Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to treat women: a theory

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
You hear time and time again that you must be dominant over your woman. What does that mean anyway? A lot of people mistake that as meaning you must be bossy, pushy, harsh and even so far as angry when the woman does something wrong. This is a very incorrect assumption. Lets take a look at the dictionary definition of the word "dominant"

1. ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command.
2. occupying or being in a commanding or elevated position.
3. predominant; main; major; chief: Corn is the dominant crop of Iowa.
4. Genetics. of or pertaining to a dominant.
5. Music. pertaining to or based on the dominant: the dominant chord.

No where in the definition does it explain how you reach this position. Being dominant over your woman does not mean you are to be mean to her. It means you must communicate to the woman who is going to be the leader. Pack leaders are not aggressive, angry or bossy. Lower members of the pack are not fearful of the pack leader, but rather respectful. The pack leader is the stronger minded being, calm but very firm. They set rules and they expect them to be followed. They set boundaries and they expect them not to be crossed. They place limits on what the others are allowed and not allowed to do and they expect everyone to stay within the limits. Pack leaders are not dominant-aggressive, they are calm-assertive.


Women need a dominant, alpha leader, a being who is calm and very strong-minded. Women instinctually crave this leadership and guidance. Size means nothing. It is all about energy. All about how the being is feeling inside. Unstable men make unstable women. A man who lacks confidence will not have a woman who listens to their commands.

If you find yourself correcting your woman with anger, you are not being a good pack leader. Your woman should never fear you. You are looking for respect from your woman, not fear. When a woman respects you they will happily want to follow you. One cannot accomplish this respect using fear and aggression.


Many women today develop issues for several reasons:

In order to be alpha over a woman you must make the woman understand what it is you are communicating to them. This means you have to stop thinking man and start thinking woman. How would one woman tell another woman what they wanted. Do they start yelling and screaming at one another. No, women don’t generally work directly, logically would not be the answer. Being a woman is a very instinctual, natural thing. When a woman is treated like a man or a little toy the woman can either lose, or often never learn, their real sense of being. This can cause catastrophic damage to them mentally and emotionally. So many people corrupt their women in this way that we mans start seeing the resulting abnormal behaviors as woman traits, when really they are disturbed or unstable women.

Women from single mommy households often have unstable mothers and unstable women around them. The women are locked in “cages” where there is not enough room to act on their natural instincts. The mother women are often fearful. Since the mother woman is not stable she is not able to naturally teach her children the way a stable woman would. These pups never learn major keys in the instinct of being a feminine woman. It is like a baby squirrel not having a mother to teach it how to survive out in the wilderness. The lessons are not being passed down from one animal to the next. Single mommy household women often come with pre-existing issues that are NOT born traits but results of unfortunate upbringings. The women lose their natural balance, and you as their owner need to bring it back for them.

Then there are the women that were born to good families with stable parents. These girl are off to a good start until they get home with their new men, with all good intentions, treat them like little babies. They do not teach the girl the rules or give them boundaries and limitations, everything the girl does is "cute" and laughed at. They are not taught to properly when they are young. They are not taught to follow. They are not properly communicated with. They are treated so much like a man that they begin to lose parts of their natural instinct. These instincts are not lost forever, just unable to be used because the resources around them are all wrong for her and the woman becomes unstable. However the men still do not recognize that the woman is unstable, and the woman is just assumed to have these quirky traits, when really the woman is going crazy inside. Women were not meant to be little men. They are little females.

Even worse, there are products of single mommies who were never taught from their mothers how to be a woman, and then brought home to men who toss more of the same onto them.


Our job as woman owners is to give the women back their natural instincts. Treat them like women not like little men so they can be the loving supportive women they were born to be, allowing them to be mentally stable.

Do not push your woman around, be your woman’s calm, but firm and confident leader so they can look to you for guidance, and respect will follow. Bullying does not work. Anger does not work. Being pushy does not work. Learn a woman's body language and what it means. Learn what they are telling you with their body language. Learn how to tell things back to them in a way they naturally understand. Satisfy their natural instincts. Give them what they need to be balanced people. Your woman is telling you a lot, are you listening?


