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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to Spot a Unicorn

BeExcellent

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As many of you know I am a woman here on SS. Many of the threads I see here are perplexing.

Men complain that they aren't getting the lay on the first date or two so they next, others get the lay on the first date and complain that they can't find a high quality girl (and argue that women who will sex you up on the first date are defacto NOT high quality) and these things seem circular to me.

Guys. You can't hold the view that women who won't have sex on the first few dates are NEXT! material and also hold the view that women who do have sex very early are by default not high quality if you ever expect to find a quality woman.

See the logic flaw? Women who screw on the first or 2nd date are low quality, says the forum. Next if you don't get laid on the first or second date, says the forum.

And you guys wonder why you can't find that unicorn. You opine the dearth of high quality girls. They don't exist says the forum.

May I suggest that you set yourself up for failure with a type of woman that you are not going to run into all that often to begin with?

Most here chase low quality girls looking for easy sex rather than having the patience that pursuit of a high quality girl will require. That's fine but then don't turn around and complain that there are no quality girls! You've screened them out already!


So perhaps it might be of some use to explain what a high quality woman looks like, acts like and how she conducts herself so you might not NEXT one accidently if this is really what you might like to find. That is of course assuming you eventually want some type of relationship with a cool woman whose company you enjoy and who is into you. This is possible as several recent posts have discussed and how a man sets his criteria is going to vary by individual

Many men on this site are understandably jaded from past experience in marriage for example but the notion that marriage or pairing off in a LTR is never worth it is just as unbalanced a view.

The idea that high quality women do not exist is false.

The idea that marriage or LTR is always a bad idea is also false.

However these ideas align perfectly for the man who can't get a high quality girl because he himself is not high quality. It follows the 36th Law of Power to "Disdain Things You Cannot Have..." Many guys here run down quality women because they couldn't get or keep one in the first place.

This is why the forum's focus is first and foremost on self improvement and self validation and self worth. Without those characteristics you cannot succeed in obtaining the best women. So for purpose of this discussion I will assume the man can attract and hold this "unicorn" and will work from there.

What a unicorn looks like will vary depending on the age group in question. I will do my best to give some traits to look for in different age groups, please feel free to add to the list as you see fit.

I am posting this under the premise that most men (even red pill men) would find value at some point in having a woman alongside for the ride in life as opposed to endless rotations of women and all that entails.

Before I get blasted for espousing blue pill Disney stuff please note: I know blue pill Disney stuff doesn't work. This post is more about how to recognize a unicorn and then what to do IF you might like to pursue one.
 

Papa_smu

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I think most men know their "unicorn" However, most men don't want to **** it up.

(it's a short response, but that's first thing that comes to mind)
 

BeExcellent

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Before I go into the characteristics you should look for (and before I debunk other frequently espoused characteristics) you should understand this. Very few unicorns are going to put up with unmarried status and almost none will put up with plate status for very long if they realize they are just a plate. This will be most true in the younger women (18 to 25 say), and will include virgins who are serious about keeping their virginity for the wedding night (or at least for the man with whom they are concretely planning to share their wedding night with.)

Women who have already had children, been widowed or divorced for legitimate reasons and have more life experience will be less likely fixated on the whole marriage thing. They will still prefer a LTR.

Gold digger women or single moms who are looking for a man to subsidize their life and support them and their children are NOT high quality women in my book. I'll explain below.

Qualities a unicorn should have:
1. Emotional stability
2. Financial stability
3. Willingness to be vulnerable and bond with her man; warmth
4. Desire to sexually please and excite her man
5. Respects & defers to her man
6. Good values (compatible with yours whatever that means)
7. Feminine & supportive
8. Is a good friend and trusted confidant for her man (loyal, trustworthy, frank - the traits you would find in your closest male buddy)
9. Physically/sexually attractive
10. Seeks physical/sexual attention ONLY from her man (but she is also not an ice queen to other males in appropriate social environs)

Additional qualities if they are important to you:
1. Intelligent
2. Socially aware
3. Educated
4. Would be a good mother for your children (or IS a good mother to hers already)

Special comments about things that get brought up on SS a great deal

1. Her parents must still be married (or she won't have good values about marriage)

I must debunk this one. It doesn't matter. Her parents may still be married and yet be miserable (not a good example for her) Or her parents may be divorced and gone on to better situations. If her parents are divorced you look at who her models are for a good relationship. A unicorn will have models. Grandparents, aunt/uncle, a close friend's parents. There will be a good example she sees somewhere.

