How to stop being needy/insecure/awkward etc?

[Asbury]

The past year has been great for me, my success with women has sky rocketed, my self esteem has increased massively and I have had more sexual partners than in all my previous years combined.

However, I am an emotional person and suffer from generalised anxiety disorder (which usually causes me to overreact to situations due to irrational thinking) and eventually my emotions seem to trip me up with woman and it stops it getting past the one month mark.

It's all well and good saying don't be insecure/watch what you say and do etc. I am better at this than I ever was. However, it is very difficult to do this all the time and my scarcity mindset always seems to set back in at some point, leading me to turn women who once were very interested to seeing me as a friend.

I think overcoming neediness and insecurities runs deeper than just simply watching what you say and do, I think it's more about stuff like mindset. How have you guys improved and overcome these problems?

 

[AlphaNate]

It's absolutely mindset and not a bag of tricks.

Spin plates. That is, ensure you're talking to several girls at any given time. That should help the scarcity mindset.

Try not to worry. Seriously, people are worried about themselves and aren't concerned with the things you're worried about.

Fail. Fail, fail, and fail. The best at this stuff have failed over and over. Don't be afraid to crash and burn. Learn to take rejection. We all get rejected. The best of us get rejected a lot, because we put ourselves out there a lot.

You sound like you're headed in the right direction. Experience will teach you more than anything.

 

[icantgetlaid]

experience. It's like teaching a kid not to put their hand over the fire.

hygiene/grooming/styling poorly = burned
letting a woman disrespect you = burned
pandering to/pedestalizing women = burned
being too available = burned
NOT having boundaries = burned
NOT knowing when to 'next' = burned
NOT approaching/escalating = burned
oneitis = burned

Once you swallow the red pill, your behavior that leads to getting 'burned' becomes very clear. And with experience, it becomes easier (natural) to eradicate that behavior.

 

[Billtx49]

Let go of your fear of the future. It's the core cause of most anxiety. Memorize and internalize this truth -
The future is Never as bad as we imagine it to be.

 

[Red Legg]

OP... don't forget to have fun......you can do EVERYTHING right and STILL get burned !

 

[btownbuck2012]

In my case the way I've gotten over stuff like this is literally having the worst thing happen to me that I was afraid of having happen.

Example: Out of college, I was in a sales training program for the first company I worked for. I was a bit awkward and nervous and it got to the point to where management wanted me out of the sales training program because I was so awkward.

3 years later I was managing a sales team of 15 people, for another company.

The first horrible experience gave me the motivation to improve my social skills. Pain is the best motivator out there.

 

[JohnChops]

Have an assertive mindset. Don't let people walk all over you. Say no when you don't want to do something. Know the difference between being a **** and standing up for yourself. Hold yourself in high standards. Don't let people knock you off your high horse, you earned that ****ing horse

 

[ApolloSunGod]

The one word I've been using this year is "NO" forget rejection & emotional feelings, beta thinking white kinght, feelings =female !!! Be the lion or wolf in a corwd attack .. females are emotional creatures their all about feeling don't know why a male cant use a simple word as "No", cause it's not logical for a male to use it, where program to use logic and provide..NO & Ghost are key words for a man's logic "rejection" is fruit read a dictionary learned new words and use them to fit your game..if the plate don't like it fu*k them move on many more plates to spin u are the prize p**sy is not gold..

 

[SmooveMooves]

The biggest key is one you already have. Awareness.

As long as you're aware and capable of legitimate self-reflection, you'll be fine. Live life. Identify behaviors that you don't like and consciously make an effort to eliminate them.

I have a habit where I talk in a higher vocal inflection. I don't like it. Whenever I find myself doing it since I'm aware I catch my self and think: 'calm down, talk normal.'