How to respond to this kind of harrasment

[evan12]

Today an old man with dog, was walking by us and he said "You have such a beautiful daughter" , my daughter is less than 2 years old, but for some reason and the way he said it, I felt like he was meaning it to my wife. that got me angry, however he did it in smart way that I cant call him on that. I didnt respond anything and didn't return his greeting. I wanted to tell him to fvck off but I will look like the weird one. I still feel like I was insulted.

How would you respond in this situation ?

 

[Epic Days]

Why would you feel the need to call him on it?
Not being sarcastic. Just asking.

 

[Spaz]

I'd smirk back at him then laugh.

 

[Alvafe]

Today an old man with dog, was walking by us and he said "You have such a beautiful daughter" , my daughter is less than 2 years old, but for some reason and the way he said it, I felt like he was meaning it to my wife. that got me angry, however he did it in smart way that I cant call him on that. I didnt respond anything and didn't return his greeting. I wanted to tell him to fvck off but I will look like the weird one. I still feel like I was insulted.

How would you respond in this situation ?

ignore? some news, there is idiots and morons a lot in the world, if a old coot who is in the end of his days try to be smart ass, laught at his face, have pity on idiots sometimes that is all they can get from anyone

 

[jaymbrs]

Harassment? Geez relax man. I came in here expecting some crazy story about a woman verbally chastising you or something.

 

[zekko]

This all seems a little paranoid to me. How do you know he didn't mean what he said? Anyway, the way pedophiles are these days, I think I would have preferred him to compliment my wife.

What's the big deal here? He's an old man. What's he going to do, steal your wife? Besides, any compliment to your wife is a compliment to you, because you have her. I'd just say thank you and move on.

 

[evan12]

To poster asking why that bothered me, well if someone flirting with your woman in-front of you wouldn't that make you angry ? this man did the same thing but in a smart way.

How do you know he didn't mean what he said? Anyway, the way pedophiles are these days, I think I would have preferred him to compliment my wife.

It was my guts, from the way he say it. As for pedophiles, I really hate this word as I think it was invented as easy way to isolate men from society, and make them walk on egg shells. I can understand there are some adults go after children, but these day seem any man interacting with a kid all people around keep looking for any "un-appropriate" behavior from the man to be categorized as pedophile.

 

[evan12]

Why would you feel the need to call him on it?
Not being sarcastic. Just asking.

We could be from different cultures, but in my background culture flirting with wife in-front of husband is insult to the husband, you could get in trouble if you try it.

 

[Spaz]

We could be from different cultures, but in my background culture flirting with wife in-front of husband is insult to the husband, you could get in trouble if you try it.

It's not just merely flirting, he insulted you right in front of ur family and at the same time trying to shame ur wife for having you as her husband.

Clever move by him.

If it was me, I'd stop right there, block his path, lock eyes, and slowly look down at his dog, then look back holding his eyes and casually mention that it's good for men to bring their wife's for a walk, raise a challenging eyebrow then smirk and walk away laughing.

 

[zekko]

To poster asking why that bothered me, well if someone flirting with your woman in-front of you wouldn't that make you angry ? this man did the same thing but in a smart way.

Well, at least he had the respect for you to do it in a subtle way - IF that's really what he was doing.
I just can't picture this bothering me, the guy is no threat anyway. Of course, my philosophy is that it is the woman's responsibility to rebuff any come ons. If she does that, and the guy still persists, then it is time for me to step in. But that's clearly not the case here, so again, I don't see the big deal. There's an old saying: "Don't sweat the small stuff (and it's all small stuff)". But this seems like really small stuff.

As for pedophiles, I really hate this word as I think it was invented as easy way to isolate men from society, and make them walk on egg shells. I can understand there are some adults go after children, but these day seem any man interacting with a kid all people around keep looking for any "un-appropriate" behavior from the man to be categorized as pedophile.