2. Single parents need not apply

Truth is it depends. For younger men, I tend to agree. Find a woman who might have your children, although there may be a great gal who lost her husband or had some legit reason she is a single mom who could still be a high quality gal.

For older men, many women will already have their own kids if it's the second time around for both of you (just as many men will already be fathers). In this landscape you want a woman who has similar values as far as parenting goes. Also, a high quality woman is not going to introduce you to her children unless there is a well established stable relationship and she will respect you for doing the same.

3. She must be "low mileage"

Unless she gave her virginity to you she has been in bed with someone else. You are going to have to determine her mileage, and again this is going to vary tremendously according to the age group in question. For the very youngest women you would expect her partner count to be quite low. The older a woman is the more sexually experienced she is going to be.

More important than count is her ability to create intimacy and bond with you. 60 year old widows who lost their virginity to their only sexual partner who they were married to for 40 years and loved dearly are going to have a very hard time bonding to someone else. This is a unicorn who cannot bond.

Women who have no self respect and have not self love as evidenced by terrifically high partner counts are low quality women that cannot bond.

You want a woman who is healthy in the intimacy department and can emotionally bond with you.
 
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Asmodeus

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The unicorn is a lie... It is an idealized concept, a foolish notion. Even I recognize that marriage and love take significant sacrifice and effort. I think that people have to be realistic about things, understand that people are inherently flawed, thus no actual unicorn exist. If they go into love with idealized notions, believing their love to be a "unicorn" then I argue that they are setting themselves up for failure. Also that mythical unicorn is likely more and more impossible to find in today's day and age. Why endeavor in the search for this mythical creature when you can simply satisfy your basic needs through other more simpler means?

Also, your long list of traits for a unicorn single woman is so rare that you can likely find me 1000 women and maybe one of them would likely fit this so called unicorn criteria.


Idealism vs realism...

This is why the forum's focus is first and foremost on self improvement and self validation and self worth. Without those characteristics you cannot succeed in obtaining the best women.
Pfft.. I do self-improvement for myself, not for a woman...

As for me, I care nothing about unicorns... Not everyone sees value in having a relationship.
 

BeExcellent

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What does this unicorn act like? How does she conduct herself?

First she has a self confidence about her and she understands her value. Not in a snobby way but in a self assured way. Because she understands her value she expects to be courted by a man. A man who displays sexual interest will be encouraged by her flirtation with you but vulgarity and overt sexual aggression will be a turn off. She will expect you to make investment in her before she will give you her body. She knows that the initial physical conquest ends once she gives you her body and she will expect you to have willingness to invest in her before she allows you that conquest. This is why she is extremely unlikely to sleep with you early on. She weeds out the pump & dump guys this way.

She will expect you to have the leadership role. She will expect you to pursue her, to ask her out, to make plans, to invite her along. She will not blow up your phone or email. If she likes you she will wait for you to initiate, she will respond positively and she will enjoy your company. If you expect a woman to be initiating texts and calls you will miss the boat. She will respond well to your pursuit but she will not take the lead. This can look like low interest. It isn't. It is submission to your role as leader. Don't miss this signal and dismiss her.

She will be kind but direct if she is not interested. She has many options so she prefers to keep only those she is truly considering as real options in her dating rotation. Orbiters are a waste of her time and she values her time.

Because she only will give you her time if she has high interest she will not sh!t test you so long as you lead. She will be happy to defer to your leadership and will want to please you. She will not sh!t test to sh!t test. She will tend to ask even direct questions in a diplomatic way and she will want to please you and give you the opportunity to take the leadership role.

