How To Take Things Further...???

PURE

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I've known this girl for many years. Lately, we have been hanging out A LOT and enjoying eachother's company to a great extent.

MY PROBLEM: I believe she is waiting for me to make a move and because we have been friends for years, I've been hesitent. I like her VERY much and I now believe she does also. But...I do know a guy should never let a woman know HOW MUCH he likes her.

How should I express my attraction to her (we have only hugged and kissed on the cheek)???

Thanks guys!!!

PURE
 

silverdog

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by any chance, are you in the friend zone with this chick?
 

dannyboy

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start off by being a bit firmer with her. Be more assertive and challenging. Be nice but let her know indirectly that you have been datinng other girls who are hot! comment on her ass and stuff like that but keep a smile and keep it joking.
 
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Originally posted by PURE

But...I do know a guy should never let a woman know HOW MUCH he likes her.

You have already made the decision not to kiss her (on her lips) because you are afraid to and the above sentence is your excuse.

What you're saying above is DJ Bible crap. Plus in this case she already knows how much you like her. You know that you need to kiss her on her lips to move on but you are afraid to do it.

If (or should I say when) you go with your decision not to kiss her you will see her end up with another guy who can do all the things you are afraid to do. That will hurt you and it will be a lesson.

Then there is the other choice which you haven't made (yet.) Which is: Do that thing you'd never do. Kiss her on her lips and move on.

I made the first choice over and over for years 'till I was sick of it. Then one day I went for the second choice...




Either way you will end up start kissing girls you like.
 

MDgood

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The "friends" thing can be a killer, dude. If you stick out your head, you just may get it chopped off and the friendship would be ruined. I got seriously burned like this during my AFC days, and ended up wrecking things with the girl, but I didn't lose the lesson. If you go too slow, and she's interested, she may think she doesn't have a chance and she could end up getting banged by some other guy.

I want to start by saying that the following advice is if the girl is firmly just in the friends zone with you. Of course it doesn't really apply if she's already interested in you.

One thing you don't want to do is rush it. You're walking in a minefield without a map, buddy. You're already interested in her, now she has to get interested in you, and that has to be done ON HER OWN TIME! NEVER EVER JUST COME STRAIGHT OUT AND TELL HER YOU'RE INTERESTED IF SHE HASN'T BEEN PREPPED FIRST!!

Start this process by hitting her psychologically. You have to plant it in her mind that moving to the next level with you is not something that's "weird" to her. Start this by saying little things to her that one friend usually doesn't need to verbalize to another friend because it's implied, but that at the same time a guy would say to his girlfriend.

When you're out with her, start by occassionally doing something like just turning to her and looking her in the eyes and telling her something like how much you respect her, or how intelligent she is, or how she's so much more prettier than this chick or that chick. Leave it at that. Say it like a friend, don't lay it on too thick, or all at the same time, because then she'll know subconsciously something's up and she could very well start pushing herself from you.

Don't forget to hold the eye contact a little longer with her, maintain the "hello" hug a little longer, smile at her using both visible teeth and your eyes, and don't try to act too cool. She already knows you well as a friend, so playing the "mystery" game" isn't going to work with her. Unless she's really experienced in this game, she won't notice what you're doing.

At the same time, don't follow her around hoping she'll give you a cookie. Hang out with other girls liberally, and let your target HB start wondering why she's feeling jealousy for a guy who's just a friend. Let your target HB meet these girls... you're "friends", after all. NEVER LET HER FORGET YOU'RE YOUR OWN MAN, AND NOT SOME DROOLING PATHETIC IDIOT!!

Building these emotions in her could take months if she's not interested in you in the beginning as anything more than a friend now. If she starts getting interested in you, there should be signs from her: friends always kino, so you may not be able to tell much from there, but her eye contact may become a prolonged stare. Also, you may notice she starts making short calls to you about stupid things... did she leave a book at your house?... how does she get to such and such a place?

I've also noticed something about girls when they start getting an interest in you. Make a note as to the time they call. You might notice that they call almost exactly on the hour, or on the half hour. A good round number. If they are nervous about calling you, they have to gather up the courage first. They'll look at the clock and keep saying to themselves, no, I'll wait another five minutes, etc., five minutes come and go, they get irritated with themselves for not calling, but when the clock goes to a new hour, it's like their psychological deadline has passed, and they'll call.

