How to text a girl to come over

[PianoGuy33]

So I met this HB9 at a bar, and we exchanged numbers. I also ran into her the other day and we had some lunch. I want her to come over tonight so I texted her. "You should stop by when you're finished with your day" I was wondering if you guys think that I should have asked her if she wanted to come over or if I should have tried to have a conversation with her first. She has not responded yet... I thought it would be good if I told her that she should stop by, because girls like being told what to do.

 

[bukowski_merit]

That's a pretty big offer to make out of the blue. Seems poorly calibrated to me...

"We should go out for drinks/coffee" - not such a big deal; easier to pull off. Can be done out of the blue.

"You should come over after work" - A little more of a big deal; harder to pull off. Probably shouldn't be done out of the blue unless you're spamming a bunch of girls at once.

It's all about what you're asking her to invest vs. how interested she is.

Unless her interest is high - you don't have much chance. (if she did happen to agree, she wants to bang for sure)

A bad thing to do from here would be continuing to message her with more details. Or explaining why you send the message. You send it - you live with it now. Own it.... If she doesn't respond - you have to be ok with that.

In the future try to build interest in her coming to your place first. Talk to her; build some rapport. You're asking for a very big investment; build up to it. Almost always better to invite to your house ON THE PHONE too. Girls are easier to persuade in realtime... Harder when they have time to think (this is coming from a big texting advocate.)

My favorite topic to lead women back to my house is retro video gaming (I have a SNES/Dreamcast/PS2 and most women remember this stuff from their childhood). My second favorite is alcohol.

After discussions about either - if interest in shown. I make the pitch. If she says "i don't know you that well" or something, i just keep working on her...

If all else fails - just take her out.



But man.... That's some really uncalibrated mess to just make that offer out of the blue....

 

[Who Dares Win]

Agree with Bukowski, you went all in before knowing which cards were on the table (her interest level), so it either the table show itself full and you hit the jackpot or you rest broke with only few coins to try out your luck.

Thats a mistake I did as well of course, and most of the time I have them to "see" and make the counteroffer of me going to them which unlike what many here thinks its not an invitation to bang but mostly them summoning an entertainer and forcing their frame on you.

Those who agreed to come were already wet before the telephone rung so accepting the invitation to come over was pretty obvious.

What works for me is to invite them to have a drink around your place, alchool not only lowers inhibitions but even if it dont make them drunk, allow them to be slvtty since they will have something to blame.

Also you will be with them and if you're persuasive enough, all texts and bvllsh1t from outside wont have any chance against you.

 

[j0504s]

Most girls dont want to "Just come over" on first dates...Take her out and show her a good time out o fhte ordinary...better then jsut drink! Take her indoor rock climbing, ICe skating, To a sport event (obviously cheap tickets) Do something that she feels is "NEW" Or you are "teaching" her something!!!!

But after a couple dates u can just throw the "come over...MAKE ME RED VELVET CUPCAKES"

then u know you got her

Keep Spinning,
J0504S

 

[PianoGuy33]

Ya, the thing is we live right across the street from each other, which makes it less of a big deal, but thanks for your thoughts. I guess we'll just see how this one plays out.

 

[Uncharted]

How did the first date go? Did you kiss-close or escalate? If you've already hooked up then I could see this working.

 

[PianoGuy33]

There wasn't a kiss, we only had 45 minutes together for lunch. That's my goal if I hang out with her tonight. I'll just see if she responds I guess. I'll probably see her walking sometime today because she lives right next door, so if I do, I'll run outside and talk to her.

 

[Mr Wright]

If you want her to come to yours she has to either be really into you...or she cant plausibly deny the reason that shes there.

If you meet with her somewhere local to you, you can easily walk back to yours to show her a video of a cat on youtube but if you just ask her to come over, its waaaay to suggestive and i'd be surprised if she replies to this.

 

[Uncharted]

There wasn't a kiss, we only had 45 minutes together for lunch. That's my goal if I hang out with her tonight. I'll just see if she responds I guess. I'll probably see her walking sometime today because she lives right next door, so if I do, I'll run outside and talk to her.

Don't do this if she hasn't responded to your text.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Man, since she's a neighbor - the happening to bump into her and inviting her in would have been fine.... In fact, probably better than texting her....

But now that you've text her - it's going to be really weird for her if she's not that into you...


Hell if i were you - I'd just have another girl over and try to make it known...

 

[Sandow]

I thought it would be good if I told her that she should stop by, because girls like being told what to do.

Ya, you may wanna slow your role turbo. There is some truth to that, but only for guys they're interested in and/or dating...otherwise you're just a big creep. I think some of us underestimate the importance of rapport. Bukowski hit the nail on the head. Girls aren't like guys, they are super hesitant to jump into anything right away. They need a lot of investment and rapport, and it slowly builds from there. Guys are crazy, they'll drive 500 miles to meet up some "chick" they met on the internet 2 days ago in hopes to get some pu$$y (To catch a predator). Girls are quite the opposite.

 

[PianoGuy33]

Ya, i guess I was too forward, I thought it would be chill for her to come over and have some coffee or tea t my place. Do you guys think asking a girl to have some tea with you makes you sound like a pvssy?


Also, if she dosn't respond, what if I called her tonight and gave her a hard time for not responding?

 

[Mr Wright]

calling her and giving her a hard time = i am socially inept and i am way too invested in this even though we havent even kissed. she wont change her mind just because you're upset, if anything do the opposite, go and do something else and not worry about it.

I still think going somewhere else then heading back to yours is the better option the first time because you can talk her through things, over text she just sees "come over" and just thinks "naah thats not for me" and you're done.

 

[Sandow]

Please, Please stop texting/calling her. If she responds to your text, you know she is at least remotely interested. Then go from there. But for the love of god, let her breathe man.