How to stop being needy

Joined
Sep 26, 2018
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Age
21
#1
I'm not going to sugarcoat it, I'm a beta. I want to progress but keep getting stuck with the same issues.
Im 21 and got with my SO last year. I played into her hands at all times and ended up having a child with her 2 weeks ago.
She wouldn't like me going to work as it takes time away from us, and when I'm out she seeks the attention off of everybody that will give it her.
I don't trust her and I'm aware that I need to do a lot to change. But every time I go to leave, or even go out to see my dad or friends, I feel like she's going to betray me and it consumes me. To the point I don't want to leave the house or do anything.
I spoke to a professional and they reckon it's because I have an abandonment complex learned from my younger years. - I just don't get how I can switch off and get on with my life without feeling so anxious and like my world will fall apart if she strays.
Feel free to call me what you want, it's pathetic typing it out, but it's real and I'd appreciate the help
 
Joined
Jan 14, 2019
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#2
Not an easy situation, mate.
You have to understand that If you don't trust her, it means you're not trusting yourself to keep her in check. If you play by her rules, she will never respect you and a relationship without respect is doomed to fail. A women expects to be guided in a relationship, If she's making the decisions, she will end up finding someone that will make them for her.

Get familar with the Sixteen commands of spoon.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

They will help you in your therapy.
 
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
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#3
If she left you right now, what would you do? And why would you behave that way?

Why is it that her opinion and you feeling so bound by her agenda that are such strong driving forces in your psyche?
 
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
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#4
She wouldn't like me going to work as it takes time away from us

Set your foot down, bro. Priorities, she isnt going to be a provider, so you gotta get your sht together and focus on whats important not her needs. You are her tied down beta now, there is no way out other than to end the relationship and start a new relationship with her, or to set boundaries from the gitgo.

You already are at a huge disadvantage by having a kid. Have an adult conversation about her behaviours and how they should change or you will leave her with the kid, only 1 warning then do as you say or you will look like a little weak bch.

Read the book called the rational male by rollo tomassi, there isnt much that can be done short term, but can be fixed long-term if its worked on. Else this is doomed to fail at some point and your fears will become reality.
 
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
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#5
Sorry you are going through this. Nothing we say is going to make it any easier though. You have to get to a place where you fully accept the pain and suffering you experience now is worse than losing her for good.

There are many women in the world. You are young. You'll find another. Or many others. You must work through your issues in therapy and get to a place where you are happy alone, and you have a good social life with enough friends that you can choose to be alone, or with friends any time you want, and be happy with both options.

Spend some time asking yourself what exactly would fall apart in your world if you parted ways. List out the things that would go wrong.
 

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Joined
Sep 11, 2018
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#6
Make a lot of money. That's how I got over it. Abundance. Success. I don't know how people can be less needy without success. Bhuddist monks maybe. We are men. We have to conquer, dominate, and thrive. That kills neediness. Neediness is a sign you suck at life and have no abundance.

You are desperately clinging on to how little you have.

Every needy person I have ever known in my life - when they start having new friends, passions, abundance, success, etc, they stop being needy. They disappear and I never hear from them again.

A guy with lack asking how to be less needy is like a dehydrated person asking how to stop being thirsty. The answer is abundance. Or water.
 

Murkserious

Master Don Juan
Joined
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#7
He’s only 21 and it already sounds like he’s working to be successful, but he’s tied down to an entitled selfish b1txh and now he’s a kid with her.

OP I think you need to let her know you are providing for the family and if she wants to be a single mum on handouts she can fvck off. Otherwise you make the rules and she falls in line. This woman is now in your life forever, you can’t drop her and spin plates, technically you can, but this is the mother of your first born and you should try to steady this ship now as your child is only a few weeks old and needs harmony for now.

Best you can do is lead her and make her fall in line to make your life, all lives including your kid, better.

Speak to your family about this too and get their backing.
 
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
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#8
She wouldn't like me going to work as it takes time away from us, and when I'm out she seeks the attention off of everybody that will give it her.
I don't trust her
and I'm aware that I need to do a lot to change. But every time I go to leave, or even go out to see my dad or friends, I feel like she's going to betray me and it consumes me. To the point I don't want to leave the house or do anything.
He’s only 21 and it already sounds like he’s working to be successful, but he’s tied down to an entitled selfish b1txh and now he’s a kid with her.

OP I think you need to let her know you are providing for the family and if she wants to be a single mum on handouts she can fvck off. Otherwise you make the rules and she falls in line. This woman is now in your life forever, you can’t drop her and spin plates, technically you can, but this is the mother of your first born and you should try to steady this ship now as your child is only a few weeks old and needs harmony for now.

Best you can do is lead her and make her fall in line to make your life, all lives including your kid, better.

Speak to your family about this too and get their backing.
He is tied down to a slut, and that's even worse. You don't ever want to tie yourself down to an untrustworthy person.
 

Espi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 20, 2006
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The Bay
#9
In my opinion you need to immediately start filling your day with work. Get a job, and bust your ass. Work hard. Once you start providing for your child, your ife will change.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
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Age
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#10
I'm not going to sugarcoat it, I'm a beta. I want to progress but keep getting stuck with the same issues.
Im 21 and got with my SO last year. I played into her hands at all times and ended up having a child with her 2 weeks ago.
She wouldn't like me going to work as it takes time away from us, and when I'm out she seeks the attention off of everybody that will give it her.
I don't trust her and I'm aware that I need to do a lot to change. But every time I go to leave, or even go out to see my dad or friends, I feel like she's going to betray me and it consumes me. To the point I don't want to leave the house or do anything.
I spoke to a professional and they reckon it's because I have an abandonment complex learned from my younger years. - I just don't get how I can switch off and get on with my life without feeling so anxious and like my world will fall apart if she strays.
Feel free to call me what you want, it's pathetic typing it out, but it's real and I'd appreciate the help
Outside the middle east women are allowed to go full retard. No consequence.

Op, you dun goofed. You don't play house and have kids with a attention *****. You walk. You downgrade her to booty call or side piece.

You go get more girls. She acts out of turn, freeze her dumb ass out. When she comes back, in the words of AMS, she has to suck a whole lot of ****kkk.

Women use ***** and children as a weapon. You must lead and be willing to walk. You created a monster by being a beta *****. Step up or step aside.

Vet women. Not pedestal skanks.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
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#11
He is tied down to a slut, and that's even worse. You don't ever want to tie yourself down to an untrustworthy person.
+1

You, the man should only be 2nd to God. Srs

Women are disgusting and untrustworthy. They are hit and run material. Not mother of child prospects.
 
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