Just like a stray dog, you have to coax her in towards you if you want her to come to you... if you're too loud or brash, the stray dog runs off. If you try to reach out and grab the stray dog, the dog gets scared and runs. You have to make the stray dog think it WANTS to come to you.

It's getting late here, there was more I wanted to write but I'm tired. I hope this is useful to you. Any other guys have anything to add or comment about what I wrote?
 

Dee-Zy

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Originally posted by PURE
But...I do know a guy should never let a woman know HOW MUCH he likes her.
WHAT?!?!? That's the niggest piece of bullshit I ever heard!!!

Make a man of u, grab your balls and do what you want to do.

In this case, you want to ask her out - then for the love of god ... DO SO!!!
 

akindofblue

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Make a man of u, grab your balls and do what you want to do.
Eh, this isn't the best advice in the world. There is something to tact and also not charing blindly into a situation. You don't just tell a girl you're madly in love with her. It may work in the movies or in an extremely tense situation (far more tense than most of us will ever experience), but generally, the other person is put in an awkward situation by having a load of emotions dumped upon her all at once.

Sure, make your moves, but don't let the other person know that you're hook, line, and sinker. And it's generally a bad idea to vocalize an attraction as opposed to acting on it physically.
 

OddTech

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Originally posted by MDgood

I've also noticed something about girls when they start getting an interest in you. Make a note as to the time they call. You might notice that they call almost exactly on the hour, or on the half hour. A good round number. If they are nervous about calling you, they have to gather up the courage first. They'll look at the clock and keep saying to themselves, no, I'll wait another five minutes, etc., five minutes come and go, they get irritated with themselves for not calling, but when the clock goes to a new hour, it's like their psychological deadline has passed, and they'll call.
That is a very interesting observation MDgood. I've never seen that happen, especially since I am the one doing most of the calling. I'll keep this in mind. Thanks.
 

MDgood

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I should add that this calling on the hour thing is only when the girl is pretty shy or for whatever reason feels a little intimidated by the guy. It's something they'll do unconsciously. Women with more confidence or who are a little more bold won't do this.
 

Dee-Zy

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Originally posted by akindofblue
Eh, this isn't the best advice in the world. There is something to tact and also not charing blindly into a situation. You don't just tell a girl you're madly in love with her. It may work in the movies or in an extremely tense situation (far more tense than most of us will ever experience), but generally, the other person is put in an awkward situation by having a load of emotions dumped upon her all at once.
That is not what PURE needs to think about right now because that is ALL he is doing. Rationalizing, that is the source of the problem of half the posts up here.

The ONLY thing he needs to have in his head is

I DO WHAT I DO - BECAUSE I WANT TO

It's as simple as that. If he feels like say'N he loves her, he will get hurt N learn from it. On the other hand, if he doesn't follow his desires - like half the people on this board, he will be afc for life.

Originally posted by akindofblue
Sure, make your moves, but don't let the other person know that you're hook, line, and sinker. And it's generally a bad idea to vocalize an attraction as opposed to acting on it physically.
That is all I was saying. To hide your interest in a girl is completely DUMB.
 

PURE

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Great stuff guys! Anyone else?

Thanks again!

PURE
 

MDgood

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Right, never outrightly tell her you like her because that's suicide... the odds are against you unless you're in a movie. But at the same time, you have to exhibit little things here and there that makes her wonder if you like her.

That's another good thing to know about the psychology behind getting a girl to like you. If she finds you moderately attractive to begin with, or there are other traits you have in common, if she begins to understand that you like her, she may just start developing an interest in you, too.

A few times in my life I've found myself developing an interest in a woman because I found out she liked me, and she was somewhat attractive to me. She didn't even have to be a knockout by any stretch of the imagination, all she needed was something in common with me and be somewhat cute.

Of course, it should be noted that if the woman knows consciously that she is definitely not interested in you, then you don't have much of a chance.
 

PURE

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Originally posted by MDgood
you have to exhibit little things here and there that makes her wonder if you like her.
Elaborate on that MD Good!

Thanks Again!!!
 
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