How to successfully cheat on my girlfriend:

[Luke Skywalker]

This is a follow-up thread to my first relationship. I've made up a few rules designed to make for safe-cheating on her.

The structure of the relationship is as follows - she lives away from here like by thousands of miles, and only comes here during the summer. That means, for the other 10 months, I can basically do whatever I want and just have to worry about emails or her calling while I'm with another girl.

Have a guaranteed love from her as she's crazy about me, and I can't dump her as she'll go crazy if I do (not that I want to either). She's one of them low-self esteem clingy needy girls that will likely stick with me, even if she found out that I cheated, so it's just a matter of managing the situation so she doesn't know about it.

I have developed the following rules to ensure such cheating is successful and nobody is hurt:

1) If you have fun with someone else, make sure that you do not actually love them, or pursue any other love interest other than my girlfriend. If a girl gets too close with me then I can admit that I have a girlfriend for her to back off.

2) Anything revolving around work is fine.

3) Buy a box of condoms and store them in the glove compartment of my car, just in case, I actually cheat on her. But put them away in the basement if she comes into town.

4) No cheating is obviously allowed while my girlfriend is in the city, be totally loyal with her and honour the resolution only while she is in the city.

5) Do give my girlfriend whatever time she needs on the phone/email to be reassured that I love her and nothing is going on.

6) Do not lose my virginity to another woman other than my girlfriend. That type of cheating is unacceptable. (but keep rule 3 there, just in case)


**************

Can't think of any other rules here. Anything I can potentially be missing on this list or rules? Comments? What do people on here think about cheating and making organized schemes about it?

 

[CaptainJ]

You have serious mental problems man. Get a therapist.

 

[horaholic]

What exactly possessed you to write this?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Read the bible which you quote so thoroughly to others.

You worthless hypocrite. You should be ashamed of yourself. Post reported.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

What's the problem? People on here jealous they don't have a girlfriend that loves them themselves?

 

[Alle_Gory]

What's the problem? People on here jealous they don't have a girlfriend that loves them themselves?

Let's get this out of the way:

NO ONE is jealous of your old, ugly ass girlfriend. NO ONE.

BTW, I hope you realize she's not your girl. She can't be. You haven't slept with her or anyone else.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Let's get this out of the way:

NO ONE is jealous of your old, ugly ass girlfriend. NO ONE.

Right, but who on here can say that their girlfriend loves them unconditionally and is going to remain faithful with them and they don't have to put up some sort of fake game in order to get them to like them or stick with you -- but you are loved for who you are?

And, for the record, she is only 1 year older than I am and she is not uglier than your mother.

 

[Alle_Gory]

And, for the record, she is only 1 year older than I am and she is not uglier than your mother.

No self-respecting attractive woman would hang out with a mentally challenged middle momma''s boy still living at home, who's only source of socializing and reputation is an online forum where he posts meaningless advice (because its not based on any kind of experience) in order to feed his ego.

/thread dominated

 

[Luke Skywalker]

No self-respecting attractive woman would hang out with a mentally challenged middle momma''s boy still living at home.

So then there should be no problem with these 'cheating' rules then since according to you, I can't really cheat. (Reverse psychology anyone?) Why would you bother even replying to this thread if you feel I'm such a failure with the ladies then?

That would be a real easy solution -- I believe I can't cheat, do whatever I want, and if I do end up cheating with a hot babe, then I'll suprrize myself since I'm suposed to be a failure anyway and can do away with any notions of infidelity since I'm not actually a threat of infidelity to my girlfriend?

 

[Captain]

Luke Skywalker, SoSuave isn't your personal blog.

We've given you our advice, you aren't taking it, and you're still posting here about the exact same things.

You can do whatever you want. Don't be exclusive with her. Long distance relationship are ridiculous. But I've already told you all this, and you aren't listening. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.

 

[Alle_Gory]

So then there should be no problem with these 'cheating' rules then since according to you, I can't really cheat. (Reverse psychology anyone?)

Cheating is a breach of agreement. If you made an agreement to be exclusive, and you go behind her back you're cheating.

Clearly you made an agreement, and clearly you're breaking it.

Why would you bother even replying to this thread if you feel I'm such a failure with the ladies then?

Everyone who wasn't aware of this before, knows now. Your advice to any people seeking help has now become utterly useless, just like it should be.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Cheating is a breach of agreement. If you made an agreement to be exclusive, and you go behind her back you're cheating.

Clearly you made an agreement, and clearly you're breaking it.

And how exactly would I be breaking it if no self-respecting attractive woman would want to hang-out with me? It's all academical then. Going behind her back to do what exactly? According to what you are saying, I do not have the capacity to cheat.

...and if I am successful, I have them rules above to abide by to ensure nobody gets hurt - but it's still all academical.

 

[MascaraSnake]

what in the hell?

 

[rushing dude 123]

Luke i seriously don't get u, u contradict urself. I thought u said u wanted sex after marriage, but then why would u have box of condoms in ur car just in case u do cheat on her. You seemed to me like a guy who would not cheat and be loyal, also not have sex before marriage. Now u have something avaliable for u ur whole mind set has changed, which tells me before u only said all that stuff just has an excuse because u cudn't get one. And now that u do have one the wolf has come out of it's sheeps clothing.

I can understand guys here, if they say they want more girls than one and will cheat on a relationship. Because they set their principles. Me on the other hand i will not cheat in a relationship and will never do so, because i believe it is wrong. Sometimes guys have my mind set and it accidently happens in the moment. U on the other hand have actually made a thread on how to cheat, this is no accident, which totally opposes ur principles. To b honest man u r lying to urself, one way or the other, so when people question ur believes and u reply, they are not reasons they are excuses.

Quote:
"She's one of them low-self esteem clingy needy girls that will likely stick with me, even if she found out that I cheated, so it's just a matter of managing the situation so she doesn't know about it." can u seriously not see how u r sounding, i seriously can't even see some real jerks saying that has well.

Dude u need to have a long think of what u actually want, because if u just go to a certain principle due to desperation, u will just be lying to urself.

Would god really want u to be obeying his word just because ur desperate and just happen to do it anyway or because u choose to when u have a choice?

 

[Darth]

Read the bible which you quote so thoroughly to others.

Seconded. What the hell kind of a post is this.

 

[Isko]

Right, but who on here can say that their girlfriend loves them unconditionally and is going to remain faithful with them and they don't have to put up some sort of fake game in order to get them to like them or stick with you -- but you are loved for who you are?

AHAHAHAHAHAH! She can't love you for who you are because she doesn't know who you are. She doesn't know you're trying to cheat on her. I'm willing to bet you haven't sent her a link to your SoSuave profile.

Face it man, you're "dating" her, but you don't love her. You probably have tons of shame and self-loathing just below the surface. I suggest you re-examine who you want to be in life. I'm sure you never intended to suck this much. Here's the good news: While you're alive, it's never too late.

Rule 6 is ****ing hilarious... Why do you want to lose your virginity to someone you're dating? If you actually care about her happiness, tell her how you feel. Tell her that you are very attracted to her, but you aren't interested in partnering up with a woman right now. Tell her what you want, which is to talk to her and **** her and all that. She probably wants the same thing, unless she's looking for a guy to take complete care of her, in which case you are gonna smash her hopes and dreams.

Plus you say you're gonna carry condoms anyway just in case you get the chance to break rule 6. Haha

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I just sent your girlfriend this link.

What now pvssy?

 

[Biggie]

Right, but who on here can say that their girlfriend loves them unconditionally and is going to remain faithful with them and they don't have to put up some sort of fake game in order to get them to like them or stick with you -- but you are loved for who you are?

And, for the record, she is only 1 year older than I am and she is not uglier than your mother.

i can honestly say my girlfriend loves me like that. So what's your point? that it justifies you cheating on her? you're an idiot.

 

[MikeBrown30]

THE STUPID, IT BURNS!!!!

 

[saber]

therapist