How to tell her it's over after 3 dates?

[The LadyKiller]

I went out with a HB7 three times over the past couple of weeks. The first date she spent the night. The second date (weeknight) we played mini-golf and grabbed drinks. The third date started off well with dinner and drinks, but she then tells me her friend is meeting up because the friend is going through a "crisis" with her job. As I was expecting date #3 to end similarly to date #1, this was clearly not part of the plan. Once the friend showed up and we all briefly chatted, I told HB7 I was headed home. We shared another kiss and that was that.

Even before that abrupt exit, I wasn't seeing a long-term future between us. Our goals don't align (I want kids and she doesn't, she wants to try living abroad and I want to live near family, she smokes and I don't). Neither of us has touched base the past couple of days, when previously we texted daily.

For a first date or when you haven't Fclosed, a text or gradually descending into silence seems to be common. For longer-term relationships, in-person or a phone call applies. But what about after 3 dates, generally considered the decision time of determining if a relationship should go further? Making things murkier for me is that I didn't care for the guest appearance from her friend (I believe it was at least partly manufactured), and I would normally go silent after something like that - which combats my usual upfront approach of saying things aren't working out.

 

[Dan.Lifestyle]

Just be upfront. "Hey so I don't really see this going any further but it was cool hanging out and getting to know you"

Don't burn any bridges but it sounds like you guys will be on the same page on this one.

 

[Glassguy]

Honesty is the best policy. If she goes berserk, then you ghost.

 

[lamath]

Just be upfront. "Hey so I don't really see this going any further but it was cool hanging out and getting to know you"

Don't burn any bridges but it sounds like you guys will be on the same page on this one.

This and like said above dont burn any bridge

 

[Robert28]

Use women’s famous line on men they aren’t interested in, “let’s just be friends”.

 

[lamath]

Use women’s famous line on men they aren’t interested in, “let’s just be friends”.

And then watch the interest level raide from medium to high af lollll

 

[Robert28]

And then watch the interest level raide from medium to high af lollll

Yep. But then you treat her exactly how she’s treat you if she friendzoned you. “Sorry but I don’t see you in that way romantically, you can keep giving me attention and validation and I’ll be happy to waste your time so you can’t meet anyone else though!”

 

[Serenity]

This isn't really about how the dates were going and the third date was merely a trigger for you. The important part is that your goals doesn't align and that's totally fine (should be at least). So as mentioned, the mature way to deal with it is to just simply inform her about your decision and reason for it.

If you're ending something because a woman acts out in ridiculous ways, that's when you just go ghost. If you're ending it over something as sensible as this then it's better to just be honest, makes it less murky for everyone.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Just a polite text. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

[AJ84]

OP you said neither of you have touched base in the past few days. So you have already gone silent and she appears to have as well.

Sounds like there is mutual lack of interest, that, paired with the fact that she hasn’t even contacted you after the last date, makes me think that it’s over, you may not hear from her again and hence don’t need to come up with a reason to end something that seems to have ended on its own anyway.

If you really aren’t interested in her that much and you have options, I would honestly just let it go. Who cares about burning a bridge with a girl you were not that into anyway, unless you have no options. That may sound kind of mean but you don’t owe her anything after three dates, and I’m a female telling you this. You were nice to her, but she wasn’t really what you were looking for, then she pulled some crap with bringing a friend on a date, which doesn’t say much about her, imo.

She doesn’t care enough to contact you to say it’s not working, so neither should you .

 

[Dash Riprock]

Personally, I'd just let it die on the vine and move on. Plus, the whole "friend in need" thing on the 3rd date is BS and wasted your time. Double-booking on a date is not cool. You don't owe her anything. But, if you want to f*uck with her a bit, send her the LJBF text. Women hate that and it rarely happens to them. Don't be suprised if she goes all bunny boiler on you or tries to seduce you back.

Keep us posted.

 

[Tilex]

Ghost, Block and Delete her

If all else fails, use fear and intimidation.

 

[Hal9000]

Sounds like she's already dumped you so I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[lamath]

She doesn’t care enough to contact you to say it’s not working, so neither should you .

I agree with this why contact her to tell her its not working.
Tell her only if she contact you,otherwise it look like im dumping you before you dump me because we both know its not working.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Its 2019. Ghost you clown.

 

[Glassguy]

Its 2019. Ghost you clown.

lmao

 

[Glassguy]

I am going to change my earlier thought on this because I dont like to throw away perfectly good pvssy.

Me: Sorry hun, I am really not looking for something serious right now because I am just too busy to invest that much time into someone. But if you just want to casually hook up sometime let me know.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I am going to change my earlier thought on this because I dont like to throw away perfectly good pvssy.

Me: Sorry hun, I am really not looking for something serious right now because I am just too busy to invest that much time into someone. But if you just want to casually hook up sometime let me know.

"I'm not there at this stage of my life. When i get there, I will let you know."

Plausible deniability ftw!

Op,beta's ask out on date. I casually hang. Coffee, drinks, movie, etc. Dating is cucked.
Op,
Why the ****kkk would you put ***** on lay away?

 

[Epic Days]

Say nothing.

 

[Robert28]

Its 2019. Ghost you clown.

This! They try to say there’s a time limit to ghosting based on how many dates or whatever. Nonsense. You can ghost a girl if you’ve been with her 6 months or 7 years. You don’t owe anyone an explanation just like women claim they don’t owe you one when they turn you down. Two can play at this game and I can walk away without notice at any time and it’s a powerful tool. We might come back from a weekend vacation and I decide to ghost you forever on Monday. You just never know.