Shamelessly stolen and modified from the following website: http://dogbreedinfo.com/articles/dominanthumans.htm
 

crazyboy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
236
Reaction score
11
Seriously wtf. I know may be too young for this forum. But thats a load of crap we don't own women. and worst your comparing a dog to a woman. as inteligent as dogs are there still dumb compare to humans. so comparsion is mute. I see that change to fit the our purpose but no. Women want strong confident man and all that jazz. Women are think with there feelings, so things like anger, fear are a good things in a small degree. Fear is what keep you in charge and what keep people in line. anger show your passion.
You know how you should treat women simiple be yourself and show your true masculine nature. That is all.
 

KarmaSutra

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
4,834
Reaction score
143
Age
50
Location
Padron Reserve maduro in hand while finishing my b
What's silly is listening to a 21 year old spout off about anything as Gospel.

With the exception of who you prefer; Team Jacob or Team Edward, shut up about man talk.

Brother Scrouds has made a very good overview of a healthy masculine/feminine dynamic.

Our relationships are actually very similar to canine behavior. A cat lover would never know this. Especially a 21 year young one.

In each of my healthiest, most learned relationships, I cultivated a strong masculine presence for her to feed off of from the start. I didn't wait one goddamned second for her to make a decision for me. I led her. I didn't put her on a leash (a collar, to be sure, but that's a story for Saturday night Brother!). What I did, which amazed her, was remain exactly who I am. Unapologetically and unabashedly the bald, tattooed, cursing bastard she met at the start.

She believes in me because I say what I mean, and do what I say. I give her the option to leave me any time she wants. Her choices and decisions are her own. So are the repercussions. As are mine. We have an understanding and a trust in each other money could never buy.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
crazyboy said:
Seriously wtf. I know may be too young for this forum. But thats a load of crap we don't own women. and worst your comparing a dog to a woman. as inteligent as dogs are there still dumb compare to humans. so comparsion is mute. I see that change to fit the our purpose but no. Women want strong confident man and all that jazz. Women are think with there feelings, so things like anger, fear are a good things in a small degree. Fear is what keep you in charge and what keep people in line. anger show your passion.
You know how you should treat women simiple be yourself and show your true masculine nature. That is all.
fear? Guess you gave up reading somewhere in the middle and ran with your assumptions. Let me paste in the end:

Do not push your woman around, be your woman’s calm, but firm and confident leader so they can look to you for guidance, and respect will follow. Bullying does not work. Anger does not work. Being pushy does not work. Learn a woman's body language and what it means. Learn what they are telling you with their body language. Learn how to tell things back to them in a way they naturally understand. Satisfy their natural instincts. Give them what they need to be balanced people. Your woman is telling you a lot, are you listening?
You remind me of an old me. When I first started down the path of self improvement, I latched onto the idea that *******s get girls. Like many men that start out, I became an ******* and was dismayed that I wasn't dragging pûssy back to my cave. Anger is not an effective tool. In fact, it is an indication of a man that isn't in control at that time.

But fear? You want to make women fear you? Why? Have you ever been in a healthy relationship? There shouldn't be fear in your woman's eyes. An alternating amount of lust and respect is a lot better.

Now I will strangle anyone that ever says the key to getting chicks is to "be yourself. Its the biggest load of BS anyone ever heaps onto the aspiring man. You are who you make yourself, and if "being yourself" worked, they wouldn't be trying to improve themselves.

Likewise "show your true masculine nature" sounds like a great line. But most boys (and myself was included) are taught at an early age to supress their masculine natures. It will take a lot of effort to release them. I know I was medicated out of it for 10 years of my growing life.


I was in your position at one time. It was a hard process, but you have to open your mind. Read what is being said, and analyse it without preconceived notion. Many people that own dogs don't show dominance over them. Look at all the chicks with the toy dogs. Watch both's body language and it will be clear as day who the master is and who the servant is.

Like canines, women are natural followers. It is embedded in them to first seek out, then follow strong men. Like canines, women will assume the leadership role in a power vacuum. But they aren't as happy as they would be following. It is more stressful. The relationship is much more likely to fail. Feel free to read about the sorry state of marriage now and come back.

I was surprised how much this worked. I took out 2 sentences, and changed dog to woman and human to man. The fundamentals are the same. We are all just animals deep down inside. Furthermore, we are pack animals. We group together for our collective benefit. This is why this works.
 

bugsquish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
569
Reaction score
13
Age
44
Location
UK
Good post. I think this is something a lot of people struggle with. The words 'dominance' and 'agression' are really misunderstood at lower levels. Especially with all of the borderline misogyny that floats around these forums.