She will expect investment on your part. She is giving to you and will expect you to invest in her. These things (her giving and your investment) should be complimentary.

She should not ask you for things or help. She may well appreciate a gentleman, but she will not ask for help with the rent, the bills, a present. She will respect and appreciate what you do for her and the time you spend with her. She will offer to pay at times and she will have a generous spirit toward you.
 
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Asmodeus

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What does this unicorn act like? How does she conduct herself?

First she has a self confidence about her and she understands her value. Not in a snobby way but in a self assured way. Because she understands her value she expects to be courted by a man. A man who displays sexual interest will be encouraged by her flirtation with you but vulgarity and overt sexual aggression will be a turn off. She will expect you to make investment in her before she will give you her body. She knows that the initial physical conquest ends once she gives you her body and she will expect you to have willingness to invest in her before she allows you that conquest. This is why she is extremely unlikely to sleep with you early on. She weeds out the pump & dump guys this way.

She will expect you to have the leadership role. She will expect you to pursue her, to ask her out, to make plans, to invite her along. She will not blow up your phone or email. If she likes you she will wait for you to initiate, she will respond positively and she will enjoy your company. If you expect a woman to be initiating texts and calls you will miss the boat. She will respond well to your pursuit but she will not take the lead. This can look like low interest. It isn't. It is submission to your role as leader. Don't miss this signal and dismiss her.

She will be kind but direct if she is not interested. She has many options so she prefers to keep only those she is truly considering as real options in her dating rotation. Orbiters are a waste of her time and she values her time.
^I have never honestly encountered such a woman... I am trying to consider all the women I have encountered in my existence on earth, not a single one fits such criteria.

Again, where is this mythical woman?

I ask the men of SoSuave, and I may ask this elsewhere... Have you met such a woman?

Anybody? Anybody?
 

Asmodeus

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I have to say that that mythical female unicorn is extinct... If it even existed to begin with.. The current conditions are such that the development of such a woman would be an exception, not the rule. I can go into that in greater detail if you wish. Most women just do not operate like that anymore...

@BeExcellent ... You talk about the unicorn with no reference to how unlikely this kind of woman is. How unlikely it would be for any man to ever achieve such, and what may even possibly be the futility in endeavoring to achieve such. You need to be realistic, this kind of posting borders on giving false hope to men. It is like those women on Cosmo or something who keep saying some 6' tall 6 figure salary guy with a 6 pack is out there just waiting for a girl and just feed into the delusion. See, this kind of thing does more damage than it does good...
 

Trump

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Men complain that they aren't getting the lay on the first date or two so they next, others get the lay on the first date and complain that they can't find a high quality girl (and argue that women who will sex you up on the first date are defacto NOT high quality) and these things seem circular to me.

Guys. You can't hold the view that women who won't have sex on the first few dates are NEXT! material and also hold the view that women who do have sex very early are by default not high quality if you ever expect to find a quality woman.

See the logic flaw? Women who screw on the first or 2nd date are low quality, says the forum. Next if you don't get laid on the first or second date, says the forum.

And you guys wonder why you can't find that unicorn. You opine the dearth of high quality girls. They don't exist says the forum.
There is no logic flaw. The forum has never advocated if the woman has sex early she is by default not quality (again, what is quality?). That is the opinion of some posters. The forum mainly advocates be the best man you can be and the woman comes along for the ride. Hold yourself up high through education and experience, don't take any bs from women, and don't value them and don't enter into a contract that doesn't benefit you (i.e marriage) unless you protect yourself, because the law and society is on the woman's side.

There was a whole discussion about this in another thread.


Most here chase low quality girls looking for easy sex rather than having the patience that pursuit of a high quality girl will require. That's fine but then don't turn around and complain that there are no quality girls! You've screened them out already!

Many men on this site are understandably jaded from past experience in marriage for example but the notion that marriage or pairing off in a LTR is never worth it is just as unbalanced a view.

The idea that high quality women do not exist is false.
You have to define what "quality" is before making the point. The word "quality" varies greatly from poster to poster.

