How to shut the fvck up.

[SilverSonnet]

Right, I'm trying to help myself here, just to stop talking so fvcking much. Everyone says I talk sh!t all the time, etc. So here's my tips, I'm also gonna try these out and see how they go. I'll report back to you on that. Feel free to discuss these, and reply with any other tips.

Right:

1.) Think of what your going to say to the person in front of you. Is it relevant to this person? Will he/she enjoy what your going to say? Will they be able to return with a reply into the conversation? If not, dont bother saying it.

2.) Are you dominating the conversation? Who is talking the most? Is it you? If it is, then tone it down, and inject only interesting points into the conversation.

3.) Is what you say thought provoking and interesting? Or is it just some random crap you just thought about? When you say something, will it come out as well as it does in your head?

4.) Jokes. Dont force humour on people. It never works, believe me. Just let it flow, and you need to have the timing just right, so it is actually funny. Many times have I said something that is funny, but people don't laugh 'cos I say it at the wrong moment.

5.) Is your voice annoying, or is it good to listen to? if you have a high nasal y voice, I suggest voice excercises. Read Mr. Finger's post "Empower your voice" A good post for this.
At a specific tone in your voice you can make things around you vibrate with your voice, including that woman in front of you. Imagine your voice is giving her ears a soft, sensual massage.

5.) Make sure you know what you are going to say, and dont fall out with a bunch of crap, with spaces filled with sounds like "Um" "ugh" "erm" etc.


Please feel free to add to this, as I kind of need the help . And to finish, I'll leave you with a extract from the book "48 laws of Power"

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

 

[iqqi]

Good job, you!

I'll keep an eye on your progress.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Lol, I'm sorry dude, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a true extrovert- through and through. I always have been and I'm really good a thinking on my feet.

And for the part about not forcing humor on people, I have an unwritten rule that I always use when it comes to my smart and witty comebacks.

If someone else says a whole sentence (It's alright if you cut them off or if you start talking at the same time, as long as you come out as the voice that's heard) or two seconds has passed before you think of a good comeback, unless it's really amazing, don't say it.

I find that when people do break that rule, even if what they were saying is funny, it kinda of kills it for me.

And believe me, it's all about HOW you say it. Have you ever seen Dane Cook? What he says is not funny- at all. But HOW he says it makes it funny.

Be confident and sure of yourself, even if you're not sure, act like you are and then people's positive reaction's will make you sure of yourself. And never be afraid to embarrass yourself, it will only hold you back.

 

[Gubby]

Oh, and get some friends who don't judge you like a murderer every time you make a bad joke.

Who cares? So long as the vibe is good.

 

[Desert Fox]

dude FVK not forcing humor on people...you will never get better if you're always scared.

I started saying random stuff that I THOUGHT WAS FUNNY and nobody laughed in the beginning. But like 2 months later I suddenyl realized wtf these ppl are laughing at my jokes!! Nice. Yeah it takes time to hone your humor.

 

[ChrizZ]

The key is to make statements most of the time and to make people want to get into rapport with you.

Trying to force rapport with people right away makes you appear as a loser.

Another thing to mention is to be unreactive. The person that reacts the most is the person with the lowest value.

The key is to give value, not to leech it from others.

statements/ interesting questions = giving value

boring questions/complaining = leeching value from others

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

1.) Think of what your going to say to the person in front of you.

Thinking does have its benefits.

 

[lordson]

another thing to note is always keep an open mind about things and facts

dont be utterly convinced about something and keep arguing that fact when everybody around you thinks you're talking ****

for example: my friend was convinced that Porche has a car that can do a 90degree turn at 150miles an hour. he was really talking it up but everybody in the car knew he was talking sh!t and dispproving his belief.

he just kept going on and on about it, when it was obviously bull****, so dont be like him.

be prepared to accpet the possibility that you're viewpoint is wrong

 

[SinJester]

lol I would be surprised if a lot of people on this site have a problem with talking too much. I don't like these tips because they put you in your head which is almost always bad. This may just be me because I'm naturally a little more to the intoverted side. Ever heard of DavidX's big mouth theory? Not everyone always like's the big mouthed guys but they are usually alpha and get girls.

 

[SilverSonnet]

I know, but I talk wayyy too much and I can't stop. And I just chat sh!t.

 

[michaelhctam]

My Lord, I am notorious for the OP's issues.

I screwed up an important university interview because of it.......F*CK

 

[The Deacon]

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

This is another gray area in social dynamics. I've seen many people who prove this statement and many who disprove it. There was this one guy I knew who was a linebacker for his high school football team. He was a popular guy, and the ladies would come to him if he just stood in a corner with his arms folded and his feet wide apart. He'd only say a sentence or two in response to anything, and people would listen to it like it was the funniest thing they ever heard, even if it wasn't.

On the other hand, if you got to a club and you see guys standing at the corner with their arms folded and they're not talking to anyone, they're probably losers. Even if they got big muscles. There's countless guys at clubs who stand near the walls and fold their arms, trying to look like they're tough, hoping that a woman approaches them. They're fvcking idiots.

 

[ChrizZ]

This is another gray area in social dynamics. I've seen many people who prove this statement and many who disprove it. There was this one guy I knew who was a linebacker for his high school football team. He was a popular guy, and the ladies would come to him if he just stood in a corner with his arms folded and his feet wide apart. He'd only say a sentence or two in response to anything, and people would listen to it like it was the funniest thing they ever heard, even if it wasn't.

On the other hand, if you got to a club and you see guys standing at the corner with their arms folded and they're not talking to anyone, they're probably losers. Even if they got big muscles. There's countless guys at clubs who stand near the walls and fold their arms, trying to look like they're tough, hoping that a woman approaches them. They're fvcking idiots.

This is because the linebacker has situational confidence and people know that he has value.

In a club nobody knows him that's why he'd be just one more chode.


The same with rockstars.

Take a 400pds smelly, no teeth, bald guy from the street and turn him into a rockstar. He'd be able to get almost any woman in the world.

 

[The Deacon]

This is because the linebacker has situational confidence and people know that he has value.

In a club nobody knows him that's why he'd be just one more chode.


The same with rockstars.

Take a 400pds smelly, no teeth, bald guy from the street and turn him into a rockstar. He'd be able to get almost any woman in the world.

100% agreed, ChrizZ

 

[Birdem]

If you want to learn how to shut the f uck up, all you have to do is inward focus. The reason you can't shut the f uck up because you are out ward focused. Inward focusing will turn you into a p ussy that's the only negative side of it. The goal is to learn how to shut the f uck up though, so I thought this would be useful to you.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

Please use regular font . Its annoying to read in that font .

Good post through .

 

[DonGorgon]

Dont shut up... Do become more strategic in your use of verbal communication.. set a goal and use you verbal skills to accomplish it...