How to respond to generic messages...

[DJorBUST]

I've been getting a lot of flirts on a dating site recently. Unfortunately unless you pay for an account they only let you send 15-20 variations of a generic message so these messages I get from women don't say much.

I.E. I got a pretty cute girl sending me this the other day:

Hi, My name is *****.
Wow, you're hot!
I would love to meet you.
Tell me more about yourself

Clearly she seemed interested or at least physically attracted to me, but I'm having a tough time getting them to respond to my followup message. I've tried to keep it pretty generic by saying hello, thanks for the flirt, pointing out something we have in common between our profiles and asking her about herself (because women love talking about themselves). Well, several days later she has not responded but has logged on to the site multiple times in that period which leads me to believe she's not planning to respond. This has happened multiple times. Also, this is not one of those generic adult dating sites where they have hundreds of fake accounts sending flirts all the time. I can say with near certainty that all of these accounts are real.

Should I keep the messages simpler?
Should I ask them why they're so special to challenge them?
Should I add more detail about myself?

 

[DonJaunStupidity]

I've been getting a lot of flirts on a dating site recently. Unfortunately unless you pay for an account they only let you send 15-20 variations of a generic message so these messages I get from women don't say much.

I.E. I got a pretty cute girl sending me this the other day:

Hi, My name is *****.
Wow, you're hot!
I would love to meet you.
Tell me more about yourself

Clearly she seemed interested or at least physically attracted to me, but I'm having a tough time getting them to respond to my followup message. I've tried to keep it pretty generic by saying hello, thanks for the flirt, pointing out something we have in common between our profiles and asking her about herself (because women love talking about themselves). Well, several days later she has not responded but has logged on to the site multiple times in that period which leads me to believe she's not planning to respond. This has happened multiple times. Also, this is not one of those generic adult dating sites where they have hundreds of fake accounts sending flirts all the time. I can say with near certainty that all of these accounts are real.

Should I keep the messages simpler?
Should I ask them why they're so special to challenge them?
Should I add more detail about myself?

Well, thats where you are mistaken. There will always be a few fake ids that are created so that regular users like you will be tempted to join the site in question.

Or there would be a feature which would restrict communication with a non-paying member of the site. But it still doesnt change the fact that there will be fake ids that are put there to lure users into the site.

 

[ezily]

Yeah you need to be more C&F. Your response sounds really boring and probably turns them off. Plus, they probably sent that message to a lot of guys they thought were hot and your response just sucked so she forgot about you. I don't have much experience with online stuff but I think something like this might help you (at least use a similar line of thought when coming up with something you want to say anyway):

You: Wow that's a bold pick up. I'm not sure I should tell you more because by the looks of your profile you could be a stalker. You're going to have to prove to me that you're normal first.

Look, so the above isn't awesome but it's less generic than anything your writing and you won't sound like a AFC. I bet she'll try and prove herself to you. At the end there you pretty much told her to tell you about herself first.

btw I'm assuming that you're paying for the website? or is the girl contacting you paying? I mean if you're getting all these hits maybe you should pay and see what happens. These generic messages won't work for you. If she's sending a generic message she probably wants to see what kind of replies she's going to get to see if it's worth her money to pay.

 

[ezily]

oh and I see you mention about fake accounts. Now that I think about it, that type of message seems really fake. How did the other messages you get sound? Plus you say you're getting a lot from a lot of different girls so I would take this stuff with a grain of salt.

 

[DJorBUST]

I have a paid account and most of the women DO NOT. Probably because they're the cheapest creatures on the planet but also because they know men will pay for the account and they just have to send a generic message to initiate contact.

Believe me, I know what a generic account looks like. This site is a smaller ethnic dating site and I've had a lot of experience with women on this site and talking to real people. The profiles are way too detailed and wierd (like the women) to have been created by anybody sane.

So, anybody else think I should start off by being sort of a jerk and saying the equivalent of "why should I talk to you?"?

God, I hate acting like somebody I'm not...

 

[ezily]

God, I hate acting like somebody I'm not...

true that. So that's why you may need to change you're mindset. You're not being a jerk, you're being a man you owns himself and is trying to generate attraction. I don't think she'll think you're a jerk. It'll probably seem more playful and flirtatious. Look, this is over the internet. It's really hard to tell what someone really means. But this kind of stuff works with hot girls in real life so I would try it. NOTE: if a girl is not hot or is really self conscious then this may backfire. But yeah I would be really interested to see how my reply works. and btw, obviously what you're doing isn't working. A girl can think a guy is hot but if he doesn't know how to talk to her in a way that generates attraction then that guy won't get any girls.

 

[DJorBUST]

So, she finally responded three days later with a very short message saying essentially "What is the most comical situation you can imagine on an airplane?" and NOTHING else

Jeebus. It's like the three Monty Python riddles with this one. I'm sure she has multiple guys, is just playing me for her amusement and this is some sort of **** test. However, I would still love to **** her. Is saying "Having to use the inflatable air mask after you choke on my giant ****" what she's looking for?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So, she finally responded three days later with a very short message saying essentially "What is the most comical situation you can imagine on an airplane?" and NOTHING else

Jeebus. It's like the three Monty Python riddles with this one. I'm sure she has multiple guys, is just playing me for her amusement and this is some sort of **** test. However, I would still love to **** her. Is saying "Having to use the inflatable air mask after you choke on my giant ****" what she's looking for?

Low interest level. The ones who are interested will definitely be more fun to play with if you are fun yourself. Send off a canned response and don't epect much in return.

 

[jamescr73]

best bet is dont respond at all.

 

[Jitterbug]

DJorBUST, you've encountered a bot aka a fake account. Those are stock standard messages coming straight from a database. How to tell? If you have anything about yourself on your profile at all, no interested woman will ask you to tell her more about yourself in her very first message. She'd be reading every word of your profile and would ask something more specific. That second message is a totally random question pulled out of a collection. Waste no more time with this "woman".