How to strike the right balance in a relationship?

[For_F]

Hi fellas

I'm one month into a relationship with a girl who I liked for several months prior to even forming the relationship. I didn't let my feelings get to me though - I always had other girls in the mix and continued to approach new girls. Now that I am in a relationship and I haven't cheated in a proper 'serious' relationship, I'm wondering what are the fundamental rules for remaining a DJ.

At the moment, I'm continuing to maintain my time with my buddies, continuing to remain as focused as possible at work, continue to go to the gym and I do not feed my girlfriend's demands and insecurities. Her IL for me is very high and she's always wanting to hang out, always wanting to talk on the phone and always wanting my attention. I have her complaining that I don't seem anywhere as interested in her as she is in me. I'm not a prick about it but when I'm with buddies, I ignore her or if she messages me with something that I don't particularly have to reply to, I ignore her.

I now KNOW that most girls are so used to white knights and guys who will do anything to please a girl in the initial stages of a relationship, and most of the time causing their own heartbreak as the woman falls 'out of love' with them haha.

Please help a brother out. I've been in several relationships but not since I found this site.

 

[EastWind]

I wrote something else entirely, then thought better of it, here's my actual advice:

You shouldn't have to worry about "striking the right balance". Either she wants to be with you or not. If you find yourself having to think of the correct things to say or do, or feeling the need to come up with activities or behavior patterns to make it work, dump her. Either she's too complicated or your head is still too complicated to be in a relationship. If she starts complaining that you're not doing this or that (maybe you should shower every few days and take the trash out once every other year, though), dump her ass. She's either happy with you as you are or she's not.

You'll find both types of advice on here - those who will tell you to keep going like you are now, since it seems to be working fine, and those who adhere to the school of thought that being in a relationship where the woman is staying with you and cares about you probably means she's happy to have found a guy who's willing to pay for her, now or in the (possible) future.

 

[bigneil]

The right balance is simply letting her initiate 51% of the texts. If you can let her be free and see her once every 7 to 28 days, and you find yourself growing closer, it's a special thing.