phobius said:
I've been seeing this gal for 5 months and overall it's going really great. But recently, she has been more and more dissatisfied with her job and her living situation in general. She talks at times about moving away. So far I just haven't responded at all when she says this, other than to maybe smile and say nothing. What would you do?
Women frequently say things like this to a man to trigger off thoughts in him or to manipulate him into stepping up and becoming involved in the solution to her current dilemma(s)... Sometimes women just toss stuff at you in the form of a whine or a grievance to test your willingness to craft a solution for her.
THis is a classic woman tactic...they know from years of testing, that most men are sympathetic to a "damsel in distress" - we are the "fixers" or the "rescuers".. Women also adopt the 'victim position' habitually for two reasons, Firstly because they love to present their "troubles" as not of their own making and therefore outside their ability or resources to solve. THis hooks the listener in to "feel" sympathy and then it is only a short step to manipulating him into becoming a partner in her drama. A woman will always look to others for solutions.
Secondly most women are hopeless problem solvers. They avoid taking action like the plague. They feel somewhat entitled to have a man "take all the bad things away"..
Listen to women talking together. They go over and over the problem and talk about how everyone "feels" about the issue, and then go into endlees speculation about all the minor details that may have caused the problem, BUT they never talk about what TO DO about it. NEVER..
If I had to guess at what your women is up to, I would say that she may be attempting to get you to draw closer and offer her some kind of more committed situation..
You see, moving away only makes sense IF she has somethimng better to move TO - A better job or a more affordable appt, or a bigger house for less money.
A woman in a relationship which is "going great" will never just move away for in some vague hope that she will pull down a better salary.
Ask her what she sees as an ideal SOLUTION to her unhappiness....