The idea that marriage or LTR is always a bad idea is also false.
The forum does not say marriage and LTR is always a bad idea. The forum says PROTECT yourself at all costs in regards to woman. Emotionally, financially, mentally, in every way protect yourself. The forum has told men if they think its a good idea to commit themselves financially and emotionally to one woman in this day and age, where the woman often has the upper hand in case she is not happy or changes her mind or meets someone at the supermarket who gets to her emotions, go for marriage or LTR but protect yourself.

However these ideas align perfectly for the man who can't get a high quality girl because he himself is not high quality. It follows the 36th Law of Power to "Disdain Things You Cannot Have..." Many guys here run down quality women because they couldn't get or keep one in the first place.
Again, what is quality?

Before I go into the characteristics you should look for (and before I debunk other frequently espoused characteristics) you should understand this. Very few unicorns are going to put up with unmarried status and almost none will put up with plate status for very long if they realize they are just a plate. This will be most true in the younger women (18 to 25 say), and will include virgins who are serious about keeping their virginity for the wedding night (or at least for the man with whom they are concretely planning to share their wedding night with.)

Women who have already had children, been widowed or divorced for legitimate reasons and have more life experience will be less likely fixated on the whole marriage thing. They will still prefer a LTR.

Gold digger women or single moms who are looking for a man to subsidize their life and support them and their children are NOT high quality women in my book. I'll explain below.

Qualities a unicorn should have:
1. Emotional stability
2. Financial stability
3. Willingness to be vulnerable and bond with her man; warmth
4. Desire to sexually please and excite her man
5. Respects & defers to her man
6. Good values (compatible with yours whatever that means)
7. Feminine & supportive
8. Is a good friend and trusted confidant for her man (loyal, trustworthy, frank - the traits you would find in your closest male buddy)
9. Physically/sexually attractive
10. Seeks physical/sexual attention ONLY from her man (but she is also not an ice queen to other males in appropriate social environs)
I think we have to strike the word "quality" from this forum when trying to make a point. Once a poster uses that word, everything following it is extremely subjective. o_O
 

dustmuffin

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When I was a blue pill beta I would have been more than happy to invest my time and money into a woman that may or may not be leading me on to enjoy my time and money without sexual intercourse.

Now that I have been enlightened in the ways of women I think it is a waste of time to court modern women like was done in the past. I'm not looking for a unicorn. Do they exist? Maybe....I'm looking for sex and entertainment. I don't judge the women I'm dating. They are what they are.
 

sharkbeat

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What does this unicorn act like? How does she conduct herself?

First she has a self confidence about her and she understands her value. Not in a snobby way but in a self assured way. Because she understands her value she expects to be courted by a man. A man who displays sexual interest will be encouraged by her flirtation with you but vulgarity and overt sexual aggression will be a turn off. She will expect you to make investment in her before she will give you her body.
....stuff
That's part of the problem. She wants you to be head-over-heels over her. Western women nowadays aren't worth that much anymore. Why would you go crazy over her if she didn't even bother taking care of herself? Fat body acceptance is becoming a norm. Men gets blamed for not approaching an ugly or fat woman. Masculinity so fragile they said. pffft.

Seriously, I went to a supermarket the other day. Not a single skinny chick. All are fat.
 

Skyline

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I have to say that that mythical female unicorn is extinct... If it even existed to begin with.. The current conditions are such that the development of such a woman would be an exception, not the rule. I can go into that in greater detail if you wish. Most women just do not operate like that anymore...

@BeExcellent ... You talk about the unicorn with no reference to how unlikely this kind of woman is. How unlikely it would be for any man to ever achieve such, and what may even possibly be the futility in endeavoring to achieve such. You need to be realistic, this kind of posting borders on giving false hope to men. It is like those women on Cosmo or something who keep saying some 6' tall 6 figure salary guy with a 6 pack is out there just waiting for a girl and just feed into the delusion. See, this kind of thing does more damage than it does good...
^I have never honestly encountered such a woman... I am trying to consider all the women I have encountered in my existence on earth, not a single one fits such criteria.

