You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
1) Don't worry about being unnatural. Seriously, in fact the unnatual ones sometimes have a better chance of working. Perfect is boring.sbgm said:Any ideas on how to strike up a convo on facebook with a girl you know but don't regularly talk to without seeming "unnatural" ?
Some people has suggested to write something and then say "oops, wrong person, anyways, hows it going?"
That's golden right there, thanks! I know her, but we haven't talked for long, so just don't wanna come off as unatural. On the other hand, as you say, if she is in the same league as me and can picture me as relationship material, then she would probably not care what I write, she would only be happy that I did write.ArcBound said:1) Don't worry about being unnatural. Seriously, in fact the unnatual ones sometimes have a better chance of working. Perfect is boring.
2) I would not send a facebook message. Girls are constantly bombarded with thirsty dudes on facebook.
3) If you already know the girl, why do you need some sort of "opener"? I sense that maybe you think she is out of you league. You ever look at an ugly girl and go "Wow I wonder how I will talk to her!?" Of course not she's ugly and you are not worried. You have to have the same attitude with this chick you want to have a relationship with. You already blew her up in your mind and you are afraid messaging her properly on Facebook...
That's the start of a very good attitudesbgm said:That's golden right there, thanks! I know her, but we haven't talked for long, so just don't wanna come off as unatural. On the other hand, as you say, if she is in the same league as me and can picture me as relationship material, then she would probably not care what I write, she would only be happy that I did write.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.