How to progress with this girl?

[Dark Haired Alpha]

Long story short, I met this girl through a friend because she was looking for someone - he talked to her about me, then gave me her number and we went on a blind date.

On the second date, we kissed (it was not smooth at all and it was a short kiss, we just touched ea h other's tongue and then I back off, don't ask me why, I think I might've screwed up here).

Been on total of 4 dates by now and on the last one (yesterday) I invited her to my place for a wine. She agreed to come over today, but cancelled two hours before (she texted me that she was sick). I texted back that it's fine and that she should slow down at work (she works really hard).

My question is how to progress further, because I'm starting to feel that I started chasing her too much. How do I get her to come over without coming across as needy?

 

[sharkbeat]

Don't give her a lot of attention at this point. I'm not recommending NC, just keep the attention low. Once you pick up any more IOIs from her, then escalate again.

Like the wise man said, relationship is two-way. If you've been doing the work and she's not responding, it's time for her to be doing the work.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Long story short, I met this girl through a friend because she was looking for someone - he talked to her about me, then gave me her number and we went on a blind date.

On the second date, we kissed (it was not smooth at all and it was a short kiss, we just touched ea h other's tongue and then I back off, don't ask me why, I think I might've screwed up here).

Been on total of 4 dates by now and on the last one (yesterday) I invited her to my place for a wine. She agreed to come over today, but cancelled two hours before (she texted me that she was sick). I texted back that it's fine and that she should slow down at work (she works really hard).

My question is how to progress further, because I'm starting to feel that I started chasing her too much. How do I get her to come over without coming across as needy?

You've seen each other four times already. If you're the one doing all the asking it's up to her to ask next.

IF she does ask to meet up. Don't clear out your plans for that day whenever it is even if you have none. You don't want to always be available to her. IF she asks you change the day so she thinks in her mind she isn't your top priority all the time especially not being in a relationship.

You don't have to come off as bitter nor an ahole. You just don't want to be a good dog whenever she commands.

Even though you've kept seeing each other you are slightly sabotaging yourself by always being around or answering texts (if you always answer hers right away, initiate them most of the time or are the one asking her out.) Chicks automatically assume EVEN IF they like you you have no other options and are "Too available".

Don't answer her texts right away, let her initate meets at times.

Talk to and see other chicks REGARDLESS.

She has to invest in initiating too.

If she doesn't. You don't either. Let her wonder. Don't feed information to your friend or anyone who knows her as she may get info on you she doesn't like IE: (Her: What'd X do this sat? Did you talk to him? Your friend tells her: Oh he told me he stayed in on Saturday. She thinks: Hmmm he told me he had plans and changed our next meet. He's trying to play busy but isn't. I don't like him.)

So even if you get asked by her and you change the date to let her think you have something else to do that day...DO NOT give out info to your friend or people who know her as she'll know what you're up to.

You have to do a soft NC. Let her intiate and wonder at times. IF she does show more interest in seeing you. Go out then back to your place for drinks.

 

[VladPatton]

Chill with the contact. The question is now will she make any effort? Was she really sick? Is she giving you bullshıt excuses to get you to back off?

In due time you will have your answer to all of these wonderful questions.

There comes a time when the guy has to give the girl his very own shıt tests to she where he stands.

 

[buzzin_frog]

Dude, if you're just looking to get laid, you should always use the 3 Strikes Rule. If the chick hasn't put out after the third date, you should drop her because she will just keep you hanging on!! Why waste your time on a chick who won't put out for you?

If she isn't comfortable with you by now to spend some quality alone time, or her escalating to more intimacy with you, then it's fair to say that it wont get any further!!

You've been out on 4 dates with her.....You already passed your quota....What did you get out of it for all your time and trouble? A half assed awkward kiss...That is it man....That is what you got!! Then when you set up an intimate date with her.....she flakes....What does that tell you?

I invited her to my place for a wine. She agreed to come over today, but cancelled two hours before (she texted me that she was sick).

LOL..C'mon man....get with it!! People just don't get sick two hours before a date......she would've been sick all day to let you know earlier. This is just an excuse to get out of going to your place. She knew what you had in mind and she didn't want to be there with you!! So she finds an excuse to get out of it!!

She didn't even have the decency to call you to say sorry she is sick...Wouldn't a person who was serious do that?...she just texted you....what does that tell you? She didn't call you....because, she most likely was never sick!!