Again, where is this mythical woman?

I ask the men of SoSuave, and I may ask this elsewhere... Have you met such a woman?

Anybody? Anybody?
Not to long ago, I was going after a woman like the one she stated. I wouldn't say she is 100% like the one she stated but she had very similar characteristics.

She was a virgin, had a southern conservative background that she lightly touched but was there, and was the quiet shy-submissive type with a secret kinky aggressive side. Her parents are divorced and she holds relationships in a high light. We honestly connected pretty well.

But women are still women... They get h*rny too and the only reason why I would said that weren't together now is because she fvcked one of the dudes in her circle before I even really started to garner interest. They're together now, so I was right about her not being a hoe.

I'm not tryig to brag but my game certainly outweighed his but he was in the right place at the right time...

She may have been 'my special unicorn' in my eyes but that doesn't meen she isn't proned to be turned off by unattractive traits and held accountable to somewhat slvtty behavior.

I know her relationship is currently rocky but I was forced to move on despite her actions still displaying interest for me. She even admitted interest at one point.

Everyone has a 'special unicorn' that seems mythical but after that experience, it's really just weaving out the bad. You shouldn't waste your time and money with pump and dump hoes if you're looking for a quality girl. I only do pump and dumps if it's a time and a place type of thing, I won't actively go to a club and seek it out- I think that's a waste.

You should really do you and display intrrest, be it ONS or LTR, with the women you encounter rather than forcing it.
 

EverSure75

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As many of you know I am a woman here on SS. Many of the threads I see here are perplexing.

Men complain that they aren't getting the lay on the first date or two so they next, others get the lay on the first date and complain that they can't find a high quality girl (and argue that women who will sex you up on the first date are defacto NOT high quality) and these things seem circular to me.

Guys. You can't hold the view that women who won't have sex on the first few dates are NEXT! material and also hold the view that women who do have sex very early are by default not high quality if you ever expect to find a quality woman.

See the logic flaw? Women who screw on the first or 2nd date are low quality, says the forum. Next if you don't get laid on the first or second date, says the forum.

And you guys wonder why you can't find that unicorn. You opine the dearth of high quality girls. They don't exist says the forum.

May I suggest that you set yourself up for failure with a type of woman that you are not going to run into all that often to begin with?

Most here chase low quality girls looking for easy sex rather than having the patience that pursuit of a high quality girl will require. That's fine but then don't turn around and complain that there are no quality girls! You've screened them out already!


So perhaps it might be of some use to explain what a high quality woman looks like, acts like and how she conducts herself so you might not NEXT one accidently if this is really what you might like to find. That is of course assuming you eventually want some type of relationship with a cool woman whose company you enjoy and who is into you. This is possible as several recent posts have discussed and how a man sets his criteria is going to vary by individual

Many men on this site are understandably jaded from past experience in marriage for example but the notion that marriage or pairing off in a LTR is never worth it is just as unbalanced a view.

The idea that high quality women do not exist is false.

The idea that marriage or LTR is always a bad idea is also false.

However these ideas align perfectly for the man who can't get a high quality girl because he himself is not high quality. It follows the 36th Law of Power to "Disdain Things You Cannot Have..." Many guys here run down quality women because they couldn't get or keep one in the first place.

This is why the forum's focus is first and foremost on self improvement and self validation and self worth. Without those characteristics you cannot succeed in obtaining the best women. So for purpose of this discussion I will assume the man can attract and hold this "unicorn" and will work from there.

What a unicorn looks like will vary depending on the age group in question. I will do my best to give some traits to look for in different age groups, please feel free to add to the list as you see fit.

I am posting this under the premise that most men (even red pill men) would find value at some point in having a woman alongside for the ride in life as opposed to endless rotations of women and all that entails.

Before I get blasted for espousing blue pill Disney stuff please note: I know blue pill Disney stuff doesn't work. This post is more about how to recognize a unicorn and then what to do IF you might like to pursue one.
I'm looking forward to seeing where this post goes.
I'm pretty junior here as far as DJs go, but I'm in agreement with the OP.
I've made a few mistakes with women since being on these forums, but I've come to the realization that I do want a LTR, another kid and possibly marriage. The spinning plates and just having fun with women isn't doing it for me.

