here. I, for one, have zero sympathy for your plight. You're so bored? Get off your @ss and do something! Try some of the things that have been suggested to you in this thread.

No friends? Do it yourself. Maybe even learn to like yourself. How can someone else be expected to like you if you don't even like yourself?

P.S. I hope this post makes you want to kick my ass.. that's the point. Stop whining like a little b*tch and try to at least pretend you are male and have balls.

Thank you.