How to quit being a little b*tch??

[Seduction_Files]

how do i quit acting like a little b*tch all the time? i have had a tremendously abusive past and i have only overcome it with being either flat out crazy or being really really distant and detatched.Either way it's became really desctrutive for me.i am 26 and i have been this way all my life.long story short, i have had a fvcked up life..nothing to cry about or anything,but it's been rough.i don't know how to function in a positive and happy level, i only know how to show appretitation at most by doing things for people but when it comes to communicating it verbally or interpersonally..i fall flat.
i have no friends because i have been fvcked over pretty bad many times, i have no girlfriend presently because i am simply too angry at them.i don't trust people and i am very suspicious them and their intentions.i am not a bad person and i have well intentions,but it seems to be clouded in bullsh*t.

i close up and act like a little scared little b*tch in public-but i act like such a bad ass on the outside.i feel like they are talking crap about me when i know they aren't.i feel like my skin is crawling in my skin..i seem to attract people to me because alot of people try to be cool with me but i always act soo standoffish that they go away..even the people i like i winde up pushing them away. i am not no EMO geek or anything and it's not like i am some dork or nerd,and i don' tfear anything and i don't care what people think about me..i just feel like i am soo angry at everything that i can't even function.i don't want to go to a shrink, been there done that. i don't like talking to people in person because i just don't. i am at my wits end,girls are the least of my problems right now... i am more concerned about my well being and mental health more then anything. i have soo much anger i don't know what to do with it and i have soo much love i want to give but no outlet for it either..i feel like i am just ...hopelessly angry and pissed off all the time for no reason...when all i need to do is quite acting like a little b*tch...i tried being nice but it just scares people away,for now i'd settle for being nice over how i have been ....
Help!!!

 

[Seduction_Files]

Meh.i don't even care anymore ,as long as i get a job and i make money i could care less..i guess i answered my own question.i just need to grow the fvck up and quit acting like such a little b*tch!!!
i am just pissed off over stupid sh*t from the past and i need to move on and forget about it! lessons learned,toughen up sport! life goes on...

 

[Sinistar]

To answer your question: Then grow up!

You've apparently got a ton of sh!t to deal with from your past. Heck, your smart enough to realize it needs working through. So simply do what any mature person would do - continue seeking professional help until you find the answers you're in search of.

I believe the help you seek is beyond the scope of this forum.

 

[Seduction_Files]

i just need to get a fvcking life and quit crying about every little thing that happens

 

[joekerr31]

you're problem is that at no point in your life have you been taught how to think in a positive manner, or how to cope with life stressors in a positive way.

instead you've probably only ever seen dysfunctional ways of viewing life and coping with its unpleansant elements.

i had a similar past. but so have a lot of people.

the good thing with that kind of past is that you go one of three routes. you self destruct. you go through life miserable. or you find your way.

if you find your way you end up with a sense of self and self strength that is much greater than you're average joe. and in many ways the doors open to you to find the life that only most people dream about. because in order to get out of hell, you have to see the way to heaven. and once you see the way and take that path, no one and nothing in this world can ever bring you down again.

but, all of that is just backgrounder. you need advice right? so here you, some down to earth practical advice ...

1) you have to admit that you HAVE a problem. you didn't cause it, you aren't to blame for it, BUT its there. heck, you may not even realize it, but theres a good chance that you think that YOU and the PROBLEM are one in the same - hence why it seems like things are hopeless. hence why its so critical to first accept that nothing is wrong with YOU, you simply have problems to fix.

2) YOU have to take responsibility for fixing it. your parents may have been pricks. 100 women might have screwed you over. you might have been raped by your local pastor, whatever. those all led to the problem, but none of those things will resolve the problem. resolving it is YOUR responsibility.

3) you have to learn what it means to love yourself. sure, people might think this is some kind of ophra bullsh*t im saying, but its not. you have to be the source of positive reinforcement, love, acceptance, forgiveness, etc. that you wish you had from the external world. If you can become your own source for those things you have become a king among men - on this forum we call this seeing yourself as the prize.

