How to stick up to my words?

[ATribeCalledDS]

When I got deep thoughs about my inner self, a lot a time I got real awnsers but once I'm going to public places or talk to another human being, all my morals, ideals are crushed or I really hesitate to use them being to shy. I've tried to do the BootCamp two times and never finished them because of the lack of commitment. Somebody got an exercice/routine to make me remember to do my things from the beginning to the end? I really need that right now.

 

[earthshyne]

A boxing analogy you may wish to consider

A very common problem. Everyone goes through something like this at one time or another.

Like almost anything else, practice strengthens the fundamentals. But how to practice if you can't get out of the starting gate?

Ali, Spinks, Holmes, Tyson et al didn't start out by leaping into the ring for a heavyweight match. They practiced and practiced and practiced. They worked on the fundamentals - strength, speed, skill - before they even got into the ring.

Cultivate a "sparring partner", one who's supportive of your efforts, that you can practice with. Preferably a girl, though it doesn't have to be. Simply start initiating a conversation with your sparring partner, then after a few minutes stop and go over the results with him/her. How did it make them feel? How did it make you feel? What worked, what didn't? Then try again.

Soon enough you'll have the confidence in your own abilities to initiate a conversation with a complete stranger. The first time will be difficult, and it probably won't go well (then again, maybe it will). Just relax, regroup and try again.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

I moslty agree with earthshyne. A sparring partner is a good idea if one is available.

Another way to go would be to get someone you are accountable to. Many people use these forums (hence the FR and Boot camp) but if you are having a problem you might need someone in common you are going to have to tell about your failures. Remeber, failures are not approaches ging unsmoothly but rather not going at all. Celebrate your learning experiences but find someone you will have to report your failure to try with.

The ideal might be the sparring partner. If you have someone in the friend zone this is the time you can take advantage of that.

Good luck. Going out there and doing it feels better then not doing it does.

Some people set up some small reward for progressively more difficult goals.

 

[earthshyne]

Originally posted by Donald Kaufman
Remeber, failures are not approaches ging unsmoothly but rather not going at all.

Brilliant. Wish I'd said it. The only failure is the failure to try; the rest is about learning.

 

[MrHarris]

Also recognize that your shyness if just vanity. Your stuck on yourself. Alot of people once they realize this will begin to take steps to rid themselves of shyness.

Secondly stop wacking off. Desperation will then lead you to where you need to go.

 

[ATribeCalledDS]

Thanks a lot for the replies guys but I don't have a lot of friends. The only friends I respect and enjoy chill with the most are not in my school anymore since this school year. I don't have good relations with the others schoolmate these days and it's depressing. Woundn't work my problem by myself would be more logical in my case?