"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How to talk to stangers

Klippymitch

Don Juan
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Nov 27, 2006
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I never learned this skill while growing up and now it sort of grew into a phobia of mine so I avoid strangers like a plague. If you can give me some tips and maybe even mention a good book on this subject I would be very appeased.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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unknownDJ

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Klippymitch said:
I never learned this skill while growing up and now it sort of grew into a phobia of mine so I avoid strangers like a plague. If you can give me some tips and maybe even mention a good book on this subject I would be very appeased.
live and learn..... thats all you need to know
 

Lost1

Don Juan
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I ususally find something to relate to them with, a great way to talk to strangers is in a line waiting for something! I always use this to my advantage.
 

Thomas94305

Senior Don Juan
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Agree with Ace_McGregor. Do the boot camp. Click "The DJ Bible" below to download the .pdf's. People here start boot camps all the time. You can search this forum for boot camp, and find past boot camps that people ran. They posted things like what it was like to say hello to strangers, starting conversations, etc.

You already mentioned the biggest problem.. "PHOBIA", not skills. The trick is to walk up to a new person, and talk as if you've known the person for some time. So, just adopt that very mindset. Walk up to people, starting with easier targets like cashiers, older people, etc, and act AS IF you've known the person for quite some time. How would you feel around someone you've known? What would you feel comfortable discussing? etc.

Finally, get away from the computer and talk to someone. ANY conversation, no matter how brief, long, good, bad, etc beats NO conversation.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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