I agree that I don't like the way men can't interact with children without being looked at sidewise. But make no mistake, the pedophiles ARE out there, I've known my share of them. Not victimized by any fortunately, but I know other people who were.

 

[Epic Days]

It's not just merely flirting, he insulted you right in front of ur family and at the same time trying to shame ur wife for having you as her husband.

Clever move by him.

If it was me, I'd stop right there, block his path, lock eyes, and slowly look down at his dog, then look back holding his eyes and casually mention that it's good for men to bring their wife's for a walk, raise a challenging eyebrow then smirk and walk away laughing.

It’s never happened to me so don’t know. Good eye contact would handle it.

 

[Spaz]

It’s never happened to me so don’t know. Good eye contact would handle it.

Depends on the culture, if the males there are predatory or not, cultured or not.

Since its the cultural norm per OP suggestion then he muct act accordingly, more so if the incident happens within walking distance of his home for if word leaks out that he did nothing might endear his wife to future harassment when she's alone walking.

A man must have the duality of both a Prince and a Caveman.

When in Rome act like a Roman.

 

[speed dawg]

"She is, isn't she?"

.....and keep walking.

Not sure why this got you all worked up. Pretty weak on your part, IMO. How old are you? You ever considered the possibility he actually was talking about your daughter? The only way I could see someone doing this type shaming was if you looked old, and that would take some balls by the old man to do that even in that situation.

I sense big time weakness in your character.

 

[Epic Days]

Depends on the culture, if the males there are predatory or not, cultured or not.

Since its the cultural norm per OP suggestion then he muct act accordingly, more so if the incident happens within walking distance of his home for if word leaks out that he did nothing might endear his wife to future harassment when she's alone walking.

A man must have the duality of both a Prince and a Caveman.

When in Rome act like a Roman.

Men generally step lightly around me. I’m friendly and approachable but if they did something like that it would be when I’m not around.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Sometimes is better to ignore. Maybe he doesn´t have anything to lose but you do.

 

[Kotaix]

He told your wife that her daughter is cute, he said it to her because she's hotter than you and has a *****. How surprising.

You're not wrong to take offense to it, but you ARE wrong to react so strongly to it. Speed dawg is right

 

[2Rocky]

We could be from different cultures, but in my background culture flirting with wife in-front of husband is insult to the husband, you could get in trouble if you try it.

I think you are overreacting. Looks insecure to me.

Listen, if I compliment your wife, it is an act of mutual admiration for you attracting and holding on to a smart beautiful woman.

A woman who has given birth to her first child is very insecure about her body image. Having a stranger give her a compliment on her appearance is a nice thing to do. Calling a woman beautiful is not flirting. Just like calling her smart.

And if it was truly directed at your two year old daughter, of course you call a little girl beautiful. You call little wrinkly, stinky, noisy babies beautiful. You call people's dogs beautiful. It's a compliment. Say thank you and move along.

 

[Stoic]

I'm missing some context in not hearing his tone, but I'm thinking you might be too thin skinned/sensitive.

 

[evan12]

I think you are overreacting. Looks insecure to me.

Listen, if I compliment your wife, it is an act of mutual admiration for you attracting and holding on to a smart beautiful woman.

A woman who has given birth to her first child is very insecure about her body image. Having a stranger give her a compliment on her appearance is a nice thing to do. Calling a woman beautiful is not flirting. Just like calling her smart.

And if it was truly directed at your two year old daughter, of course you call a little girl beautiful. You call little wrinkly, stinky, noisy babies beautiful. You call people's dogs beautiful. It's a compliment. Say thank you and move along.

I know many people accused me in insecurity , but maybe they are missing the point , I really dont feel insecure from an old man. however I ll not repeat myself, already explained it in the previous post.
I have sympathy to lonely men, especially the immigrant ones, because many of them live lonely life and are isolated from the society, the lucky ones who have some friends or family members around. However direct or indirect flirting received by me as insult. Cant help to take it in other way.