Being 'dominant' is about taking charge, making decisions, controlling the frame, standing your ground, and being cool and confident the whole time. Being 'agressive' is about taking chances, making it clear what you want, and taking action to achieve it.

None of these are negative traits. There is no bullying or pushy behavior. Just an alpha doing his thing. This is the kind of leadership behavior that makes other men respect you, and women want to please you.
 

women haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
487
Reaction score
23
I find it hard to bring out the dominant, because when I do....Women percieve me as being a Jerk, and won't take me seriously..

Then I get angry and don't even say anything anymore, stay quiet

I am trying to Master this, but im failing at it...I will keep trying though but to be dominant to put your hand around a female I feel like i make them seem like i am creepy.

Good Post though This will have to be bookmarked
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
crazyboy said:
as inteligent as dogs are there still dumb compare to humans. so comparsion is mute.
A dog is wiser than a woman; it won't bark at its master.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,125
Reaction score
5,447
samspade said:
A dog is wiser than a woman; it won't bark at its master.

dogs stay loyal no matter what, women don't
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
women haze said:
I find it hard to bring out the dominant, because when I do....Women percieve me as being a Jerk, and won't take me seriously..

Then I get angry and don't even say anything anymore, stay quiet

I am trying to Master this, but im failing at it...I will keep trying though but to be dominant to put your hand around a female I feel like i make them seem like i am creepy.

Good Post though This will have to be bookmarked
There will be growing pains. There will be people that you've known for a long time that can't handle the fact that you're different. There's always backlash to change.

Of course you could have easily fallen into the jerk / false confidence bit. Do you have some examples of your behaviour change and their responses.

Also, do you have any naturally strong, dominant friends? If not, make some.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
Robert28 said:
dogs stay loyal no matter what, women don't
Do they? My landlord has a dog. If you don't watch it, he leaves the backyard and wanders around. Usually won't come when called, at least not at first. How's that for loyalty?

I've spoken to police officers that have K9 units. Work dogs like that are generally chosen and trained to be dominant. Then they train the handler to always be dominant over the dog. He said that if he was in a fight, and the dog was released, it would attack whoever is on the bottom. So much for loyalty there.

Loyalty does not exist in a vacuum. It is inseperable from dominance. It applies to women, it applies to dogs, it applies to men. Nobody's going to follow a stuttering computer programmer into battle.
 

crazyboy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
236
Reaction score
11
KarmaSutra said:
What's silly is listening to a 21 year old spout off about anything as Gospel.

With the exception of who you prefer; Team Jacob or Team Edward, shut up about man talk.

Brother Scrouds has made a very good overview of a healthy masculine/feminine dynamic.

Our relationships are actually very similar to canine behavior. A cat lover would never know this. Especially a 21 year young one.

In each of my healthiest, most learned relationships, I cultivated a strong masculine presence for her to feed off of from the start. I didn't wait one goddamned second for her to make a decision for me. I led her. I didn't put her on a leash (a collar, to be sure, but that's a story for Saturday night Brother!). What I did, which amazed her, was remain exactly who I am. Unapologetically and unabashedly the bald, tattooed, cursing bastard she met at the start.

She believes in me because I say what I mean, and do what I say. I give her the option to leave me any time she wants. Her choices and decisions are her own. So are the repercussions. As are mine. We have an understanding and a trust in each other money could never buy.
As age has anything to do with maturity because you are older don't make you right. Still comparing people to a dog is not going get into any where with male and female dymanics. Because an animals that lick it own azz and jump with joy just because you through it a bone. And for your jack ass comment about that stupid vampire movie seriouly grow up. I'm probably more of man than you ever be. I also love how your only agruement against me is that im 21. I never came to forum to figure how to get laid and get into realtionship. I came to forum so i can make a realtionship more meaniful for me.

He would been better off comparing ape realtionship and instead of dog realtionship to human being.

Also since your so well in thought and mature. why do feel you need to try to degrade my view. I mean a more mature person would simiply disagree and prove why. Instead throwing out sensless insult.

I disagree with the comparsion not overall thought of the article.
 

crazyboy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
236
Reaction score
11
scrouds said:
fear? Guess you gave up reading somewhere in the middle and ran with your assumptions. Let me paste in the end:



You remind me of an old me. When I first started down the path of self improvement, I latched onto the idea that *******s get girls. Like many men that start out, I became an ******* and was dismayed that I wasn't dragging pûssy back to my cave. Anger is not an effective tool. In fact, it is an indication of a man that isn't in control at that time.

