how to stop getting too serious.

[flirty_intentions]

i am pretty good, when it comes to hooking up girls. i can handle quite a few at the same time, but the problem with me is that i tend to get too serious in relationships.

this girl, was a big time flirt, i knew it, i still patched up with her because i basically wanted some physical pleasure, and i was pretty happy with what i got, i was always prepared to lose her, because she cant just get on with a guy for more than a few weeks, but when she left me, or even when she stopped talking to me, i felt really down and depressed, the same has happened in case of a few other girls. the basic problem is, i am a very sensitive type of person, and i want to develop a cool type of attitude, when i loose a girl, i want to take it in my stride. i tend to think topo much about it, and get too tensed and sort of depressed, which affects my relation with other girls too. so any suggestions ?

 

[California Love]

A good start is developing simultaneous relationships. This way, you won't feel as bad when you crash and burn with one girl, because there will always be another one by your side.

 

[Dirtheart]

I've always had the same problem. I'd tend to fall for women very quickly and that's when I'd go into AFC mode, lose her and get depressed.

I'm currently working on overcoming it, but it is difficult to be cool when you're trying to keep emotions in check. I figure the biggest part of my problem was building expectations and mentally turning each girl into perfect long term relationship material. Just try to remember, your perception of her is in your mind.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
I've always had the same problem. I'd tend to fall for women very quickly and that's when I'd go into AFC mode, lose her and get depressed.

Dirtheart, that is SO TRUE. At one stage back in the AFC day I would even imagine in my head what her name would sound like read out by a vicar in a marriage ceremony. What kind of *&^%d up AFC crap was that!

As for avoiding it...I don't really know the solution. Since becoming a DJ I haven't been in an LTR. For STRs the best thing though seems to be to just have lots of women on the go, to prevent this kind of oneities nonsense.

 

[Dirtheart]

Wow Austin that's really is some "*&^%d up AFC crap". But I confess I've done much the same thing, except I skip forward to the honeymoon.

But what I find is that I often go to bed at night and keep running perfect scenarios through my mind. I literally cause myself to fall in love (often with an imaginary person).

I remember learning that one of my closest friends had a thing for me. I didn't actually find her attractive, but I kept thinking how good things could be if I did. About a month of doing this, I was totally infatuated with her and it turned out that things didn't work out very well afterall.

But I do think there's a lot to be learned from this in that we must be able to make women feel the same about us by stirring their thoughts and inspiring their imagination. We just need to work out how to force ourselves into their minds and stay there.

 

[JohnJones]

My solution has been easy, it just doesn't make me happy. While I can be funny, aloof and engaging during the courtship, as soon as they are my g/f, I start picking every little thing out that gets on my nerves, looking for signs of shallowness or skankiness, feel more remote and distant and then start figuring how they are potentially bad matches.

In the end, a lot of it has to do with wanting what you don't have and not wanting what you do have.

 

[TOOBAD]

JohnJones put it nicely! The bottom line is; DONT TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY! Trust me when I say that it is fu*ken hard, but i would call it nothing more than disipline, the one thing that seperates a DJ from an AFC. Nobody is perfect, not even us DJ's, so women, as screwed they can be at times need motivation and a chance or two. Fair enough if she has no respect, integrity or honesty, NEXT her! but if they are there, along with a good attitude, you just need to always be the DJ you were when you got her, after all, thats why she's with you! Just try to be objective but not so much that your not in the relationship, enough not to let your interest level blind you to really see hers. Don't take her playful attitude as a put down, take it as a good thing that you got a girl your having fun with and fu*cking at the same time!

 

[Tails]

looks DO matter.

haha, sorry.

 

[Hollowpoint]

ouch, I need this thread.......gonna next this girl but whatever happens it'll hurt

 

[JohnJones]

Originally posted by TOOBAD
but if they are there, along with a good attitude, you just need to always be the DJ you were when you got her, after all, thats why she's with you! Just try to be objective but not so much that your not in the relationship, enough not to let your interest level blind you to really see hers. Don't take her playful attitude as a put down, take it as a good thing that you got a girl your having fun with and fu*cking at the same time!

Agreed, and make sure while you are checking her IL you are not so absorbed by it or obsessed with it (she likes me now, but what about in a month...) that you have lousy time. I've done that one too.

 

[flirty_intentions]

hey guys,
nice to know there are many more, who share the same experiences. simultaneous relationships is a good idea, so is the idea of picking up things which irritate you.
i guess in the end its all about controlling emotions and moving on.

 

[TOOBAD]

The best thing to do when a chick's Interest Level is high, is NOTHING, DON'T WORRY! As long as its high, it must be that way for a reason; you are doing things right! So have a good time, mentally and pysically when it is high, and if it gets low don't stress, as long as its 51% or higher, it can get back up there! The best way to judge the IL is her actions!

Cheers!

 

[flirty_intentions]

this is how todays don juan tip puts it


, we shouldn't extend a relationship beyond its natural life.
Sometimes there comes a time when you have to cut your losses and move
on. When a relationship isn't fun anymore, is a constant hassle, and
isn't worth the trouble, end it. The fear of being alone keeps people
in relationships that cause them constant heartache and pain, even
though they know deep down inside that they should end it.

 

[Tails]

i've been alone since feb last year! i can't find a non slutty girl
just me and my trusty hand