I had chicks who were sick that still wanted to come over to see me. I told them no because I didn't want to get sick. The fact is....if she really wants to be with you....she will find a way to be there....also she would've offered to come on another day instead if she was serious...she didn't tell you that!!

My question is how to progress further, because I'm starting to feel that I started chasing her too much

There is nothing more for you to progress with!!

In the time you spent with her.... You went on 4 dates...got an awkward kiss...got flaked on the last time. I don't see this progressing any further at all...How come you still do?

When it was time to progress further.....what happened?....she flaked on you...Does this sound like a girl who is really into you?

But if you want to waste your time...you are welcome to it!! This is my advice below....

This chick knows your intentions because of what you set up at your place. It's up to her now if she wants it to progress any further....Not You....You had 4 dates and you set up the last.....It's now up to her to offer to come over if she wants to. Don't put in any extra effort with this chick...just put her off as if she is on the bottom of your priority list...and if she doesn't ask you to hang out or come over anytime soon then you will know it's not gonna happen!! I would write her off as a lost cause myself.

How do I get her to come over without coming across as needy?

Dude, you can't get her to come over....she will come over if she wants to....and so far she flaked on your offer when she had he chance to!! If she wants to be with you, she will....if not, you will find that out soon, then you won't be drinking any wine with her!!

 

[Mr Wright]

Girls generally know the sexual implications of an given situation, so if she doesnt want to come over, you are missing either attraction or comfort. From reading that, I would say that shes done, you had 4 shots and really shes just looking to get screwed and not feel guilty about it. Provide that or she will do what she is doing, moving onto the next guy.

Just think, what would a hot girl do? and do that, so thats ignore her, screen her calls etc.

Flip the script and either she will come running or you can move on and not post on a message board about a girl who really doesnt even care about you that much.

In the future, forget chasing girls, have a month where you do not chase, you are just social, have a good time and you chill out. Hot girls have guys chasing them all the time.

 

[lamobatsman]

Dude, if you're just looking to get laid, you should always use the 3 Strikes Rule. If the chick hasn't put out after the third date, you should drop her because she will just keep you hanging on!! Why waste your time on a chick who won't put out for you?

If she isn't comfortable with you by now to spend some quality alone time, or her escalating to more intimacy with you, then it's fair to say that it wont get any further!!

You've been out on 4 dates with her.....You already passed your quota....What did you get out of it for all your time and trouble? A half assed awkward kiss...That is it man....That is what you got!! Then when you set up an intimate date with her.....she flakes....What does that tell you?


LOL..C'mon man....get with it!! People just don't get sick two hours before a date......she would've been sick all day to let you know earlier. This is just an excuse to get out of going to your place. She knew what you had in mind and she didn't want to be there with you!! So she finds an excuse to get out of it!!

She didn't even have the decency to call you to say sorry she is sick...Wouldn't a person who was serious do that?...she just texted you....what does that tell you? She didn't call you....because, she most likely was never sick!!

I had chicks who were sick that still wanted to come over to see me. I told them no because I didn't want to get sick. The fact is....if she really wants to be with you....she will find a way to be there....also she would've offered to come on another day instead if she was serious...she didn't tell you that!!




There is nothing more for you to progress with!!

In the time you spent with her.... You went on 4 dates...got an awkward kiss...got flaked on the last time. I don't see this progressing any further at all...How come you still do?

When it was time to progress further.....what happened?....she flaked on you...Does this sound like a girl who is really into you?

But if you want to waste your time...you are welcome to it!! This is my advice below....

This chick knows your intentions because of what you set up at your place. It's up to her now if she wants it to progress any further....Not You....You had 4 dates and you set up the last.....It's now up to her to offer to come over if she wants to. Don't put in any extra effort with this chick...just put her off as if she is on the bottom of your priority list...and if she doesn't ask you to hang out or come over anytime soon then you will know it's not gonna happen!! I would write her off as a lost cause myself.




Dude, you can't get her to come over....she will come over if she wants to....and so far she flaked on your offer when she had he chance to!! If she wants to be with you, she will....if not, you will find that out soon, then you won't be drinking any wine with her!!

what if ur not looking to get laid? what if ur looking for a rship? then do you still have 3 strike rule?