4) you have to change the way you think. sounds simple but its not. look, 95% of HEALTHY NORMAL people are f*cking nuts. someone with your background can NEVER be like them. your issues and dysfunctional coping skills won't allow you to live among normal people and not let their f*cked up ways of existing effect you negatively. so you have to not just resolve your problems, but then supercharge your thinking so that not even the messed up behavior of normal people drags you down. my personal suggestion is that you buy "The Guide to Rational Living" by Albert Ellis. Read it 5 times front to back - and read it with the intent to change. it will change how you cope with life.

5) seek ongoing counselling as you take hte journey to find a new way of feeling, thinking, behaving and living.

it's important to realize in all this also though that many of the changes you need to go through you arent going to want to go through. anger is a defense mechanism. you have it because it was adaptive to the environment you grew up. it kept you going. you're body / mind wants to keep it around because it thinks it still needs it.

so in a way you have to learn how to let go of things that HAVE been adaptive for you in life. sure they also cost you as well, but they kept you going and protected you. it's an odd process letting go of the things that kept you "safe" if you will. which is why you have to learn about why SPECIFIC thoughts and behaviors are part of yoru personality, and to let go of them.

anyway, I wish i could make it simplier than i have above. im sure even after my advice the path forward still seems ambigous, but nothing anyone says will make it crystal clear.

the path to a more enjoyable life requires difficult stages of introspection, confronting parts of yourself that aren't healthy yet which you see as being as much of who you are as you would your arm or your leg, and adopting new forms of thinking and behaving which might seem very very uncomfortable at first but which have long term benefits.

in a way, you're issue with your personality and coping behaviors is very similar to the AFC syndromme many men come here looking to overcome. they've learned to be a certain way of seeing and interacting with women, and they have to learn a whole new way of looking at women and interacting with them.

change is never easy, but personally i've come to believe that the only real point to life is change - its pretty much the only interesting thing going on on this pebble of a planet we call earth.

 

[Hitman10000]

I feel the same way. The thing is I learn and still learn that it's okay to say no and it's okay to be unhelpful.

Usually I am unhelpful if I don't have the time, but not because I don't like someone or they don't like me (unless they f*cked me or tried to) It's all about balance, you wouldn't want to hang around someone that didn't offer help but you also wouldn't want to respect someone who offered help left and right indiscriminantly (low value status.)

 

[Seduction_Files]

okay..yesterday night i went out to a kareokae bar and sang my heart out to Madonnas smash 80's hit 'Borderline' ...and i got a few 'groupies' numbers, a few three way kisses and sucked some lime off some strange girls navel with a shot of techuila!! sometimes being a biligerant drunk isn't soo bad!!:rockon:
life is good!

*Oui
my head hurts..

 

[Bible_Belt]

Instead of trying to make your anger go away, another option is to try to channel it in a positive way. Boxing or martial arts are easy suggestions, but I think all successful people are angry at the concept of their own failure - that's part of what makes them work so hard at being successful. Any emotion can be channeled in a positive way. Love of success and hatred of failure are each equally valid motivators.

 

[Seduction_Files]

i was having a really bad mood swing when i wrote that, it's only bad when i am down..most of the time i am hunky dory i just get a little mellow dramatic sometimes,but i have a sense of humor and i don't take myself too seriously so it's all good. when i do become angry though,you're right..i need a better outlet for it then scolding people or pumping my fist in the air. most of the time i am cool though.i had a bad past, so what? i am sure alot of people have also.i only get that way when i am in a bad mood, i am sure everyone has their moments of scolding the world!

 

[Metro3pilot]

you sound like a little ***** ...

cry all you need to cry, maybe when you have had enough of the pity and poor me partys, you'll realize, you decide what you make of your life ...not other people ........suck it up and carry on soldier ...

and stay away from alcohol brother, unless you like crying in your beer ....

:box:

 

[Seduction_Files]

Meh, i don't really care... i take life with it's ups and downs and enjoy what i can out of it the good,the bad and the ugly..and there is alot of ugly :crackup: but then again there plenty good as well

 

[joekerr31]

coo coo

coo coo :crazy:

 

[Seduction_Files]

unlike most people, i don't suffer from insanity..
i enjoy every confusing and dysfunctional moment of it

 

[joekerr31]

coo coo

coo coo

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: