How to succeed in life?

[Tomo]

Have not been on here for a while so hope everyone is doing well. Seeing a fair few questions on woman as usual but wondering if the old boys can give me an insight into elsewhere instead. Since my hiatus, I've been dating around but flakey woman, dates that went no where and my own interests have resulted in my all but dropping the topic of woman altogether. These last few months have left a sour taste regarding woman that I am in no hurry to cure. I currently message 10 or so woman on rotation that keep me happy enough. Some may argue maybe I am the one making woman running for the trees but I have grown enough to to realise my own interests in a woman and not to pedalise and to set my own standards.

I guess the thing that has hit me lately is how much in my life I have realised I have always come up second best. Many a times my ego has let me continue to think I am going somewhere but I am not sure anymore. Education wise, I've been that guy that lacked discipline. Someone who could be achieving high distinctions if he put more effort into things. I was so close to becoming doctor but let that dream slide (not that I am unhappy with my current degree). My hobbies, if I put more effort into again, I'd actually be proud to show such skills off unthinkingly as opposed to shy away from the crowds etc.

Don't get me started on woman.

Enough of the negativity! I am slowly getting there. Finally I am starting to see the rewards of hard work in the gym rather than years of my perception and ego getting in my way. Slowly I am starting to study more and more. Socially I have no problem but I continue to network my way around. With woman, I thank SS for my learning and continual growth.

I guess my question is; you see those people who do EVERYTHING - the people who are successful, the ones who can play songs on the guitar you only ever dream of while still doing everything else at a A++ level. The guys that always seem so disciplined.

That is who I want to be. How do I find that success in myself?

 

[Atom Smasher]

You identify the major categories in life and chip away at each one every day, in small, non-overwhelming increments.

For myself:
Health
Business
Personal Finance
Spiritual
Relationships
Paperwork
Music

In each category I set a timer, and work on it for the allotted time. Before you know it, critical mass develops and you find yourself becoming very powerful in each category.

Expect your inner "thermostat" to try to turn down the heat in order to maintain the comfort level you've been trained to maintain all your life. Those are the times when you find yourself self-sabotaging and taking a step back. Recognize that this is only a minor setback and will soon pass.

That's what the timer is for... to provide structure and tangibility. When your mind starts giving you negative emotions because you are succeeding beyond its trained level of acceptance, the mind will become cloudy & confused, and you tend to lose sight of what to do.

The timer is your bedrock as it returns you to focus. It also provides you with a feeling of control as you are determining absolute start and stop times.

Tiny, consistent incremental steps are a very powerful way to approach bettering yourself in every aspect of life. This causes you to fly under the "overwhelm" radar.

Write down those categories. Allocate a specific amount time with a timer for each category each day, and you will start to achieve mastery over your life.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Tomo...

Another Tomo here.

Well, I was watching a programme last night called Man vs. Weird.

There were the usual kind of side-show freaks/Buddhist monks who walk on broken glass, take hammer drills to their head, stick knitting needles through their biceps etc etc. None of which I usually find particularly impressive. Survive a shark attack, completely unscathed, then I'm impressed.

They did have one guys under observation with view to his pain threshold though, which I did find quite interesting. The docs basically studied this guy for 10 years, brain scans an all. Though his scans were not much different to those of others, his subjective experience was much more finely tuned.

For more info on that subject, go here: http://www.pnas.org/content/102/36/12950.full.pdf

Anyway, this kind of got me thinking about non-pain discomfort, and how we address real life challenges; such as meeting women, being academically or professionally successful, getting rich and the like.

Exactly the same process can be applied as the circus freaks do to overcome the discomfort of challenging oneself. It's about conditioning, both classic and operant.

When applying oneself to a challenge, the initial period is tough.

Take my fartlek running as an example. I have been doing it for 3-4 weeks, 1-2 times weekly, maybe 3x300 circuits, flat out sprinting the last 100 of each circuit. I’m not going to lie, up until this week, I have sincerely dreaded the thought of doing it. The first weeks were truly painful; to the point where I was retching after just 3 circuits

Last week, I felt my body more slightly more adjusted as I was ‘taking off’ for the 100 sprint. Also at the weekend, I was playing pick-up basketball against guys who were like 6’4-6’6, where I am 6’1.5. Though my team lost 7-2, I scored our only points and couple of times I was able to out-jump these lanky streaks; ME, the better part of half a foot shorter. And for the first time in years, I felt like I could have played those guys again and again, without my a*se falling out of itself from lack of fitness.

This week I am progressing to 4x300 circuits, 3 days running, along with more pick-up. Then throw some more meat on my bones in the gym over the next three months, continuing with the fartlek ready for the 2014-15 season.

I studied physio, and the primary methodology that was instilled was to break down your longer-term goals in to more manageable short-term objectives.

I want to study medicine too. I have years of experience working in clinical trials, but no taught knowledge of chemistry. So that’s where I’ll start too.

Now this is my own experience Tomo. But your question is an interesting one.

I am 31 and only in the last year or two have I really been at an age where I truly apply myself to what I want. I have always been able to apply myself to stuff I feel I HAVE to do, but I am learning to translate that to stuff for myself.

I guess what I’m trying to say is the subjective experience of pain or discomfort of a challenge reduces each time you go through it, so long as you can visualise your short and long term goals and dissociate yourself from the experience of pain. I have been so fit before that sprinting hundreds of metres does not even leave me breathless or even sweating. That is EXACTLY where I’ll be, come September.

There was a beautiful motivation on this strongman’s garage wall, which I think I am going to add to my signature herein:

Pain is temporary. Glory lasts forever.