I've also been through the family court system so I know it's a gamble. Like the OP, I do believe it's possible to navigate through the murky waters. Hence why I find this post interesting.

Thanks @BeExcellent for starting this. Looking forward to more replies.
 

BeExcellent

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There is a logic flaw for men who want sex very quickly and also think women who have sex very quickly are low quality; if they pursue the easy sex, dismiss women who won't have sex very early and then complain there are no quality women. The quality women are usually in the group they dismiss for not putting out right away.

Not everyone here wants a LTR or marriage. Many do not and I'm not suggesting those men should do anything different. I'm very unlikely to consider marrying again myself.

But for those men who do want marriage, or at least a serious LTR, especially if the creation of children is a possibility then the woman you chose is obviously a very important choice.

The definition of a unicorn (it's shorter to type than high quality woman) is subjective but I know personally many women who meet the criteria I listed. These women typically get snapped up young and stay married, but sometimes you'll find one later after she is widowed or divorced.

You still must lead as the man as you should anyway. No relationship is going to be perfect, for everyone is human, but my happily married or in LTR friends will tell you it's worth the effort if you pick the right woman.

The intent of this thread is to give some insight into recognizing the characteristics of the right kind of woman and also encourage being a man who will be a stand out to her. That involves strong inner game in my view.
 

Tenacity

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So perhaps it might be of some use to explain what a high quality woman looks like, acts like and how she conducts herself so you might not NEXT one accidently if this is really what you might like to find.

The idea that high quality women do not exist is false.
The idea that marriage or LTR is always a bad idea is also false.
BeExcellent,

Let me break this down for you boo, this will help you understand my point of view/commentary.


MY Definition Of High Quality

Let's start with MY definition of a high quality woman. My definition of a high quality woman is one that is a traditional patriarchal woman, who supports/loves/cares for her man FOREVER. Her entire being is designed and focused on helping him be the best he can be and continue to bringing in resources which benefits not just him, but her, and the children. She doesn't fvck around, she HASN'T fvcked around prior, and she doesn't use modern day feminist/gynocentric tactics to manipulate the man out of resources, time, energy, etc., which do nothing but benefit her....while NOT benefiting him nor the children they create.


The Market Has Changed

This woman NO LONGER EXISTS. She doesn't exist because feminism/gynocentrism is here and it's not going away. Not only do women no longer need men financially, but women are competing to BE MEN both financially and sexually as I would say 80% of women today are bisexual/lesbian.

So every single woman a guy gets today (or let's just say, 98% of women) will have something majorly wrong with her that she will not give TWO FVCKS about changing. Either she will have horrible finances and try to manipulate you to give her money, multiple kids by multiple thugs, weight issues, or just horrible personality/attitude/flakey issues.


As A Result Of This Market Shift:

- I said that Women Are Penny Stocks, Not Blue Chip Stocks. This means that you ought to no longer be seeking to "acquire" women from this market for the long term, your goal should just be to get in, get the benefits, and get out on a short term basis because the LONGER you keep her....the more bullshyt you have to endure. Matter of fact, the woman is on her best behavior during the very beginning of the engagement, not the middle and not the end.

- I said that Women Are Leases, Not Finance Agreements. This means that you understand that no woman is loyal to you, if you currently "have her" you are only renting her and despite what she TELLS you....you more than likely aren't the only guy currently renting her. So this means that you don't get fully attached to any woman because every woman is a short term lease that can be called at ANY time, where you are forced to put her back onto the market.
 

Tenacity

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However these ideas align perfectly for the man who can't get a high quality girl because he himself is not high quality.
I agree that most guys aren't shyt today either, but Feminism/Gynocentrism have destroyed masculinity especially over here in the black community where 75% of households are single mother households. So that means the BOYS are being raised by feminist/gynocentric "independent/strong" black women, which ties to why a lot of the black culture is fvcked up and why thug culture is celebrated/worshipped. That culture comes from feminism/gynocentrism.


