How to respond to: "I'm only gonna do [sexual act] for my future husband"?

[AmIAFC]

Have you ever encountered this? When you try to get a girl to get a little more freaky, she pulls out with that card. How do you respond to such nonsense? Should you respect it?

 

[DarkShade]

Well you certainly shouldn't force her to do anything, but maybe compromise. Some girls won't do some things no matter what (though my last GF did some things I never thought she would)

Can you live without *it*?

 

[Bible_Belt]

How do you respond to such nonsense? Should you respect it?

No, I wouldn't. I'd reply, "well how are you ever going to get a husband with that attitude?"

Or just get her drunk.

 

[AmIAFC]

This is code for "I'm not attracted to you enough to do "that"". Trust me, if she was infatuated with you, which she should of been if you were a true DJ, she'd be begging to do it for you.

Think this basically sums it up. There have been a couple of times where I've been persistent, and they've allowed it to go on, so I know they're BSing, but often times I'm stuck as to how to respond to it in the heat of the moment without coming off as a rapist.

 

[SmoothTalker]

This is one of two things, either she's not attracted enough, or she doesn't trust you enough. The third possibility is that she simply has no desire to do that act, in which case there's really not much you can do. Likewise I know I have certain things that I will never do to a girl no matter who she is/how much I like her, and I'm sure you're the same. Accept it or find a different chick if its THAT important to you, you won't be able to change her.

Seeing as she said she'd only do it with her husband instead of "No way am I ever doing that" (which btw I've often found to be inaccurate anyway...), I think that basically tells you its a trust issue.

So for example if you want to make a video of you doing her in the ass, well that's usually not something girls want you to go off telling your buddies about.

What worked for me was just having an agreement and actually honoring it that we don't discuss details about what we do in the bedroom with other people. Sure, you miss out on the reputation boost you might get if she's telling people about how great you are, but in my opinion the increased willingness on the girls part to 'get freaky' ifyou will more than makes up for it.

So my advice would be to not force it, adopt that dynamic over time, and try again later.

PS: Its really hard to give you advice as you have given us no info - this situation would have to be handled differently if she's a one night stand compared to a LTR for example.

 

[DJDamage]

Tell her that practice makes perfect and her future husband will thank you for it.

 

[TheGameMaster]

take it as a **** test and make it out as if you are not bothered.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Have you ever encountered this? When you try to get a girl to get a little more freaky, she pulls out with that card. How do you respond to such nonsense? Should you respect it?

There is a difference between what a woman says and what a woman does. Some girls say they'll never date a coworker, but next thing you know, they're banging the person in the cubicle next to you.

 

[decades]

call her bluff. that's what she wants you to do.

 

[RokyRoc]

Keep on trying. Almost there. Depending on how serious she is when she says it and what her body is saying, you can go from there. Remember "NO" means "NO" and "No" means "Yes"

 

[aix237]

dude it can be a lot of sh1t. the last girl i dealt with recently said were not having sex until we are in a committed relationship and then she changed it until shes in love weird stuff. usually a girl would fvck me atleast by the second time we slept together. my guess was she was worried i would use her and lose her like what a lot of guys do. she couldve been testing to see if i like her as a person. or she could ve had some std sh1t giong on down there. i dont konw its a bunch of stuff.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I agree with the replies that said if she was REALLY into you hardcore, she'd let you do anything in bed. The chicks that I have been with that were into me but not totally infatuated had limits, but the few I've had that worshipped the ground I walked on gave me carte blanche to try whatever I wanted during sex.

 

[Etch]

Stop the sex

Simple brother say oh that's cool totally understand and then check your email or stocks or some other random boring activity... she should re engage in sexual activity shortly or if she doesn't within a couple minutes of feeling the absence of your touch she should be more receptive and let you push further towards your goal. Tip = I say email or stocks because it's something that doesn't take too long and you can finish before returning to the interaction this establishes that you are honestly doing the activity not just pouting and allows you to DHV by completing the action and not leaping at her offer of trim.

 

[DJCT]

It depends on if this sexual act is a must-have or a nice-to-have for you.

If it is a must-have, then she isn't the girl for you and you can explain this to her as you walk her to the door. If she is really interested in you, she will do it. That is for sure.

If it is a nice-to-have, then don't worry about it.

 

[L777]

This is code for "I'm not attracted to you enough to do "that"". Trust me, if she was infatuated with you, which she should of been if you were a true DJ, she'd be begging to do it for you.

Lol thats complete bollocks. I had a girl who would suck my d.ick, let me fvck her in the ass etc, basically everything except actual, 'straight' sex. She would call ME and offer to do stuff, but she was a strict Catholic, i.e no sex before marriage.

Don't give BS responses if you have no experience n this field.

OP you just have to gauge how serious she is, sometimes its just an other form of standard LMR which can be overcome but sometimes she will be serious, at which case you stay with her and do what she is prepared to, or find another girl...NEVER force it though.