But fear? You want to make women fear you? Why? Have you ever been in a healthy relationship? There shouldn't be fear in your woman's eyes. An alternating amount of lust and respect is a lot better.

Now I will strangle anyone that ever says the key to getting chicks is to "be yourself. Its the biggest load of BS anyone ever heaps onto the aspiring man. You are who you make yourself, and if "being yourself" worked, they wouldn't be trying to improve themselves.

Likewise "show your true masculine nature" sounds like a great line. But most boys (and myself was included) are taught at an early age to supress their masculine natures. It will take a lot of effort to release them. I know I was medicated out of it for 10 years of my growing life.


I was in your position at one time. It was a hard process, but you have to open your mind. Read what is being said, and analyse it without preconceived notion. Many people that own dogs don't show dominance over them. Look at all the chicks with the toy dogs. Watch both's body language and it will be clear as day who the master is and who the servant is.

Like canines, women are natural followers. It is embedded in them to first seek out, then follow strong men. Like canines, women will assume the leadership role in a power vacuum. But they aren't as happy as they would be following. It is more stressful. The relationship is much more likely to fail. Feel free to read about the sorry state of marriage now and come back.

I was surprised how much this worked. I took out 2 sentences, and changed dog to woman and human to man. The fundamentals are the same. We are all just animals deep down inside. Furthermore, we are pack animals. We group together for our collective benefit. This is why this works.
I guess i got more hung up on the comparsion. But i agree with you that yes woman are natural follower and men should be more dominant. I dont mean fear as i kill you fear. fear as in you don't have controlled of me and you going have to work to keep me fear. Kinda like a boss and employee realtionship. This dynamic works because employee may respect his boss but he do what he's said ,because of fear of losing his jobs. As woman do as there told in losing you. Anger good or bad depending on why your angry. Being angry because you girl out her friend is bad way of showing it. But being angry when you feel you been wrong is different. you can be angry without screaming and yelling. You just doing in way you said before in calm but assertive tone. I have more respect for you and your opinion by the way you present yourself. Karma is not going get any respect from me , if he think because he little more hair chest. But all in all after reading fresh eyes you do make some sinces.

Ps. as being yourself i meant be your more masculine self. being yourself get you no where in life.
 

iqqi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
5,141
Reaction score
82
Location
Beyond your peripheral vision
crazyboy, you can't post here without being 25, so your posts will probably get deleted. Which is a shame, as you bring an interesting alternate viewpoint to this thread.

crazyboy to karma said:
As age has anything to do with maturity because you are older don't make you right. Still comparing people to a dog is not going get into any where with male and female dymanics. Because an animals that lick it own azz and jump with joy just because you through it a bone. And for your jack ass comment about that stupid vampire movie seriouly grow up. I'm probably more of man than you ever be. I also love how your only agruement against me is that im 21. I never came to forum to figure how to get laid and get into realtionship. I came to forum so i can make a realtionship more meaniful for me.

He would been better off comparing ape realtionship and instead of dog realtionship to human being.

Also since your so well in thought and mature. why do feel you need to try to degrade my view. I mean a more mature person would simiply disagree and prove why. Instead throwing out sensless insult.

I disagree with the comparsion not overall thought of the article.
crazyboy to scrouds said:
I guess i got more hung up on the comparsion. But i agree with you that yes woman are natural follower and men should be more dominant. I dont mean fear as i kill you fear. fear as in you don't have controlled of me and you going have to work to keep me fear. Kinda like a boss and employee realtionship. This dynamic works because employee may respect his boss but he do what he's said ,because of fear of losing his jobs. As woman do as there told in losing you. Anger good or bad depending on why your angry. Being angry because you girl out her friend is bad way of showing it. But being angry when you feel you been wrong is different. you can be angry without screaming and yelling. You just doing in way you said before in calm but assertive tone. I have more respect for you and your opinion by the way you present yourself. Karma is not going get any respect from me , if he think because he little more hair chest. But all in all after reading fresh eyes you do make some sinces.

Ps. as being yourself i meant be your more masculine self. being yourself get you no where in life.
 

Tony T

Don Juan
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
51
Reaction score
3
Horrible grammer...and who can understand what the hell you are saying with those run on sentences?

