How to treat girls that frequently ask you for help?

[Saltychtao]

Hi, guys! I am not a native english speaker so forgive me for my bad writing. I met this girl about two years ago, when I am working on my phd degree and she came as a part-time assistant of my supervisor. She is also applying for phd of our college and should be admitted by next year. I am really into her, but we rarely hang out. She did initiate chats sometimes, but they were all about herself, e.g. her essays, application for phd and future plans. When I asked her out, she seemed to be hesitating. TBH, I found a relatively low IL on me from her.

However, she keeps asking me for help in recent days, like paperworking or writing of her essays. So, don juans, how do you guys treat girls who frequently asks you for help yet you are thinking on nexting?

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum. The best way to handle when women repeatedly as you for help is to be busy. No matter how busy you really are, make her think your even busier. You could always say “I wish I could help you with XYZ but I don’t have much time. I could meet you Friday between 5 and 6 for a quick drink tho if your up for that “. Then leave at 6 even if you don’t have anything planned. If she won’t have a drink with you but still asks for help then she’s just wanting to use you. Keep being too busy to help her. If she keeps asking say “Sure I’ll help you , I charge $300 per hour”. And be serious. After that she won’t be.

 

[Snort]

Women asking for help are of the same category as little rats who insist on dinner on the first date, and little tramps who evoque the fact that they don't have a lot of money : filter them out or invite them to a fake dinner date and block them when they arrive.

 

[Alvafe]

you could or just be i'm busy, you knoiw you are doing something right when they alwyas think you are busy, or just do like I like to do with "requests" and ask what I get doing so?

I like this question because it gauge her interest

 

[Saltychtao]

Welcome to the forum. The best way to handle when women repeatedly as you for help is to be busy. No matter how busy you really are, make her think your even busier. You could always say “I wish I could help you with XYZ but I don’t have much time. I could meet you Friday between 5 and 6 for a quick drink tho if your up for that “. Then leave at 6 even if you don’t have anything planned. If she won’t have a drink with you but still asks for help then she’s just wanting to use you. Keep being too busy to help her. If she keeps asking say “Sure I’ll help you , I charge $300 per hour”. And be serious. After that she won’t be.

Thanks for your detailed advice! Actually i do not want to worsen the relationship (since we work in the same office and have to meet everyday), neither want to continue to chasing this girl. So i guess your advice is worth trying, and see whether the girl would devote more.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop helping this girl. There are only two categories of women you are permitted to help:

Immediate family - wife, mother, daughter, sister

Committed LTR - girlfriend or fiancé

Ignore this girl. NEXT. Men, stop giving women your time who haven’t earned it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi, guys! I am not a native english speaker so forgive me for my bad writing. I met this girl about two years ago, when I am working on my phd degree and she came as a part-time assistant of my supervisor. She is also applying for phd of our college and should be admitted by next year. I am really into her, but we rarely hang out. She did initiate chats sometimes, but they were all about herself, e.g. her essays, application for phd and future plans. When I asked her out, she seemed to be hesitating. TBH, I found a relatively low IL on me from her.

However, she keeps asking me for help in recent days, like paperworking or writing of her essays. So, don juans, how do you guys treat girls who frequently asks you for help yet you are thinking on nexting?

Today's lesson: Women 101.

Synopsis: women will use men they have no romantic interest in whatsoever to do stuff for them for free. It's a form of physical exploitation. However, instead of compulsion, they weaponize men's own stupidity and naïveté and use it against them. Examples of stupid/naive thinking: a) if I do stuff for her, she will like me more; b) if I do something for her, she will be compelled to return the favour; c) I have to do it because I am a gentleman; d) saying "no" is rude; e) if I said "no", my mom would disapprove.

How a non-idiot would handle this type of request: to quote Nancy Reagan, just say "NO". If, for some reason, the "nice guy" pretence has to be maintained, say that you are busy. Better yet, say that you're unavailable because you have a date.

 

[espanish]

dont let her use you dude, have some self respect

 

[Woujo]

There is a simple rule I call the "alpha male quid pro quo."

You only do things for a woman who has done something to deserve it first. What did she do to deserve your help? Sounds like nothing.

Also, texting a woman falls under this rule. What did she do to deserve you listening to her stupid problems?

 

[Robert28]

Women that ask for favors are low down trash. Next time she texts you, when she asks you for a favor ignore and ghost. She will get the hint. Don’t say you’re busy or anything else, that won’t stop her from asking. It’ll just stop her that day but she will be back to bum later.

 

[Woujo]

Women that ask for favors are low down trash. Next time she texts you, when she asks you for a favor ignore and ghost. She will get the hint. Don’t say you’re busy or anything else, that won’t stop her from asking. It’ll just stop her that day but she will be back to bum later.

This is stupid.

First, all women ask for favors so if you think every woman who asks you for something is "low trash" you are going to be doing a lot of jerking off.

Second, if you think the only way to deal with **** tests is the silent treatment, you are a little child. All you need to do is say "no." Don't even say you are busy, just say "I don't want to do that." That's it. I promise she stops asking.

 

[Robert28]

This is stupid.

First, all women ask for favors so if you think every woman who asks you for something is "low trash" you are going to be doing a lot of jerking off.

Second, if you think the only way to deal with **** tests is the silent treatment, you are a little child. All you need to do is say "no." Don't even say you are busy, just say "I don't want to do that." That's it. I promise she stops asking.

Well, in my long experience EVERY SINGLE WOMAN that’s ever truly been into me has never asked me for ****. On the flip side, the girls who faked interest or friendzoned me or were trying to Friendzone me or play games…..they CONSTANTLY asked for favors. Constantly. It’s backwards but you’d think the women asking you for stuff and favors do so because they like you, not true at all. It’s hard to wrap your mind around that though.
As for the silent treatment, that’s not being childish. Not saying anything to their favor request IS your answer. Women communicate like that with us all the time, so they’ll understand when you don’t respond exactly what you mean even if they play dumb like they don’t. You can say no but you’ll then set yourself up for “but please!” Or “whyyyyy? Come on!”. Then you’re explaining yourself.

 

[Snort]

Yes, it was my experience as well that women at school / university who friendzoned me would use me as a useful idiot to whom they would make requests to humiliate me in front of their friends. As a good puppy I'd do what they ask.