It follows the 36th Law of Power to "Disdain Things You Cannot Have..." Many guys here run down quality women because they couldn't get or keep one in the first place.
I can assure you that's not my issue. I have YET to meet a quality woman based on the definition I supplied.

Qualities a unicorn should have:
1. Emotional stability
2. Financial stability
3. Willingness to be vulnerable and bond with her man; warmth
4. Desire to sexually please and excite her man
5. Respects & defers to her man
6. Good values (compatible with yours whatever that means)
7. Feminine & supportive
8. Is a good friend and trusted confidant for her man (loyal, trustworthy, frank - the traits you would find in your closest male buddy)
9. Physically/sexually attractive
10. Seeks physical/sexual attention ONLY from her man (but she is also not an ice queen to other males in appropriate social environs)

Additional qualities if they are important to you:
1. Intelligent
2. Socially aware
3. Educated
4. Would be a good mother for your children (or IS a good mother to hers already)

5. Her parents must still be married (or she won't have good values about marriage)
Lmaoo....my friend NO BLACK WOMAN IN AMERICA fits this. I'm sure that a very small percentage of white middle class women fit this. The only women that would fit this would come from some FOREIGN country. But the issue with the FOREIGN chick is that once you take her and bring her back to America, she will eventually become poisoned as well because the other feminist/gynocentric women will eventually convince her to change her ways.
 

fastlife

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@BeExcellent -- I think both you and @LiveYourDream offer insight and value to this forum and have no doubt that you both add value to the lives of the men in your lives. I'd totally be homies with y'all in real life lol. But I've lived rather abundantly--and while my experience only represents the smallest iota of the totality of human experience, I've been out there with my boots on the ground with both eyes open. Women, probably slightly moreso than the majority of men, are a product of their circumstance and a reflection of their external environment. That's just the nature of the feminine--and it's not coming from a place of misogyny or belittlement or anything else. And while those circumstances could all be stacked up to be as favorable as possible for a woman to live her whole life without succumbing to the darker effects of insecurity and a vacuum of male guidance on the female psyche, if those circumstances were to change drastically women would no doubt adapt. And they would adapt in the most biologically useful way possible--a way no doubt distasteful to men who maintain a far more static view of the world, and possibly even detrimental to their own personal happiness.

This is all right and well. The human race would've expired long ago if it weren't for women's marvelous ability to abandon and adapt and to be as flexible in their views of 'propriety' as possible.

And that's not to say that women don't develop 'character.' They certainly do and my life has been filled with admirable 'women.' BUT the female biological prime--peak fertility--occurs between the ages of 16-21ish BEFORE the full development of the pre-frontal cortex, you know, the part of the brain responsible for judgment, long term planning, moderating social behavior. Think about that for a moment. Human sexuality exists on a plane that is literally pre-language, pre-cognition, pre-self-awareness.

And then female fertility PEAKS BEFORE THE ABILITY IS IN PLACE FOR THEM TO BEST NAVIGATE THOSE INSTINCTUAL URGES TO PROCURE THE 'BEST" GENETIC MATERIAL. Is that coincident? It used to be well known fact that when young men isolated young women, SEX WOULD HAPPEN. In every 'civilized' 'society' that's ever existed female sexuality HAD to be controlled, PARTICULARLY up until a woman had already fulfilled her biological imperative. Parents arranged marriages, because women going into their best chances of conception weren't capable of picking a mate that would best provide and take care of her progeny. There used to be chaperones, severe social consequences, the constant division of the sexes and even then with the male 'patriarchy' taking the best possible mutual assurances for paternity and paternal investment, mistakes were made. Human literature is filled with them. Even when circumstances were most favorable for the existence of 'quality females' (from a totally male-based perspective), women were still women.

That's not to say there isn't any distinction between 'good women' and 'bad women,' just that women respond to the same stimuli and act on the same stimuli, in accordance to surveillance and consequence.