Please proof your post before posting.

crazyboy said:
Seriously wtf. I know may be too young for this forum. But thats a load of crap we don't own women. and worst your comparing a dog to a woman. as inteligent as dogs are there still dumb compare to humans. so comparsion is mute. I see that change to fit the our purpose but no. Women want strong confident man and all that jazz. Women are think with there feelings, so things like anger, fear are a good things in a small degree. Fear is what keep you in charge and what keep people in line. anger show your passion.
You know how you should treat women simiple be yourself and show your true masculine nature. That is all.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,773
Reaction score
960
Age
80
Location
Australia
Dear Tony,
You are just fine......I think your thoughts most appropriate.......This whole idea of Women being like suits,one size fits all is crazy,they are as different as the clouds in the sky....sure there are generalisations one may make,and yeah you can group some of them into a number of types...If you want to control the frame,try Asian Women,particularly Mainland Chinese....So yeah demure,Yes Sir no Sir three bags full Sir,and then down the track you look around and think Whoops who is controlling Whom?...the problem with control is that it involves responsibility...Me?If she wants to walk in front organise everything,then as long as she comes across with the goodies,who cares?
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,887
Reaction score
8,605
scrouds said:
Now I will strangle anyone that ever says the key to getting chicks is to "be yourself. Its the biggest load of BS anyone ever heaps onto the aspiring man. You are who you make yourself, and if "being yourself" worked, they wouldn't be trying to improve themselves.
Well, you better get ready to strangle me because I happen to think "Be yourself" is great advice. You just can't be your wimp sissy self, you have to be your real man self. You've got testosterone, I firmly believe your real man is hidden within you, you just have to unleash it. Be the man you were meant to be, be that self.

Here's a great example of "Be yourself". A lot of guys can talk to girls they aren't attracted to, and get interest from a lot of those girls. But when they talk to a girl they perceive as being hot, they freeze up, or treat them differently. They can't really be themselves, like they are being with the girls they aren't attracted to. They need to relax and be natural (be themselves), instead of nervous or too try hard.

But I agree that clueless guys will hear "Be yourself" and go WTF? They just don't understand the full meaning.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
zekko said:
Well, you better get ready to strangle me because I happen to think "Be yourself" is great advice. You just can't be your wimp sissy self, you have to be your real man self. You've got testosterone, I firmly believe your real man is hidden within you, you just have to unleash it. Be the man you were meant to be, be that self.

Here's a great example of "Be yourself". A lot of guys can talk to girls they aren't attracted to, and get interest from a lot of those girls. But when they talk to a girl they perceive as being hot, they freeze up, or treat them differently. They can't really be themselves, like they are being with the girls they aren't attracted to. They need to relax and be natural (be themselves), instead of nervous or too try hard.

But I agree that clueless guys will hear "Be yourself" and go WTF? They just don't understand the full meaning.
Zekko,

Your take on "Be yourself" is closer to the SS/"Be the man you want to be" dogma, because you're challenging men to summon their inner Real Man. Yes, no matter how much you reinvent yourself you're still drawing from the "Self" nature gave you, but we all know that doesn't consign you to the Wuss heap of manhood.

"Be yourself" is another Matrix word, like "nice guy" and "White Knight" and, yes, "Matrix." We use it in its most conventional and hackneyed form because, unfortunately, that's the way it's tossed around by most of society these days. When most people use it, they mean, don't change a thing and people will love you for who you are. That's lazy advice, an easy fix to the ego, but in the long run it doesn't challenge the individual to learn, correct, and improve.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
zekko said:
Well, you better get ready to strangle me because I happen to think "Be yourself" is great advice. You just can't be your wimp sissy self, you have to be your real man self. You've got testosterone, I firmly believe your real man is hidden within you, you just have to unleash it. Be the man you were meant to be, be that self.
Be yourself. But don't be yourself. But be yourself.

zekko said:
Here's a great example of "Be yourself". A lot of guys can talk to girls they aren't attracted to, and get interest from a lot of those girls. But when they talk to a girl they perceive as being hot, they freeze up, or treat them differently. They can't really be themselves, like they are being with the girls they aren't attracted to. They need to relax and be natural (be themselves), instead of nervous or too try hard.
you're telling him to act different then how he normally does. Lets call a log a log.

zekko said:
But I agree that clueless guys will hear "Be yourself" and go WTF? They just don't understand the full meaning.
Good reason to drop the term. It only helps us to have different terminology to distingush what is effective behavour from the usual good guy schtick.
 
Top