how to save sis from DJ

[MacAvoy]

Not quite as simple as it sounds, 2 major problems:
1. My 35 yr sister is a slow learner, she has the mental capabilities of about a 10 year old but can function fairly close to a normal adult

2. Her b/f is not a slow learner, but looking for a slave. He's a real jerk, very old school type, women should do all the cooking etc...

They live at my parents cuz he lost his job and apartment earlier in the year and they found out they were sleepin on people's porches and in the car.

The problem is he takes it his traditional ways to extremes, he is currently a pizza delivery driver and one day last week, he called her to have her bring him supper at work. Well he is driving around, and expects her to take the bus 30 mins each way cuz he won't drive 5 mins to come pick up the dinner my parents cooked. He also really restricts what she can do, she is no longer allowed to go watch hockey games and as a result, shes wasted a season ticket my parents bought for her.

My parents and other have tried talkin to her but she is in love and as we all know here, he's doin things to create attraction.

Any ideas how we can combat the situation so that she sees him for the jerk he is and not fall into the attraction trap?

 

[The Juan and only]

"she's in love"


This sounds bad..... and I doubt there's much you can do about it. When a woman feels hopelessly attracted to a guy then she'll overlook the obvious flaws in the relationship just to stay with him.

I think you'll just have to let this relationship fizzle out; hopefully your sister won't tolerate that kind of treatment forever.


One other option would to talk to the boyfriend yourself and ask him what's up with his behaviour.

 

[wavejams007]

You need to find a way to get your sister to see this guy as he really is. Also, confront the jerk and tell him that somehow, you will see to it that your sis sees him as he really is, but make sure he doesn't just try and block you all off from her.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.dannyhaszard.com/stockholm_syndrome.htm

Sounds like your sister is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

My cousin is too.

She stays with her physically abusive boyfriend as a result of this.

Your sister and my cousin both need therapy to overcome this.

 

[cave dweller]

bum

MacAvoy,

Tell your sister that the guy is just a bum and that she can do better than that.

Hey, that is about all you can do.

Also, you might try to 'hook' her up with someone that you know.

cave dweller

 

[Wyldfire]

Beat his a$$...

 

[AmIAFC]

Do what Mr. Bigg did to R. Kelly during that memorable phone conversation:


[R. Kelly] Damn I could be just talkin to her

[Mr. Bigg] Or you could be just sleepin wit her
Now son, man to man, we both know tha game

[R. Kelly] Yeah but whats that..

[Mr. Bigg] ...Wait a minute now you know all about heartache and pain,
this is my god daughter and I'm just tryin to protect her heart (don't waste your time)
you may have been a moon to her, but to me she's a star (why why why)
Kelly take this phone...

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Beat his a$$...

Than what happens after he feels so weak against other males? He's going to turn into a wife beater because he wants to fight now, and he can only take it out on somebody weaker to win. We all want to win, so who's the closest person in his life that he can make lose?

B!tch, if MacAvoy beats his ass, he's going to have to constantly ****ing beat his ass, to teach him all the lessons nobody ever manned up to while he was younger. Congrats on seeing it now mac, she can do better, you can do better than let her suffer, it's great you opened up. Now let's get down to some real business, not this tough guy, non-alpha male crap where you make something out of nothing for no reason.
=========================
This guy, is how old? Does it really matter? Your sister is 35? Slow learner, of course if she's going out with him.

I recommend you get your sister some smart friends, girls are a girls best friend, guys are a girls worst enemy, and you keep your "friends close, but your enemies closer". So get her some damned friends who will be brutally honest with her, and tell her to stop wasting her time with this guy. Get her some nice MILF's, if you've got to find them, when you hook up with them, don't lie, or they might not want to help, they've got more experience with breaking up with abusive guys than me you and every other straight man on this site combined. Go find a gay guy to help her out at the same time, hopefully a biker dyke's best friend, she can kick his ass, and he can only hide in a corner(props to wyldfire after thinking about it).

Take my advice or don't.

The next best thing I see out there is what cavedweller said, it might not work, it will be another slow process, even slower if she really is a slow learner. Stockhold syndrome is something all of us suffer from(in different ways) if kontroller actually has compassion for what you are asking us for here. I hope you understand what amIAFC quoted for you, about her being your star and protecting her, don't waste your time doing anything thats not going to solve the problem, "you know all about heartache and pain", save her from it, you've already asked why. The Juan and only could learn a few lessons in comprehension as you know, she's 35 years old, of course macAvoy doesn't want her to tolerate the pain forever, at least you were right in the end, he should confront this guy. Hopefully he won't go stupid though and try to kick your ass in return, if you talk to him like wavejams says so.

GL my friend, leave your number if you think he's a psycho. tell us how it turns out, and tell some of your friends, keep them on the down low, you don't want to go into a gunfight empty handed and alone my friend.

 

[SamePendo]

Show her support. Make her know that she has a brother who loves every single last cell of her that is welcoming her once she dumps the ****er.

You can give people the opportunity, give them a slight push, but they have to take the walk by themselves.