It's 2016. I 'date' girls in the 18-21 y/o range. In 2010, 2011, 2012, and half of 2013 I was 'dating' girls in the 18-21 y/o range--and during my 2 year spell with my BPDex I was interacting constantly (and observing) girls in the 18-21 y/o range. Even in those 6 years, the context has changed and, once again, women have adapted. At the age when women hit peak fertility instead of doubling down on family-based guidance we give them cars, internet access to covert liaisons with any millions of men, and then SHIP them off to universities with men who are at the peak of their testosterone production--and then provide media narratives to not only allow, but reward promiscuous behavior.

I know you're well-intentioned, but your giving young men false hope for what they might find on the Western SMP. Even older posters, who still are ego-invested in the idea of 'quality women' and had greater experience with women who displayed 'quality behavior' (due to more favorable familial circumstance), have YET to bring one to the surface. I know plenty of men's unicorns lol--quite well--the same girl whose reserved, polite, kind, 'isn't like that' is the same girl who, in a split second when her friend aren't paying attention slip me their number because 'I seem mysterious.' The same girl whose happily engaged to a solid guy and is beloved and respected by her family and community is the same girl who confides to me in a coffee shop after 30 minutes of stonewalling me that she's bored and wishes her fiance would 'fvck her like an animal.' I tell women I'm a deadbeat fastfood worker and act like way more of a douchebag womanizer than my natural inclinations lean toward, because even with girls from solid familial backgrounds, they respond better to the idea of a guy from the dregs of society who poses no risk to infilitrating the social circles they move in and who (since they're on birth control) poses no real risk to filling their lives with any meaningful consequence. And even for women like you and @BeExcellent, who are no doubt quality companions who are sure of themselves and have cultivated their personalities and who probably grew up in more 'favorable' circumstances to exhibit 'quality' behavior, when you were 18 or 19, say I met you when you were out running errands or out with your girlfriends, would've responded predictably to the same stimuli--might require some more legwork and tempering certain edges and possibly revealing more of my 'quality' than I do in the current market, but no drastic changes.

Does that make anyone a slvt? No, just human. All of the above would've been something very depressing and embittering to me 3 or 4 years ago--I actually used to 'hope' girls would turn me down and that I could just treat them well and they'd admire the qualities I most admire about myself but the only girl who fit that bill had BPD and was a marvelous actress and I'm sure I could meet a girl who, at 24, exhibited all sorts of wonderful qualities and self-restraint and would be more than happy with the amount of income I'm making and the amount of self-improvement I partake in--and I could label her a unicorn and post on SoSuave about how wonderful she is--and we might go an entire lifetime under the happy delusion that there wasn't the same potential 'negative' behaviors that men 'bemoan' in her 'lesser' female counterparts. But I've been 100% happier and, for the first time in my life, have been able to enjoy and respect women for who they are instead of for their ability to play some socially-conditioned fantasy role.

And for all the guys longing for a Pollyana past or future, look up the rates of single-motherhood and children out of wedlock from the 20's, 40's, 50's--take your pick from any of the era of unicorns. Read Irwin Shaw, Eugene O'Neill, The Bible, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Joseph Conrad, Charles ****ens (and prod beneath the sugarcoating and idealizations), Bernard Shaw, the Greek classics, Anatole France, Anton Chekhov, Turgenev, Emily Bronte, J.D. Salinger, by God read Chaucer lol; read, Alain-Fournier, Lord Byron, read the Gothic novels (which were inspired by anxiety about the increasing amount of female isolation and the 'evil' effects of female sexuality; read Harold Frederic, Theodore Dreiser, Frank Norris (by God, read Frank Norris). And then get back to me about how female nature, across any number of cultures, continents, and millennia, has changed to any drastic extent. But, of course, those guys must've all only met 'low quality women;' of course, they were just bitter about that ;)
 
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ubercat

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I've been married and had 5 live in ltrs. Plus all the usual rounds of Dating. I haven't met any unicorns Now I'm past the age where I would want to have kids. And I live in a common law country. Letting woman be more than sex and entertainment isn't worth the financial risk
 
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